Acting his age |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
 Aug 13 2005, 03:13 AM
Post
#1
|
|
 Rock Music Enthusiast  Group: Member Posts: 430 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 160,803  |
A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really great about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker, the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh you look about 29." "I am actually 47!" This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later the old lady says. "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was in line behind you at McDonalds." |
|
|
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 20)
|
Aug 13 2005, 01:16 PM
Post
#2
|
|
 GREEENROCKS Group: Member Posts: 1,393 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,624 |
lol, naughty old lady..eww
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 13 2005, 05:23 PM
Post
#3
|
|
 A.K.A. Simplicityxx Group: Member Posts: 1,878 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,813 |
What a trickster.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 13 2005, 05:35 PM
Post
#4
|
|
 My name is Mimi Group: Member Posts: 48 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 201,525 |
Why would an old lady..
 ..okay that's just creepy.  but it was funny how she was behind him.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 14 2005, 11:18 AM
Post
#5
|
|
 The Noob Group: Member Posts: 575 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 169,647 |
 rofl that lady is sick
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 15 2005, 05:13 PM
Post
#6
|
|
 LOok at the ROse, NOt thiS! Group: Member Posts: 40 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 201,015 |
loL EWw ;p
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 15 2005, 08:52 PM
Post
#7
|
|
 sunshiine Group: Member Posts: 1,080 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,360 |
ewww bad lady. bad old lady. but lolz.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 16 2005, 05:31 PM
Post
#8
|
|
 *scribble scribble* Group: Member Posts: 1,314 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 119,610 |
some old lady is thinking dirty thoughts.
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 16 2005, 05:59 PM
Post
#9
|
|
 i'm such a sucker sometimes. Group: Member Posts: 441 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 151,732 |
Tsk, tsk. Such a naughty old lady.
|
|
|
|
| *iNyCxShoRT* |
Aug 16 2005, 07:23 PM
Post
#10
|
|
Guest |
yuck, the guy was ripped off -.-
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 16 2005, 07:27 PM
Post
#11
|
|
 Diana =] Group: Member Posts: 1,318 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 174,147 |
lmao what a nasty bastard
|
|
|
|
|
Aug 16 2005, 07:57 PM
Post
#12
|
|
 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA. That was great.
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 22 2005, 08:33 PM
Post
#13
|
|
 Kermit the frog = <3 Group: Member Posts: 2,315 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,215 |
LOL. that was hilarious
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 26 2005, 06:15 PM
Post
#14
|
|
 Residential Crazy Child Group: Member Posts: 934 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 116,897 |
Lmao-theres a grandma joke like this.
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 26 2005, 06:40 PM
Post
#15
|
|
 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
snicky
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 26 2005, 06:42 PM
Post
#16
|
|
 No Day But Today. Group: Member Posts: 1,405 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 99,184 |
HAHA, that's gross.
Dirty old lady 
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 27 2005, 02:47 AM
Post
#17
|
|
 boo Group: Member Posts: 5,512 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 71,765 |
That lady is smart. =D
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 27 2005, 06:02 PM
Post
#18
|
|
 ladybugs are hot <3 Group: Member Posts: 1,169 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,802 |
i heard this one before =) but its funnay
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 31 2005, 06:20 PM
Post
#19
|
|
 _cool girl Group: Member Posts: 39 Joined: Oct 2005 Member No: 281,166 |
ew.......very funny but nonsense....
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 31 2005, 07:19 PM
Post
#20
|
|
 wut wut in the butt? Group: Human Posts: 2,108 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 227,723 |
rofl watta idiot
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 29 2005, 09:47 AM
Post
#21
|
|
 because i'm worth it Group: Member Posts: 990 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,643 |
sneaky.. o__o;
|
|
|
|
 |
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: