Dad, scares me so much Options

[[x]Mari[x]]

I don't know if this is in the right place, I just don't really know what to do when this happens, and I searched, but found nothing that answered my question.

Here goes...

My dad and my mom have been fighting for as long as I can remember... my earliest memory was of my sister and me confronting them when I was about four... I know it sounds like a normal case of fighting parents, but it has really bad points to it.

I heard from my sister (she's now 24... I'm 13.) that she went through alot before I was born, and that I shouldn't be complaining, because my dad always used to get arrested when she was little. But I think my situation is worse, she just doesn't realize it.

The first time my Dad went all-out crazy was in the morning, when he and my mom were arguing about something stupid- like the way the pancakes looked or something idiotic like that. He drove my mom to the edge and she laughed like crazy when she just hit him in the face (not hard) with a green scrubby. He got really mad- and he slapped her.

I thought that was the end of it, because my mom told me that after she got her surgery on her knees done, she would divorce my dad.

But just yesterday, in the car, my Dad got into a fight on the road with some guy who was pissed that my Dad was driving so fast that he stopped suddenly and almost made us have a wreck- most of the fight was my fathers' fault, but my Mom just freaked out so much that my Dad went nuts again and nearly slapped her on the arm, yelling about how she was stupid for sitting in her seat, yelling about how to stop.

My mom was so mad, we were going to leave, but I was scared that my Dad would do something crazy if he got mad, so we stayed.

After that, I felt very scared that something was going to happen, and I was stuck trying to make a hard choice...

- I could stay at home, scared to death.
- I could leave with my mom, risking my dad getting mad and doing something outrageous.
- I could call my sister and beg her to come over, risking her yelling at my Dad and making things worse.
- I could go over to my best friends' house, who lives right behind me, and stay there until I felt it was safe, leaving my parents alone together.

I ended up staying there, but I was so freaked out until my Dad left and came back hours later.

I'm nervous about posting this on the internet, because I don't want people to find out and report us or something, and I guess I just needed to rant, but just in case this happens again:

Which option should I do, even with the risks? And do you have any other suggestions that could help me if a problem like this comes up again?

[datass]

-> relationships

i think you should go to ur friends house and ask for advices. and stay there for now.

[KELLYYY]

I agree with the person above me.

I definitely think you should stay at your friend's house.

[toodlepops.]

--> relationships. Yeah

I don't think any of your options are safe enough. I think you should go to your grandparents house or your closest and nearest relatives.
Other than that, just avoid your dad and just stay with your mom.

[YourSuperior]

I agree too, I think you should stay at your friends house too.

[[x]Mari[x]]

--> relationships. Yeah

I don't think any of your options are safe enough. I think you should go to your grandparents house or your closest and nearest relatives.
Other than that, just avoid your dad and just stay with your mom.

My grandma... yeah, that's a good idea. But I don't think any of my family but my sister knows about all of this stuff.

[toodlepops.]

Well, iono. Maybe it's a good time to tell them. It's about your safety, anyway.
But if you don't wanna tell her, just tell her you're gonna hang around for a while.

Good Luck!

[Teesa]

Staying with your friend is the best option right now. You need to be at the place where you feel safest, and right now, that is the best place. Talk to your mom when your dad isn't around, if that's possible. You really need to tell her how you feel and ask her how she is doing. Call your sister, but don't beg her to go over there. Just talk to her, it will make you feel better. Trust me. When my parents fight, I always call my brother.
If you need someone to talk to, IM me or PM me. I will be more than happy to talk to you.

[*salcha*]

Woah, yeah. My parents used to never get along, they fought so much when I was a kid. Eventually, my mom learned to just not bother my dad or whatever, so things are better now. I think you should confront them...they've been fighting for quite a hwile..

[yukichan]

hmm..
my parents have arguements often too..so i kind of get what its like..i think both u and your mom should go to ur friend's house..because if u leave ur mom with ur dad, and ur dad gets really mad and hurts ur mom, and u arent there, she could get seriously hurt..whatever u do, u and ur mom should get away from him, even if its for a short period of time..or at least till he calms down..
if u want to talk, feel free to PM me or IM me..
I hope things work out between your parents..

[elmogurly]

he sounds scary. i wouldn't leave your mom with your dad, but i think the best thing to do is get the heck out of there..

[datass]

I agree with the person above me.

I definitely think you should stay at your friend's house.

haha i have a name - julia

You shouldn't ask your sister to come because that might provoke your dad.

