just another problem., hope you can solve this one. Options

[extravaganzahh_]

sorry if this is too long.
so two years ago during the SARS (im from hongkong) schools had a really long holiday bcuz of the virus. nobody had nethg to do and so all kids from my estate went down to the podium garden downstairs to play evryday. and theres this girl gang and a boy gang - and ofcz im in the girl gang. and the two gangs are enemies. i never told anyone but i fell in love wif this guy in the boy gang. we both lived on the first floor (tho in diff blocks) and i culd see his home from my window.
May came and the holiday ended. the kids still went down to play some of the time. two months later summer hols started, and the atmosphere resumed. but the boys gang started to hurt the girls physically, like tripping them on purpose while they were on rollerskates and spraining their ankles and blerh. and so me and my frds got the phone numb of the guy i like (XXX) and we phoned him and asked for peace. and it worked.
for a while the girls gang hung out downstairs wif XXX evryday. i used to b on the phone wif him all day. it was rly sweet. on the bad side, the other guys didnt know that the girls gang and XXX were alredi friends. so evrytime the other guys came down aswell (which was little), XXX always ignored the girls.
september came and evrybody went back to school agen. we still went down to play weekly. but when november came, XXX moved away all of a sudden - without telling anyone or nethg. he still came back to play once evry two weeks for the next few months but then the visits stopped. i was really surprised when he came back on valentines and on his birthday.
a few days bfore his birthday, i talked to him on msn. he forced me to tell him who i like. and i told him. he didnt have any reaction tho. so a few days after his bday, i told him that i was only playing on him. big mistake. he has been hating me ever since. he ran away from me evrytime he saw me - the visits were alredi very rare. when my friends asked him why, he wouldnt tell.
i guess i knew why. perhaps he rly did like me - i was only too stupid to notice. perhaps he was too shy to say nethg when i told him that i liked him. perhaps i rly hurt him when i told him that i was playing on him.
this february, he immigrated to shanghai. i sent him an email telling him evrythg. he unblocked me then. when i asked him agen, he said that he only hated me a little bit.
he blocked me agen these few days tho.
so i guess i rly hafta ask for advice.
i screwed evrythg up.
i dont know if theres any way out.
and please dont say forget him or blah. ive tried. for a year. no work.
and btw. im now having another crush on a guy who lives on 2ndfloor. he's really tall and he plays wif my bestfriends lil bro. problem is my bestfriend is hafing a crush on him too. and he just cant give me the feeling that XXX gave me.

im so confused.
boys.

[extravaganzahh_]

haha i know that i screwed evrythg up... its a huge mess is it?
but i alredi sent him a long email explaining evrythg the day bfore he left. and he's still hating me a bit.
i was alredi rly relieved that he was willing to unblock me and talk to me.
but he blocked me agen.

i rly dont get him.