competing with others, for YOUR gf/bf's attention Options

[SpedMonkee]

have you ever felt like you are competing with others over ur bf/gf's attention?

i have been going out with my gf for about 5 months and it seems like i am competing with someone else for her attention, and its not just anyone.. its her "ex". her and him are still "friends" and she is always over his place. she never comes over mine, i know its boring and what not, but still... she cant go outside anywhere with him because he is like 26 and she is 16, which is another big issue for me... ive also never been over there with her when she goes, partly for personal reasons, besides the fact i dont like him, mostly because he is her "ex"..

when she had come back from going away for a weekend, before she came to see me, she was over his house... ive talked to her about the amount of time she spends with him compared to me. one of the most recent things she said when i brough up about how i had barely seen her or spent time with her in 2 weeks she said "its not like we have to spend every waking moment together".

she says that she just goes over there and plays videos games, watches tv, and does music (because she does beats and he raps blah blah). i dont know if this is making any sense to anyone, but i needed to rable on a bit and hopefully get some advice on this..

[technicolour]

I'm competing with his girlfriend to get his attention. We had liked eachother all year but he said he wanted to stay with her and that he still likes me though. [his gf is the "steal-my-bf-i-gunna-kick-yo'-ass-bitch type of gal] and she doesn't really like me..so..im fighting but..i can handle it.

[Skyline Drive]

Don't you see anything fishy with their friendship? I'm not even buying that whole deal. She should want to spend more time with YOU. You shouldn't have to compete for her attention.

What about this ex boyfriend.. he needs "friends" his own age. I don't know what's up with that. Did they only hang out at his place the entire time they went out because of the age difference ? It just doesn't click. If they did go out to places when they were bf & gf then why can't they do it now as friends.. especially now because they ARE friends.

[ladystarr]

How do u feel about this girl...do u love her? I don't think she's worth it. The guy who is 26 should be with girls his age. It seems like more than just hanging out. What would a guy his age want with a 16 yr old girl besides just playing video games, etc...? But thats just my suspicion....I think you should find a girl who LOVES being with u!

[Shahin]

Dump her. Dump her now.

[topsyturvy]

^ Agreed. Come on now, if she's your gf, there should be no reason she should (want to) spend more time with her ex if she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. Free yourself before it's too late

[mouse_3k]

yah...I always just confront him about it because hes always talkin to my other girlfriends when im there. Like hes ignoring me so I just tell him in his face.

If he was ignoring me for another girl tht he just met and aint my friend then Id kick her ass...tht would give him the hint

[SpedMonkee]

let me clear this up just a little bit. im not totally competing with him, its just that i feel she spends more time over there than she does with me. i mean, hell she has only been over to my house like 3 times...

[_sarcastic_]

tell her that. maybe you should just dump her like what shahin said. you don't know what goes on in that house. tell her you want to spend more time at her house and that you feel like you don't feel very good when she spends so much time at his house

[SpedMonkee]

lol, weve been through that before too. she then calls me "mr. jealousy" and says why should i be jealous?
i mean after all, he is older, she hangs over there all the time, she hides it from everyone but me, he is her "ex", he was the first person she had sex with, they seem to have more things in common, etc...
heh.. why should i be worried or jealous? [/end sarcasm]

[silver-rain]

If she would rather be with him than you, then she's not worth it. She's your girlfriend, she should spend time with you. And like everyone's said, he needs friends his own age. Really, what would a 26 year old man want with a 16 year old girl? And the fact that they've had sex too... You really should talk to her about this some more and tell her how you're feeling. And if she still spends more time with him, dump her.

[pinayprincess]

i hate when that happens... my ex,ex did that to me... he tried to get my attention by going out with this girl HE KNEW i didnt like [b/c the girl would always flirt with him]... it turned out that he only went with her to get me back, to get my attention of him wanting me back... at the time, i already had a new bf [he got mad]

[sheepy]

wow.. she seems pretty.. shallow. i dont think she's worth it i mean she's not even spending a lot of time with you. you guys should have a serious talk.

[Paradox of Life]

This girl is 16 and she used to go out with someone 26!? That man could easily take advantage of her, but that's not the point. It's none of your business what they're doing together, but if she would rahter spend time with this other man, it's not a real relationship. If you have to compete with someone else, that means she doesn't care for you enough to want to hang out. Instead of saying sorry and offering you some time with her, she's trying to justify her actions and say she doesn't have to spend "every waking moment" with you.

So dump her as hard as it may seem. She's not worth your time.

[enyceXaddiction]

i always compete..its just how i am.

[SpedMonkee]

i told her how i felt and then she broke up with me because she couldnt take it anymore, but why does it feel like i was wrong. that i overreacted, and that i am such an idiot? now all i want is to be able to take back everything i said, and just be with her, but i cant do that anymore..

[xFaith]

I agree with AkaRyux on this one. dump her

EDIT; didnt see your last post
Wow, what a ####!! she just turns around your words, to make it look like YOU were wrong! thats so sad. you didnt overreacted or something, she just can take it that someone will dump her, just the idea shes dumped gives her the creeps i think.
I think it was very good of you to tell her how you felt, if she cant 'take it', thats bullshit.
Dont spend time anymore on her.. shes not worth your time, you can do much better.

[silver-rain]

Like xFaith said, she just twisted what you were saying around and making you feel guilty. But I don't think you overreacted here. You were justified in your feelings. I agree, she's not worth your time.

[xldubaliciousx]

This girl wasn't worth it. There are other fishes in the sea kiddo.

[LittleLulu]

o0o0o i think thats pretty weird

but if you really love her..you shouldn't just give up. =) ( LIKE THE WISE MR.FONG SAID lmao)

uhh..competing for his attention...i guess..but i call him like everyday n stuff..n since he doesn't have an ex..it just makes life so much easier doesnt it ? =)

[azn cutey chique]

WOW! you mean that guy is an old cow, w00t!! 26 years old, uhmmm.. that's child abuse, LMAO :-D

[SpedMonkee]

actually its statutory rape.. which is why she hid it from everyone else

[heyitzmy]

man she's not worth it. you did the right thing by telling her what was on your mind. there are so many other girls out there. you shouldn't waste your time on someone like that. bc by her going to her x bf's house all the time and not going to yours but three times...its not right. she should've gave you her full attention and not her xbf. chin up man..you'll find someone way better!!

[SpedMonkee]

thats what i keep telling myself too, but she was the only one who actually ever seemed interested in me..

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

yes and its annoying, cos i feel inadequit to the person hes paying attention to, but only for a little im a really jealous person but nobody knows that. i just keep my jealous thoughts to myself cos i hate being possesive of my boyfriends.

[SpedMonkee]

thats what i would do and thats what i thought.. but slowly it overwhelmed me and i started letting my thoughts out to everyone else, besides her