Losing one of my best friends., the unwillingness to forgive. Options

[ichiban]

It feels like I've just lost one of my best friends. I know he's really mad. But what could I have done? Here's the story, it's long, please read & help &/or pray. It'll mean the world to me.

Let's introduce them first. Names are changed.
There's the friend I think I've lost - Mark.
My other best friend - Kim
Other best friend - Seth
Out of everyone, I've known Mark the longest. Then I met Kim and Seth, and they became my best friends. We were all introduced to each other and eventually we sort of became the four musketeers? i guess that's a way to put it. the four of us literally did everything together. we hung out at school all the time and on weekends. But there was always conflict between Kim and Mark. I didn't exactly know why but they were sort of mean to each other. They'd slap and kick each other and call each other names and argue. I thought it was just jokes. Like they were just fooling around and it wasn't important. I never worried. But then, things got worse. They got into bigger fights and then one day Kim felt that she hated Mark. I know her well, and I know that if she hates someone, she'll hate them a lot. I can't exactly blame her, Mark was never very nice to her. I've tried making Mark treat her better, but he doesn't listen. Soon, Kim didn't even want to hang around Mark anymore. She didn't want to see him, listen to him, be around him, or anything. Mark never took it seriously, he didn't realize she was mad at him. I was just lost, I didn't know what to do. I knew that the four of us couldn't hang out together again, or at least until Kim decided she didn't hate Mark anymore. I still have no idea when that'll be, maybe forever.

A few nights ago we were planning on going to the harry potter party at a bookstore. At first Kim and I decided we wanted to go, just us. Then I told Mark I was going out of excitement, and then he wanted to go. When Kim found out, she told me she didn't want to go anymore, and I knew that the event was pretty important to her. I really didn't like the influence Mark had on her, but what could I have done? Well anyway, Kim told Seth about it and then he wanted to go. So Kim, Seth, and I were going to go. What about Mark? I really wanted Mark to go, I mean he's still my best friend and everything. But I didn't want Kim to have a bad night. I wanted her to have a good time too. So then Mark apologized to Kim for treating her like crap and everything. Kim thought that he was only apologizing because he wanted to go to the party. I mean, I thought so too, and so did Seth. Mark says it wasn't because of that, but it wasn't like I could convince Kim. But I guess for a while, maybe a few minutes, Kim wanted to forgive Mark. I don't know, but I had really hoped Kim would forgive Mark and Mark would really start acting better and we'd all be friends again. Didn't happen. Mark kept asking Kim about whether she forgived him or not, but I guess she eventually got annoyed and decided she wasn't going to forgive Mark and he only wanted to go to the party. Soon Mark got mad at Kim and he didn't feel sorry anymore. I knew that Mark really wanted to go, he seemed so excited by the sound of it. I was the one that was going to pick up Kim and Seth and take them to the bookstore. Mark told me to pick him up anyway, and he didn't care what Kim thought. But I didn't want Kim to get mad at me and have a horrible time. I didn't know what to do, at all. Pick up Mark and piss Kim off? Ditch Mark so Kim wouldn't get totally mad?

I ended up ditching Mark. I sort of didn't think he'd care too much because he doesn't take too many things seriously. So anyway, I went with Kim & Seth and had a good time. And when I came home, I got an instant message from Mark. He was typing in CAPS and was staying stuff like, "fine, just leave me. im just going to go to a party at Wendy's [wendy is this popular slutty girl that has had a crush on mark for around six months, but Kim, Seth, and I don't like her .. long story]. i don't need any of you. you suck."

Yeah. I know he's really mad at me. And I keep thinking that one day Mark just might ditch us permanently to go hang out with Wendy and all those popular kids. I'm scared that it'll go on like this forever. The fact that Kim, Mark, Seth, and I can't hang out together anymore without someone getting mad. The fact that we can't do anything together without leaving either Kim or Mark out. I can just see this friendship falling apart, and these are the best friends I've ever had in my life.

I just wish Kim could forgive Mark ... and Mark would be a whole lot nicer to her. I don't want to lose any of them as friends and sometimes this whole situation just frustrates me to a point where I want to trash a room and explode and etc.

Wow, that was long. I feel really sad now. I need someone to talk to but I don't know who. Maybe you? Hah, just kidding. Unless you want to. Lol, but um. Yeah.

What now?

[Latina Babii]

Wow I had the same problem, but I don't know, I let it work out, but, I wouldn't have ditched him, not when I told him he could go. Try asking them WHY they hate each other and if they have good reason, then find times to hang out with them seperatly. I hope that helped

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

Well for the whole party thing, I would have been just like f**k it you don't wanna make up I'm not going. Now, I think that you should talk to Mark because if he was your best friend he would be the most hurt out of this. The other two you haven't known as long so if you ditched them it might not have made a big impact. You should just go talk to him and if you feel guilty apologize? You could also try bringing them all to a closet and locking them in there until they are resolved :-)

[di3m sum x3]

your situation sucks...but you have to understand that friends/ people fall apart. No matter what you may do, most of the time, things fall apart for a reason. YOu just gotta move on. Sometimes trying to fix the problem makes it worst, maybe end up losing 2 friends instead of 1. I mean...give it time. Like have a party. If they were your friends..they would show up despite who's there. Tell them that it would mean a lot if they were there. Maybe then at the party, they will remember the good time and be friends again. But otherwise...people fall apart. THe longer you know them, the more they begin to annoy you. Seriously, like the one saying "you don't know a person until you've lived with them", the more you know them, the more you'll hate them. sorry for the long reply....I hope it helps.?? hahaha.. I kinda side tracked.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

wow, sorry about that situation.
you should get kim & mark together in a room maybe with seth along and just talk it all out. and if kim and mark are both too stubborn to say anything, keep them there for as long as you have to. ive done this before. facing the problem ..face to face should really help. just ask that they keep their feelings inside and just be nice to eachother. eventually they will start to let some of the hatred and remorse go and kims animosity towards mark should lessen.

but it sounds to me like kim is stubborn and is just ruining everything with her headstrong attitude. no matter what you do, if it doesnt work out. dont stop hanging out with either of them. you should still hang out with mark and kim equally. and if it comes down to choosing, dont. just stay being friends with both.

but its up to you what you do.

[ichiban]

I wish I could get Kim & Mark in a room together so they could just talk, but Kim is pretty stubborn about this situation and I highly doubt I could get her to even look at Mark. I mean she talks trash about Mark every day.

Well they dont exactly hate each other, because its mostly Kim doing the hating and Marks just sort of confused and isnt thinking too much about it. kim doesnt like mark because she thinks that he takes advantage of her (well, he asks her to do his homework once or twice) and at the same time treats her like crap..

ehh well. i wish i didnt ditch mark but it wasnt exactly like i could take him along with KIM there.. and if i dropped out of going to the party kim & seth would have been really upset because i was supposed to be giving them rides to the party..

[elaboratedream]

I wish I could get Kim & Mark in a room together so they could just talk, but Kim is pretty stubborn about this situation

Don't tell Kim and Mark they're gonna be in the same room as each other. Invite them both over or something and make them talk. Tell them how you feel. (where's sprinkle the stars for communication? lol)

as for the party, I would have just taken Seth if Mark and Kim wouldn't both come. You shouldn't have just ditched Mark... If anything you should have taken Mark instead of Kim because it was Kim who was being stupid about it... but it's too late to change that, so focus on trying to get them to at least tollerate each other... and if that fails, hang out with both of them equally.

[kpx_danny]

just 4get about it and move on... i noe its hard but trust me.. ull laugh after a few weeks