11 Years Old Options

[..:loveee.NuTTii]

It's my first time postin here....I'm nervous.
Anyway, it's this thing I wrote for one of my English homeworks and everyone liked it:

11 years old
Standing by the grave side
Watching everyone cry my flower away
Mines didn't even make it to the bottom
Before they started filling up the grave
I don't really think about it much now
But it still hurts when I see her face
And I was just 11

I went numb for some time
Afraid to heal, trying not to heal
It all just seemed too surreal
She was gone so I started acting dark
I snapped at my friends and cursed them all
One gets pissed, calls me a poser, and breaks away
Now we just don't talk at all
But then I was just 11

What hurt the most was noone told me
Daddy withdrew and mommy cried
And I got all dressed up that day
Trying to impress her
Only she wasn't there to see
Eyes closed, hands clasped
How could she go so peacefully
Knowing she left me behind
Now I'm not 11
And now I finally see

[sikdragon]

I might of missed something, did you accidentally leave out half of it in an edit accident?

I read all the comments first. Like simon, "it's like ordering a gaurd dog, and getting a poodle in a leather jacket."

Here's something you've never heard before. There are two types of emotions, shallow emotions and primal emotion.

shallow emotions are easy to scratch because it's just the surface, but to get down deep you need brutal truth and a powerful relation.

That's why girl's get so emotional at sad times... not all girls.
Their surface is soft and mushy. It can get scratched over and over. That is also why so many fall in love so easily. trust me you do.

Guy's are trained from a very young age to have a very thin scratching surface. *im talking about guys not faggots and effeminate weirdos*

When something penetrates passed that first surface real emotion happens. things like getting in a car crash and causing the death of your mother. Not only the fact that she's dead, but the fact that you killed her. Guilt is a tool that is used to break the surface. Crying when bambi's dad was shot does not.

Another tool used is truth which ties in with guilt, because it pricks the heart. It's like yes that's so true. When something agrees against that darkness where you hide your inner despair and wrong doings. When something touches that hole in your heart and it shines a light, saying that yes it is hollow. That can be tremendous.

Sex... images on television and on here can arouse certain primal emotions, but it's mostly physical and usually penetrates with guilt and inner desire. That desire gives a foot hold keeping a scar open for sex to slip in. Do you know the joy a virgin gets when she gives herself to a man and she knows it's right? do you know that trust? that is the ultimate gateway passed the surface. That's when two hearts meld and combine. Making the heart strings intertwine.

There are other ways to reach passed. One is God. many don't believe in God and therefore you can't understand that no matter how metaphorical i get. It's beyond anything described here. Love beyond imagination. it's as if you were built for it. the Holy Ghost is awesome.

Another way to reach passed is poetry. guilt ridden poetry. Truthful poetry. and relatable poetry. There are others of which i attempt to speak with sub-conscious and try and read how people react to hone my skill. The potential of the human mind is boggling. there are so many things that we as humans fail to understand.