a disenchanting scene |
| *islandgirl4eva* |
 Mar 1 2005, 04:10 PM
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#1
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through my mind's eye
i do spy some gossipy girl fingers twisting their curls chatting away at people's follies from today through my mind's eye i do spy a group of vapid boys playing with their toys ruining some girl's name like it's nothing but a game through my mind's eye i do spy a student in the back feasting on a verbal snack she looks upon the scene looking sad, disgusted, mean through my mind's eye i do spy a girl with a pen an open mind and then i write what i see making pretty poetry |
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Mar 2 2005, 11:36 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 109 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,204 |
I like the whole idea of drawing out the entire scene around the narrator. And the scheme of the entire thing was put together really well. Hope you keep posting up your written work.
 looking forward to reading some more of your thoughts/ideas/whatever you wanna call em'.
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Posts in this topic
islandgirl4eva a disenchanting scene Mar 1 2005, 04:10 PM
racoons > you SO good... i love th esecond verse Mar 1 2005, 05:12 PM Teesa I loved that..especially that last verse. very nic... Mar 1 2005, 06:39 PM stephinika wow...i love the pattern/style you wrote it...flow... Mar 1 2005, 07:56 PM korbana05 hey!
wow i really like that... i can relate. ... Mar 2 2005, 12:23 AM islandgirl4eva Yeah, thanks. I tend to be very quiet in class. I... Mar 2 2005, 08:04 PM salcha like what stephinika said, i love the pattern
the ... Mar 4 2005, 03:29 AM Outloved I like this poem a lot. I like how you repeat the ... Mar 4 2005, 08:14 PM njgurl412 awsome poem Mar 4 2005, 09:02 PM MyVermilionPlague Great job, Naomi!
It flowed very well and it ... Mar 8 2005, 02:30 AM
KissMe2408 QUOTE(islandgirl4eva @ Mar 1 2005, 4:10 PM)th... Mar 8 2005, 04:01 AM |
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