relationship with my dad, :[ :[ Options

[Mizz Rizza]

I don't have a very close relationship with my dad. The thing is, my parents are divorced but still live in the same house. yeah it's weird but thats jus how it is. but newayz, i feel so much closer to my mom then my dad. i dont remember a time when i said "i love you" to him. if you're wondering why this is, it's prolly because when we used to live in the phillipines (i was like very little) i still remember when he used to treat me badly...and the way he treated my mom wasnt very good either...and the rest of my family such as brother and sisters...but never once has he said sorry for all the things he's done...i know that it's wrong that he hasnt said sorry or whatever but i really do just wanna put the past behind us....i dont wanna give you a story of my life...i guess it just breaks my heart knowing that i dont feel like a hav a dad...it's hard for me to talk to him about it...to talk about wat happened in the past...but it also makes me sad knowing that my bros and sis dont like him either...even though i know they try to make the effort to just put the past behind them...i guess i know that he feels all alone and he barely ever gets to spend time with me and my brothers and sisters...i know that you guys will say for me to talk to him...but it's just really hard for me to...and i know it's hard for him to talk to us too....so i guess i really dont know wat to do...



i dont want you guys to say im stupid for posting this and jus tell me to talk to him
i really jus dont need that rite now
so if ur gonna say something mean like that
i'd jus rather you not say anything at all

[topsyturvy]

Agree with her ^.

Although just because Father's Day, Xmas, and his birthday (?) passed already, that doesn't mean you can't surprise him anyway. Cook dinner for him one night. Ask him to go grocery shopping together. Something of the sort. And you don't have to talk. Sometimes mutual understandings are formed with just a single glance.

Sorry if that was crappy advice.

[Mizz Rizza]

no it wasnt thanks you guys so much but wat other things could i do besides that?

[toodlepops.]

Just walk up to him and give him a hug. I'm sure he'll really appreciate that.
Good luck!

[mai_z]

Take the first step, and try and slowly show him how you feel, and how you want to move on in your lives, and put the past in the past. You dont have to do it all at once. Baby steps is good, but if neither of you has the initiative to do anything with this, it'll be a pretty cold relationship forever.

[this__love]

^^ you have the same name as my friend called Rizza =)

she's phillipines too ^^ i'm not really sure how to help you, but if your dad has treated you bad.. then you are really sweet to care if he's lonely or not..

i've never said 'i love you' to my dad either. ><;; and i'm closer to my mom too ^^

so yes.. ><;; i guess, you should just let nature take its course? by doing nothing at all until you are comfortable in talking with him?

im not quite sure.. =S but yeah.. o_o; if you really dont wanna talk to him.. how about give him a hug? ^^

[lAzN YiN YanGl]

^^ Haha my friend is also named Rizza from the phillipines! She's sooo cool...but that's not part of the topic.

I have the same relationship with my dad except that my parents did not divorce and we stil live together. When I was younger, he always got upset over the stupidest things and always would hurt me or my brother or my mom and he has stopped but I still can't and refuse to talk to him. At times I try to communicate with him, but I can't bring myself up to talk to him because I just remember every little thing that he has done to humiliate me and just make me feel the way I do now. That didn't help much did it...Maybe you should try doing something you both like?

[PinkTrash]

i've never said i love you to any man before =/ let alone my dadd..

wow i feel bad for your situation but you should do something out of the ordinary, maybe something you dont usually do to surprise him & let him know that you still care that he's your dad. something like.. the birthday thingg but maybe more of an every day thing. like, saying goodnight, see you the next morning? or just simple things you might not always say.

[ichiban]

yeahh, i sort of get what you mean .. well. kind of. my dad treats me really nicely and everything but im jsut not close to him .. i cant seem to talk to him about anything, really. the last time i said i love you to him was when i was like .. six.

i guess what you can do is find your dad when hes alone, and maybe ask him how was his day. say goodnight, good morning, goodbye, see you tomorrow, those kind of things. smile when you see him, ask if he wants to do something on the weekend, surprise him with little gifts, give him a hug when he looks down. just the little things. hope it all works out for you

[A Dreamer in VA]

Well here is my 2 cent on this subject ....before you start throwing him a party set him down and have a heart to heart chat with him and let him know how his actions have hurt you.....I feel somethings are best gotten off your chest.....and he is not innocent in not trying to develop a relationship with you.....but also he may have issues that he may need to be made to face which may have caused him to behave the way he has but that does not excuse his behavior..... and then you two can decide if the both of you would like to persue a respectful, loving and healthy relationship with one another.....it takes two to make this happen so why not give it your best shot and hopefully he will also.....Good Luck Hon.....ok Dana getting off her soapbox now.

[enyceXaddiction]

Take the first step, and try and slowly show him how you feel, and how you want to move on in your lives, and put the past in the past. You dont have to do it all at once. Baby steps is good, but if neither of you has the initiative to do anything with this, it'll be a pretty cold relationship forever.

^took the words right out of my mouth

[heyitzmy]

take your time on this situation. im sure your dad knows what he has done wrong to you and your family. just like others said..give him a hug and start to slowly talk to him about whats on your mind. resolve the situation..afterall he is your dad. goodluck and like stated before...take your time on this!

[xldubaliciousx]

This is a tough situation.. Especially because he's RIGHT there and yet you can't really do anything. I mean me and my dad aren't close either..He's never done anything bad but I always found it hard to open up to him. Well first.. Does your mom have resentment(sp?) towards him? If not maybe she can help you with this situation.. And how about your siblings? Maybe you guys could make a team effort to do something. I hope that made sense..

[HoodieObsessed]

Just walk up to him and give him a hug. I'm sure he'll really appreciate that.
Good luck!

I agree with that. It may sound like weird advice, but a hug can mean the world to someone.

Once when we were all at my grandmas house we were about to leave and my cousin walked up to my grandma and gave her a big hug (he's 16), I thought it was kinda strange at the time cause tha'ts not very normal behaviour for us but I wen tto her house a week later by myself, and she said that was the sweetest thing that's happened to her in years

...I felt bad after that cause I didn't hug her but I'm too wussy to do this like that, I'm not spontanious enough maybe someday I'll have the guts

[pinayprincess]

[my family is from the philippines to]... wow.. usually people there is all nice.. he sounds like my grandpa.. the way he would treat my mom.. [from what my mom tells me]... she said that they didnt get along that well but he was always THERE for her in the end... all she did was so appriciation... i guess thats all you can do

[lilJdawg]

We're in the same situation. My parents are divorced too 'cept they don't live together since they hate eachother's guts. I also have a really hard relationship with my dad. We can never talk without getting into an arugment. Everytime, I talk to him on the phone, I would always end up crying. He treated the whole family, wife, & children bad. I haven't done anything yet but try to understand him a little better & give him time to get over himself. I guess you juhs gotta' wait & try to chill with him. It's hard I know. Sometimes, when him & I are talking about some deep shit. I really want to cry. I do feel sorry for him & I really want him to change how he is right now 'bcuhs mostly all of my mom's side hates him. If you love someone, you'll change for them. But he didn't. He went through a rough & tough childhood, his mom supposdly got murder by the maid & his father married the maid. So he had a step-mom & a fckd' up life.