Is it friendship or something more? Options

[cuul_gurl]

well.....i know this guy for the past 3 years..when we first met, he used to flirt around...and then things started heating up..

We used to meet frequently in the Temple. At first, he hardly visited the temple, and only came there to pick up his mom. But his visits increased, and within 6 months of our first meeting, he visited the place almost every alternate day! He's very courteous to my parents and both our families know each other well.

He kept hinting that he likes me..but since I didn't know him, i decided to take it slow. I knew i was falling for him. After a year of our meeting, he got a job in another city and had to move out. At that time, about a month when he had been for the interview, he mailed frequently. The day before he left, he was like,"I dunno why i called,..i just felt like talking to u...can i see u today..?" I couldnt make it to the temple that day. When he returned to take his stuff, mom had called him for dinner,...and he said "u've failed the first iyengar test" when i served him dinner with my left hand...to me it was an indirect propsal. He kept mailing after he left for his new job.

Once i playfully asked him whether he had a girlfriend, and he said"i like these 2 girls from my office, but i don't know which one!" I was hurt badly...i knew i shudn't have opened the topic..I told him i met this guy from my college, whom i frequently saw in another temple, and he thought i was going around with the other guy. That did it...his mails were not very frequent, though i wrote to him. Sometimes, he never replied to my mails, saying he had too much work in office. I stopped mailing him...He mailed after a month asking why i haven't mailed...and that he wanted to hear from me...so i replied saying he didn't mail..so i had no reason to mail him!!..and he said...i told u to stop sending fwds not shut up!

If i ask him the reason for not mailing, he says he's too busy and has got nothing to say...and "y the hell r u getting so insecure?" Now he's shifted to my birthplace for a new job...but he hasn't mailed since. The only thing he said the other day when i met him online was.."i have a lot of work..chat with u later"
The point is..he wants me to mail him....to keep in touch. If i ask him why he doesn't mail, he just says he's too busy, and tells me not to get insecure..
Inspite of the hints and flirtations, we r not in any relationship right now..just friends...
What is his problem? What does he want from me? Does he have much more feelings than just friendship?

[xlaydee_v]

I think he has mixed feelings, but does, and most likely likes you back. Don't deny your feelings if you really do like him. Make the move. And since you don't really see him there's nothing much to lose, right? Maybe he wants to get close to you, but not too much? He might even be scared to like you even more than he does now. Just think it over.

[sweetest-emotion]

hmm tough. at first it looks like all the typical signs of flirtation that usually will lead to a relationship. when he mentioned about teh two girls in his office, that's totally a typical way a boy will make you jealous, but really, its a form of flirting. i suppose he was surprised that you mentioned about this guy from your college, and he freaked out, which can explain why he doesn't talk to you as frequently as before.
my advice is to not let him play you into waiting form him to figure out things. you need to figure out things. do you REALLY like him? enough to keep persuing him? if you do, then you NEED to talk to him. the key is communication. ask him to meet up with you somewhere and just talk to him casually. or if you're feeling bold, just tell him how you feel. if he declines, then its his loss and start looking for someone who DESERVES you.
at the present moment, it looks like he's just confused and thinking things through. the worst that can happen is you stay friends. it doesn't look like he completely likes you now, (but he probably did before) so keep talking to him and get him to like you the way he did in the beginning. good luck!

[aera]

What is his problem?

he doesnt know whether he likes you or not. and since you mentioned the guy from college, he doesnt know if he'll have a chance with you.


What does he want from me?

to keep in touch, obviously. and probably a definite "i like you."


Does he have much more feelings than just friendship?

he keeps hinting that he does. he flirted with you. you decide. maybe hes playing hard to get ><


it sounds like youre waiting for him to make the first move. i think you should ask him out for lunch or something and have a little chat. then straight out ask him why he hasnt sent any meaningful mails to you. if he has time to type "i have alot of work... chat with you later," then he should have at least ten more seconds to type something like"wanna have lunch?" or something.

[Ilaem]

Mixed feelings

DEFINATELY

[*incoherent*]

hes made the transistion because he thinks that you are falling for someone else when you think the same of him. its a complicated process. you just need to tell him that since he said he liked 2 girls from his office, you tried to get back and make him jealous by saying that and hopefully itll fix some voids.

[jue]

hmm. Maybe hes lieing about the two girls form his office. Maybe he jsut wants to see your reaction to what he says. Hmm; do yu think he's saying those stuff and not mialing to get your attention. It might also be mixed feelings.

[cuul_gurl]

thanks a million for ur replies...for taking ur time to read my blog...
yeah...i kinda told him abt the guy from college just to c his reaction...to get even with him about the girls in his office....the next time we happen to meet..i guess i will tell him..though this guy exists, i have no idea who he is.., coz i just spoke to him once out of curiosity!!
There's one more thing u should know...we r not commited in any way...no proposals from either side...bcoz ours is a kinda conservative society..so for the time being we r just friends...
thanks a million!!!

[cuul_gurl]

hey....more suggestions r welcome!!! I'd like to bring back the heat into our relationship..can u guys help??
Thanks!!

[ParanoidAndroid]

If he said he liked two girls from his office... that could've been metaphorical. or who knows, he's propbably hiding his feelings for you. He's just confused man!