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"incomplete", it's a start.
antix10_kos
post Jun 28 2005, 08:30 AM
Post #1


cellophane chests?
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I just want to lie here
I just want to die
I just want some quiet
I just want to deny it

I was not loved.
I was not sacred.
I was not secret.
You leave and never look back.

Don't cast a glance
over your shoulder
your looks crush me like a boulder

I can't take it
you know I'll break it
I'll forsake it
Just to be happy.

I just want to lie here
In this quiet
The silence
I am breathing
Not for long


It's hard to give up when you've given it your all.
 
 
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emazing
post Jun 28 2005, 02:23 PM
Post #2


What a hypocrite.
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Wow, very well-written, the poem gives a kind of depressed or troublesome mood to it, and the last verse that's underlined and red is my favorite part of the poem. Nice work. _smile.gif
 
sakaitone
post Jul 1 2005, 03:42 PM
Post #3


lackadaisical
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cry.gif so sad and depressing! good job anyway!
 
mocassinsx29
post Jul 1 2005, 04:38 PM
Post #4


mood: content
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YAY, good grammar with capitals! <333 Nicely done, makes me a little sad though. :( You came up with the last bit yourself? Wow, I like it. :)
 
[Deep]Thought63
post Jul 9 2005, 01:37 AM
Post #5


Mr. Hottie
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DEEP! urgent.gif
 

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