Rants., ..Would you like to shoot me? Options

[*mishyerr*]

In case you do not wish to read, it is long. And I am not asking if we are in love, I know we are not. ;]


So here goes, I, dating a guy for almost three months, suddenly realize that I have opened my heart to its tender area, and have given away an un-numbered amount of my precious love and affection. He, on the other hand, has told me he feels the same way and adores me with all his little heart, yet he cannot stand it when I cannot sexually be with him. He is 'mad', for the lack of a better term, and the un-eloquent word he uses, b/c he thinks I won't "see" him the entire summer b/c of summer school. Wait, wasn't it, HE, that told me he was going to music school in Mexico the whole summer? Wasn't it HE who was happy to be leaving his hellhole to learn more about his true love and desire, music? And I, I cannot control where I go; my parents are much too strict and over-stressed these days. He doesn't understand how my Asian parents represent the 'typical Asian parent' steriotype, for he is half Caucasian and Mexican. He thinks it's my fault or what not. What am I supposed to do? Mope around like some idiot because my immature boyfriend is trying to ignore me and be happy and smiley at the same time? So, after finding out this annoying information, I finally just smiled, smiled, and smiled, and when I got home, cried. Than, I realized something, "Wtf am I crying for? I'm young and beautiful, I still have a life full of boys who will gladly rip my heart out. It'll be fine." And than, I discovered a little more maturity in me, and I am happy. Yet, the dissonance between me and my boyf make me think harder and harder, and my mind is not in harmony with my heart. It's kinda confusing.

[smilz2dasun]

wow. that sounds just like something i went through...except it wasnt my boyfriend who left during the summer, it was me. i left for about two and a half months to thailand to a boyfriend who just wasn't there anymore. but you <i>will</i> be fine. everything happens for a reason so what you're going through is obviously helping you for your next relationship or will help you to overcome other things.
my mind and my heart conflicted so much with each other... and it still does even though it was about a year ago. we were doing so good but i knew the fact that i couldn't be there for him sexually was frustrating him. so..during the summer he cheated on me and.. it just wasn't pretty. i kept thinking though that maybe if i didn't decide to wait he'd still be here.. i know that's the wrong way to think of it but i really liked him a lot. but then again, i know that it's wrong. it's wrong to do something when you don't want to or you're not ready.. and i know that there's other guys out there who would be and are much better than him.
same goes for you. you <i>are</i> young and beautiful.