[xchrystizzle]

i`ve been in the same situation, well with erm my "ex" stepdad? anyways he would kick my mom and crap plus we had my baby sister who was a few months old. i think both you and your mom should go to your friends house, and maybe leave a note asking him to calm down and its really hurting you...=/ when it was in my situation, my mom, my sis, and i would just go to a motel or friends house for a night or two. so stay there for a while...

but i know how you feel-if you dont want to ask your mom for both of you to go to your friends house cuz it might provoke your dad, just go to your friends house alone & try to contact your grandparents...

& like everyones saying, you can just pm or im me if you wanna talk to someone else...i think you're really brave to post this, even if its online! i really wanted to let someone know, like the guidance councler(sp?) at school, but for some reason i couldnt now i feel like if i had told someone else about it then it would have spared my mom some pain......

[Mr. Slowjamz]

yea fromm alll of that i think its better off that you go out and talk to someone ........i much advise you to talk to someone who is feasible enough to talk to too and that knows your dad really close maybe close relative aunt or uncle ....either way ......ask your sister to set up an appointment with a pshycologist .....or social worker .

...if your strong enough ..you can try to talk to your dad when hes in a good mood .....hopefully he doesnt get angry easily ....but thats just me .. soo stick to the first

[toodlepops.]

My dad has threatened to kill my mom, and all of us before.

whoa.
[/end spam]

I can't believe this is still in the lounge.

[laur3nw]

Why don't you call the police or something? Obviously not in front of him though.

[sw33t_rouge]

WATEVER U DO DONT LEAVE UR PARENTS TOGETHER ALONE.

[ComradeRed]

Call in the Government. That's what it's there for.

[technicolour]

^ Dude.

Tell someone about it, and stay away.

[coconutter]

I would go to the friends house. I agree. It's much safer there. Your parents are better by themselves. Less to fight about. Go to your friends house, and don't worry, and have a fun time and clear your mind. It can relieve stress levels, and it could possibly help your parents too.

[SMiLEEFORMEE]

i dont know if going to a friend is the best thing. you need another adult you really trust. and talk to them. whether it's family or a family friend

[[x]Mari[x]]

Thanks for most of the options... there's a few things I need to clear up, though.

- My dad DOES get angry easily, over little things, too, like whether I ate breakfast or not, even though I don't like eating breakfast. <.< There are stupider things, but... anyway.
- My friends' mom does get along with mine, but they're not SUPER BEST FRIENDS, so I'm not sure how that would work out if my mom came with me just to be there. :/
- Calling the police seems too extreme.
- My dad doesn't really have any close friends other than the people he meets at the bar, and his BEST friend gets along with us ALL... he could help, but he lives in Spain.

[AnnahhbeL]

my dad is a lot like your's. i agree with everyone else that you should stay at your friends for a while untill your parents are done with the arguement.

[CrazayChristian]

Check the internet for any "help lines" Professional people (even though I would deny it) can help more than I can.

My advice would obviously to get the Law on his Ass, he is a threat and you can easily get a restraining order on him at least. I think your mom doesn't want to do anything because she's scared your dad will do something (I belive you said). In which case, that means the law needs to help out, or a higher power.(Grandparents? I mean, what better way to get parents than with parents?)

Higher authority!

(But I HIGHLY suggest a help line, check the internet, there are tons)

[EriaNight]

I agree too, I think you should stay at your friends house too.

Yeah. That's kind of what I would do. I tried to leave my house as much as possible when my parents fought...

My ex-step-dad kind of put my mom in jail because he was trying to find an excuse to take our house away from us before the divorce....He told the police she was drunk one time...but My mom had called the police because she was scared of my dad.

I definitely suggest staying with a friend or with maybe your grandparents (on your mom's side) if you have them because my grandmother would always let me stay with her. Or maybe you and your mom could go stay with a family friend and then you guys could all talk it out and decide what to do??

Does that help?? I know it helped me a lot. All my friends were there for me and telling me I could come anytime if it got bad.

[DullStringedGuit...]

Call in the Government. That's what it's there for.

if that was meant to be funny it wasnt...

any way like lots other ppl sed u should go tell somone

[[x]Mari[x]]

I definitely suggest staying with a friend or with maybe your grandparents (on your mom's side) if you have them because my grandmother would always let me stay with her.

I don't have any grandparents on my moms side... I only have a grandmother on my dads side, and that's it.

Plus, my moms family friends are... really... willing to kick the crap out of my dad, so I'm not sure that's a good idea.

[dragyn]

Call a hotline from your friends house.

You don't necessarily have to report your father, but if you call a hotline, and talk to them, then they already have all sorts of solutions ready, because they've talked to people with problems like yours before. Even if you don't want to turn your father in for abuse or anything like that, it's good to talk to someone who knows what you can do.