The Lonely Girl, The eerie night so full of despair... |
 Apr 6 2005, 06:19 PM
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#1
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you!  Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674  |
The eerie night so full of despair,
The night breeze blowing through her hair, The creaky swings are where she's found, The soft crying; the only sound, The park is empty, no one in sight, The lanterns shine dimly a light, The girl, her feet drag on the dirt, The eyes, they show of pain and hurt, The dress she wears is old and torn, The poor girl, she looks so forlorn, The girl, she sighs, so full of fears The girl, she turns and disappears. Critique appreciated. I usually don't make rhyming poems, so I may not be that good. |
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Apr 7 2005, 03:24 AM
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#2
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 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
Wow...i dunno why more people didn't respond to this poem. I think you did a great job by the way..Simple yet full of such emotion. I really liked this part:
"The creaky swings are where she's found, The soft crying; the only sound," Nice :) I could of related to this whole poem in the past |
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Posts in this topic
Paradox of Life The Lonely Girl Apr 6 2005, 06:19 PM
Nicolatofu Wow, I love that this one rhymes. Very well done o... Apr 7 2005, 06:42 AM Paradox of Life Thanks. I'm glad I got positive feedback and t... Apr 7 2005, 03:52 PM stephinika nice wording i agree, very nice imagery too. it ju... Apr 8 2005, 11:46 AM islandgirl4eva You did really well on this poem. The rhyming sche... Apr 8 2005, 12:03 PM
x3__iGiVEup Nicely descriptive. Has an eerie touch to it. The ... Apr 10 2005, 05:17 PM |
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