disappointments Options

[xj_liana_tx]

my life is just full of disappointments, it's like some people (like god) is playing a joke on me. i try to be content and think positive, but it's just so hard to do, especially right now. two of the most important events of the year were yesterday and today. yesterday was our NFL(national forensics league) districts, and i've been looking forward to it ever since i found out about it. i've been practicing ever since and i started to pray for myself to go to nationals and to prove myself to others (especially my parents). I was at my rounds and i did my best, i thought that i would AT LEAST get into semi-finals. But when they posted the results for yesterday, i got eliminated right after the preliminary rounds... i just stood there in disbelief.. i mean.. i've made it to FINALS in EVERY SINGLE TOURNAMENT! And the people who usually didn't make the prelim made it to the next round while i was one of the few who got ELIMINATED. I mean.. i just stood there.. i was sweating and i felt like crying really bad, but i had to hold it. I just don't get it... the people in my rounds.. BROKE THE RULES of the event big time, and they were still in. it's just... so not fair (yes.. life is not fair blah blah blah)! So i went home, and i called my best friend, and i cried for a full hour till my phone was all wet and she was being supportive. I had to sleep in the dark by myself because my parents weren't back. The next morning, i got up and felt a little bit better, until... that is, my parents asked me about how it went. i told them and i started to cry again, and my parents were just being really unsympathetic. my dad was just going "Well you can't blame anyone except for yourself because i never saw you practice... see that's why i tell you to memorize the sat vocabs so you don't cry when you take the sats... you have really low emotional IQ, how can you cry at something like this? You can't take on anything.. how do you expect to be a leader if you cry over something so little?" and just things along these lines.. i mean, i started to cry more after it, because these are the LAST thing i need at the moment. and... little?? how can you call something little when i spent so much time working on and stressing about for the past 2 months? Something that i really want, i really want it that i am willing to sacrifice things for? So i also had my solo/ensemble festival (music competition) today, and i thought if i make it to state in that, i might feel better. I got there, and we played, i did my best, but my partners got some notes wrong, so i was praying for the judge to have mercy on us. then i got the result.. we got a 2 (the best score was 1, you need a 1 to go to state), and... suddenly, i just felt like crying again because .... the two things i really cared about just... they were gone... just like that... and now all i have is my homework and some tests coming up. i can't even concentrate.
i don't think that i've ever been so disappointed in my life.

well, that's my biggest disappointments..
what are yours?

[angel-roh]

Wow Jay that's so much pain and anger! Hm... your parents should've at least be so supportive on you, I mean you just lost your favorite sport. Not to be rude or anything, but that was very rude for your parents to say that. I mean you're trying your best, right? And heck ya you wanna do something other than studying all day! but don't worry, maybe next time, you'll do much better! Don't let the negatives let you down. Ignore your dad's words. Also going state is pretty hard. If your partner messed it up, that's the end. No more mercy of course. But hey, at least you're alive haha. I'm not saying going state is no biggie. Just saying that you still have more chances later in the future. I don't know if you believe in God. But God has plans for you.... so I think what you should do is wait and not blame it to God. Don't know if you are blaming to God. but if you are, just stop and wait.

Anyways... I did had one disappointment today. I was supposed to meet with my tutor and discuss about my homeworks and my schoolworks. But I told her that my dad will come and visit us until 2 nights. I should've just let her stay until my dad comes. I'm just so mad. So much anger is in my right. Regretful too... I just missed my 2 days of tutoring from my tutor, Mrs. Blair. I feel bad because she came all the way from her far house from me. Every time I think about it... it just gives me stress and stress... and makes me wana cry, thinking that I'll never get my school credits at all.

[xj_liana_tx]

Wow Jay that's so much pain and anger! Hm... your parents should've at least be so supportive on you, I mean you just lost your favorite sport. Not to be rude or anything, but that was very rude for your parents to say that. I mean you're trying your best, right? And heck ya you wanna do something other than studying all day! but don't worry, maybe next time, you'll do much better! Don't let the negatives let you down. Ignore your dad's words. Also going state is pretty hard. If your partner messed it up, that's the end. No more mercy of course. But hey, at least you're alive haha. I'm not saying going state is no biggie. Just saying that you still have more chances later in the future. I don't know if you believe in God. But God has plans for you.... so I think what you should do is wait and not blame it to God. Don't know if you are blaming to God. but if you are, just stop and wait.

that's what i tell myself, i am lucky to be alive. when i compare myself to the kids picking corn in africa, i get a little bit settled down, but still. and no, i don't believe in god, i don't know, i might... there aren't going to be many chances in the future, i've only got 3 more years, and i really wanted to make these two events as a freshman, and that would mean so much to me. well, i don't blame anything on god, i mean, i am not even sure if i believe in him, whatever i do, it's my fault or the judges' fault. well, everything's done, so i need to heal from it.

people say that disappointments/obstacles make you strong, but i don't think it's true, i think a lot of times, it goes the other way, because when you get really hurt by something, you will always remember it and always be hurt, in my case, it was just a huge confidence attack.