Thesis, due tomorrow |
 Feb 24 2005, 06:09 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 5,585 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,082  |
"With peer pressure being so strong in schools these days, advice given to an individual would help that person become a stronger person. Teens go through peer pressure every day, and it influences their life, although they may not know it. Advice one might give to another is to assure them that in the end, everything is going to be alright. Peer pressure is all around us. It is like a journey filled with happiness, sorrow, and lessons learned. Things may not look up for you when you're feeling down, but it's not always going to end that way."
That's my introduction..My teacher said I needed a thesis. Help anyone? Thanks MUCH. |
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Feb 25 2005, 11:48 AM
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#2
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,746 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 52,931 |
eh, the intro paragraph seems a little disorganized; there doesn't seem to be a central idea.. the journey analogy especially confused the heck out of me. your thesis should be so distinct that anyone reading it would be able to point it out clearly.. it should be located toward the end of your intro paragraph. also, you should probably start out with a better opener.. an anecdote or quote.. and then relate it to your topic.
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Posts in this topic
sweetdreamsx3 Thesis Feb 24 2005, 06:09 PM
Spirited Away A thesis needs to introduce the points that you wi... Feb 24 2005, 06:59 PM
x_o QUOTE(uninspiredfae @ Feb 24 2005, 3:59 PM)A ... Feb 24 2005, 07:35 PM alli its a specific statement that sums up the hole pap... Feb 24 2005, 07:41 PM smilz2dasun well, what exactly are you trying to prove? like w... Feb 24 2005, 08:41 PM mzawesome ^^ wow u sound so smart ehehe didnt get anything y... Feb 26 2005, 04:41 AM sweetdreamsx3 You may close this. My essay was already submitted... Feb 26 2005, 05:21 PM Spirited Away Closed. Feb 26 2005, 06:12 PM |
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