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funny nightmares
*Fallen_Fairy*
post Feb 12 2005, 08:19 AM
Post #1





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NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"
NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
 
 
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misoshiru
post Mar 24 2005, 09:01 AM
Post #2


yan lin♥
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Group: Staff Alumni
Posts: 14,129
Joined: Apr 2004
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hahahahahahh..the 2nd one was so wrong.
 

Posts in this topic
Fallen_Fairy   funny nightmares   Feb 12 2005, 08:19 AM
lilxroxy   LOL oh em gee. ahha. nice one[s] ( :   Feb 12 2005, 09:27 AM
sweetdreamsx3   The second one is soooo ewwww and I'm eating. ...   Feb 12 2005, 02:47 PM
oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo   I love them they are so funny I didnt get the 3edo...   Feb 12 2005, 02:53 PM
Spiritual Winged Aura   i like the first one, it's hilarouis and disgu...   Feb 12 2005, 03:58 PM
hosing   Third one was the best... Id love to meet that kin...   Feb 12 2005, 07:19 PM
azngrl7691   i already heard the first one i thought the third ...   Feb 12 2005, 08:13 PM
dani41790   rofl! the second one is completely wrong   Feb 12 2005, 08:33 PM
cocoalightning27   Lol these are funny   Feb 12 2005, 09:49 PM
lilphoenix   Whoa... Loved them all. QUOTE(hosing @ Feb 1...   Feb 12 2005, 10:30 PM
exbhai   Seriously funny stuff, second one was a bit... gro...   Feb 13 2005, 02:04 AM
jnukes   tha third was tha best .. tha 2nd was next best .....   Feb 13 2005, 04:13 AM
Wishful_Dream   whoa.. those are scary.. x.x   Feb 13 2005, 06:38 AM
SMUSHiENESS   0.0 ewww the 2st and 2nd ones are just, bleh... lo...   Feb 13 2005, 09:30 AM
lilxroxy   i told my guy friends..and it freaked them out   Feb 16 2005, 07:01 AM
pandamonium   ahha thats a great one lol i love all of them.   Feb 16 2005, 10:00 AM
swtchangel   ahahah hilarious ! i loved them all   Feb 16 2005, 06:19 PM
xbr0kensmil3   lmao the 3rd one's hilarious   Feb 16 2005, 07:04 PM
mai_z   Lmao i love the last one...how is that a nightmare...   Feb 16 2005, 09:21 PM
literemix24   lol. x] wow these are pretty funnie.   Feb 20 2005, 12:55 PM
archana   Haha. "You'll wake your mom" rofl. (...   Feb 20 2005, 09:23 PM
MiLKDUD_DOKiE   FUNNY<3 but the second one is weird o.O   Feb 20 2005, 10:24 PM
Shortiiex   LMFAO.....   Feb 21 2005, 08:24 PM
Fallen_Fairy   I'm glad ya'll liked them. I'll see if...   Feb 21 2005, 09:23 PM
Animelover113   hahahahaha! those are funny   Feb 21 2005, 11:30 PM
bab3egurl8o5   hahaa i liked the first 2 better but there all fun...   Mar 15 2005, 07:10 PM
gaby   Those are so funny. The second one is so gross. Th...   Mar 23 2005, 06:20 PM
salcha   aghhh those were seriously nightmares lol   Mar 24 2005, 12:27 AM
FoOd   Omigosh, those are all bad nightmares   Mar 24 2005, 12:37 AM
yanners   hahahahahahh..the 2nd one was so wrong.   Mar 24 2005, 09:01 AM
mzkandi   ok i had this crazy nightmare.... i just finished...   Mar 24 2005, 06:30 PM
Levy2k6   i heard them all but I really enjoyed the last one...   Mar 24 2005, 07:11 PM
WrathOfOnigo   The first one is funny. The second one is disturbi...   Mar 24 2005, 09:42 PM
tobeyum   hahaha.. the first one's the funniest   Mar 25 2005, 07:53 AM
hosing   I wouldnt mind the 3rd one... Dad sounds coolies t...   Mar 25 2005, 11:23 AM
swe3ttemptasian   hahah the 3rd one is the funniest!   Mar 25 2005, 01:00 PM
gponce10104   the second one was the worst   Mar 25 2005, 08:27 PM


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