just tell me Options

[Heathasm]

my problems...
-my parents are going through the longest divorce ever and are screaming stealing and hurting each other every day
-im having eating problems due to depression
-lately i've been sore all over for no reason...im thinking its due to stress and/or depression
-problems with people at work
-sleeping problems (aka i sleep more than 12 hours a day)

and now my bf..
-hes the greatest sweetest sexiest thing in the world and i love him alot
-hes horrible at comforting and just doesnt understand
-he doesnt know my bad side very well and i know ill never show it to him
-my parents wont let him near me in their presence

my bf takes away the pain, hes sort of a numb sollution that makes me forget about every thing that is going wrong with me right now
1. if i keep seeing him i feel like ill never be able to fix myself
2. i notice that my attitude and self lately are having and effect on him and i fear that ultimately i will end up hurting him more later and in a slow torturous way than i would if i broke it off now
3. basically i fake every thing im feeling when im around him, but i like doing it because it makes me feel good for some sick reason

if we stopped seeing each other i would be forced to confront every one of my problems and not use him as an escape and he could get over me and find some one who is happy and to make himself happy

and now...i need an outside opinion
do i need to break up with him as soon as possible?
i dont need advice on what else to do..this is how it is and i dont know what to sacrifice...but maybe i do..i need other people's opinions

[mistaken_identit...]

I think, and I hope this works. If you find it hard talk to him about your family and stuff, try find a way you can talk to him seriously. Start with something that will capture his attention..something like "Listen, this is important. I really need to talk to you about...."

Let him know all the family problems are affecting you and your relationship with him, but other than that you still love him.

Re: 'horrible at comforting'- well, not everyone can understand what other people go through, and most of them don't unless they really have been through it. So it'll be hard to do the comfort. I'm not trying to be on your bf's side but I think the best he could do is support and encourage you to be brave and hopefully to get through this asap.

I believe that when you're in a relationship, you guys are supposed to make each other happy, be true and support each other through hard times.

If he cannot do that, and he generally makes you feel 'not yourself' I don't think he's worth having you, because the only way you'll be happy is to be yourself, not faking and putting on a happy face when you feel upset.

Most times happiness is generated by yourself, not depended on other people, or what they do to you.

So basically, you can't depend on others to make ourself happy. As the post above said, a specific sport/hobby would 'distract' you from the depression, it would build up a lot of things and just generally a happier person. IMO, it all depends on yourself and how YOU think.

You know, I feel like shyt whenever I'm not surrounded by people, it's like the 'emptiness', so I get what you mean. But sometimes we've got to try and 'cheer ourselves up' too. Talk to a friend or something, tell them how you feel about your family. You will feel better if you let you feelings out to someone you trust.

[Heathasm]

  I think, and I hope this works. If you find it hard talk to him about your family and stuff, try find a way you can talk to him seriously. Start with something that will capture his attention..something like "Listen, this is important. I really need to talk to you about...."

man, i've already tried this, itll stay serious for maybe 2 minutes but then it just withers away and i feel dumb going on about it..it doesnt do any good

Re: 'horrible at comforting'- well, not everyone can understand what other people go through, and most of them don't unless they really have been through it. So it'll be hard to do the comfort. I'm not trying to be on your bf's side but I think the best he could do is support and encourage you to be brave and hopefully to get through this asap.

yeah, he cant understand because he come from a great supportive family...his dad is a preacher his mom is a nurse they love each other and they support all of their children with whatever they choose to do, i dont think hes ever had a hard time family-wise, i've asked him.

So basically, you can't depend on others to make ourself happy

yeah, thats exactly why i should break it off because im depending on him alot as it is

You know, I feel like shyt whenever I'm not surrounded by people, it's like the 'emptiness', so I get what you mean. But sometimes we've got to try and 'cheer ourselves up' too. Talk to a friend or something, tell them how you feel about your family. You will feel better if you let you feelings out to someone you trust.

i did this last night, and then i visited with her and some other friends we took pictures talked hung out, i feel alot better now but i still dont think i can comfront my boyfriend, lol :l
next week i predict ill be in the same mood i was when i started this thread