friends. Options

[ghjgfkgfk]

omigawd.
i hate my friends.
i swear to god, talking to them is like talking to, i dont know. i cant think of stupid, comman-sense lacking, naive noun right now. but whatever.

i never see them anymore at school [which is a good thing, btw]
so i told her on AIM that she doesn't know anything about my personilty [eww, spell check later] anymore and that she doesn't know me as mush as she wants.
[she totally wants me to be like this OMG IM SO HAPPY HAHAHAHAHA!!!!111 person all the time. ]
and she was just like. 'okay! i'm gonna learn abotu you today!!"
then she asked me whats my favourite color is. [because, you know, how important that is]
they don't get it.
i shouldnt even try letting her get to know me anymore.
friends suck.
[not literally because that would freak me out.]
i hate dealing with this because i can't like stop being friends with her. she writes f**king POEMS about me.
so i feel pressured to be the happy life long friend she wants me to be.
so i jsut lie to her.
it's easier than trying to explain myself.
and with her, i ALWAYS have to explain myself.

this doesnt make sense.

i hate my friends.
so this topic isn't totally pointless, why do your friends suck?

[pbear]

short version: because [and i know how cheesy this sounds] they don't understand me.

longer version: we had to do a poetry project for school and i finished early, so my friend asked to see it. i showed it to her and she remarked, "i never knew you were so romantic." that made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
there's so much that they don't know about me, so much bitterness and anger. and they don't understand when i lose control because something they've done reminds me of hurtful things that have happened to me. i wish i had the courage to tell them about everything, but i'm selfish and i want to keep that part of me private.