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i need opinions, on something i wrote
derek_drums
post Mar 24 2005, 04:10 AM
Post #1


rockstar
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i wrote this, just now, kind of an explosions of feelings, let me know what you think

eating away from the inside
my walls are being torn down
a renivation of the soul
painful scars revealed
the front i put up daily
now becoming transparent
exposing the battle of
who i should be
who i professe to be
what i want to be
and who i am
all in a condradiction to eachother
a different story for each day
a quick fix here and there
a life fully of temporary happy
soon overshadowed by lifes daily downfalls
a fall of hope
a fall of faith
for i know where to grasp hold
to save myself and soul
but i dont hold on
i let my self go
falling into what appears to be another life
how i act depending on the time or situation
living to please, forgetting to please myself
pulled from reality into what i would like to call my fantasy
by the consequences are real
and there is far worse to come
unless i turn around
which as easy as it seems
come at a price far too high for me to bear
so i stay
stay in what some call hell, some call home
facing each day a personal trial
a lock on my emotional being
my soul struggles to breath the fresh air of a free life
of one i can shrug the shackles of the world ive created
to which it can easily grasp
but i wont let it
so all thsi saying
ive given birth to my destiny
but the truth calls clearly
the last question left upond my weary mind
a far from my dieing inspiration
do i answer it?
 
 
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Shattered_Hope
post Mar 24 2005, 11:18 AM
Post #2


...and this is me..
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you need to fix a few of your typos..but other than that, I think it's nice. thumbsup.gif
this should be moved to writing though... huh.gif
 

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