nice guys, lose Options

[fameONE]

Despite my sarcasm and satirical humor on this blog, I'm a nice guy and its a well known fact to all those who come in contact with me. Very few have seen my temper and most are aware of my attempts at philanthropy. To put it simply; I care about others more than I care about myself and I selfishly devote myself to selflessness. I'm told all the time that I have every right to show some more pride in my achievements or that I should accept compliments with a bit more ease, but, this is just my nature. I've dated girls who've loved this about me and I've made them very happy. A few others have used this against me and manipulated me like the fool I am (when it coms to women). If you've ever been to a pro basketball game, the courtside suites are as luxurious as it gets. You don't even have to watch the game with leather furniture and a plasma screen tv linked to DirecTV with a constant (and free [sort of]) supply of food. Now that that's said, I invited an ex to the Spurs/Lakers game and I had courtside suites. We were there for 20 minutes and she decided that basketball, as well as my interests (jazz music, motorcycles, writing) bored her and she wanted me to show her a good time on our date. Jazz clubs were out of the question, motorcycle rides weren't an option and poetry night got put right out of my mind. I took her out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory and proceeded to take her home. Different girl, same MO. Guys like me, in my situation that is, stand idly by while the girls that we believe we should be with suffer through a shady relationship with the cheating a-hole that we secretly plot to take out. My question is; do girls like these assholes that degrade them, objectify them and live their lives behind a macho bravado just for their rep? From middle school to college, its been the same thing over and over again and the nice guy, no matter how good looking or ugly, strong or weak, finished last.

[fameONE]

I took the liberty to use my dead time at Hollister as an experiment to test out my theory about girls and who/what they're attracted to.

Since I have to wait a few months to work at my favorite store, Express, I settled for Hollister. I need the money and the eye-candy is a good enough perk to keep me enjoying the job. Beautiful girls come and go and there's no end to it. With each girl that entered the store, I greeted them (professionally) and as they shopped, I went along with my job description by providing customer service.

Out of sheer boredom, and a quest for a challenge, I began to playfully flirt with these girls. Out of the 5 girls I flirted with (beign myself), 2 acknowledged my manner as being sweet and I was called a gentleman. I believe in modern day chilvarly and courtship so that was great compliment. 2 more of the girls were completely unaffected and blew me off by giving me short and concise answers when I tried to spark conversation. The last girl had the appearance of a 'bad girl' and seemed to find me appealing, but didn't quite show the enthusiasm as the first 2. Hmmm....

Somehow, I experimented and still was able to be productive at my job because, after all, thats why I was there. Now, I sank into my machismo and began to act like a hardass. I walked around from table to table, folding clothes, with my chest high and making my pecs bounce everytime I made eye contact with a nice girl. When my co-workers would speak to me casually, I would be overly-confident and loud (obviously trying to impress someone). This, I found, made me feel like a total jackass.

Here we go again with the welcoming salutations into the store. The first 3 girls I flirted with while using this bravado were so into me, it made me sick. These girls were no less prettier than the first 5, but their shallowness was just ever so evident when I spat my game. Again, I felt like a jackass.

Ah, but my how things change. The 4th girl I flirted with while acting like total jackass didn't by the act and wanted no part of any conversation I had to argue (Good job). And, even better, the 5th, said to me, "You're a handsome fella, wahts with the act? [What do you mean] I know you're nicer then you let off." Man, I was so relieved and if I hadn't been doing a voluntary experiment on my own accord, this would be when I go home and take a "long hard look in the mirror and decide if I want to be the person staring back at me," but, thats not the case.

Never, not even for a second, was I truly discontent with being a nice guy. Its who I am. There's nothing wrong with being inherently mild mannered and friendly. That doesn't mean I can't break a jaw with one punch or that I can't bench well over 200lbs, it just means that I'm a nice person. And with that, I'm more than happy with it. So, let those girls make their idiotic decision to get demoralized by some jackass. Us nice guys will still be nice, and still be here. Hopefully, my satisfaction with being the guy who's always "just a friend" will help someone else out. After all, we're still so young.