opposites..., and communcation.. Options

[SpedMonkee]

i searched and i found things on communication, but nothing that i really needed (sorry)

well me and my g/f will have been going out for 4 months on saturday (june 18), and recently we have been having a bit of some problems. we are just about complete opposites (i like coke, she likes pepsi. i like rock, she likes rap. etc. and the list goes on..) just today, while sitting through one of those silent conversations on aim.., she comes up talking about how we never seem to find anything to talk about, which is true.

she chalks it up to us not having anything in common, which either we dont or we cant figure out one. now she sort of expects ME to do something about it.. i said that maybe it might help if i took more interest in the things she likes, which i am totally willing to do, but she said no. she believes that i shouldnt have to change even though we arnt able to have a conversation much because of it.. then i called her a little while after, like she asked me to, and we just sat there on the phone in dead silence for about 15-20 min (which its never that bad) before i told her that i couldnt take the silence anymore and that i would call her the next day..

i guess what im asking here is there any way through this really? cuz now that its out in the open if it doesnt get resolved its just going to get worse.. and now i feel like our communcation is a bit worse because of it and i even feel like its going to be harder to talk to her period...

and the ironic thing is that this comes a day after we spend our longest time on the phone talking (which of course she says she cant seem to remember...)

[littlewhite]

Compromising? You give up some of your interests, and she gives up some of her interests, then there will be some similarities between you two?

Sorry if I am a bad advice giver.

[topsyturvy]

Compromising? You give up some of your interests, and she gives up some of her interests

Well... it's kinda hard to "give up" your interests... I doubt you guys have absolutely NOTHING in common, though. Try to find out more about her. There has to be SOMETHING you guys share.

P.S. Silent phone calls aren't always bad... unless the silence is awkward. Sometimes peaceful silence is better than pointless gossip.

[_sarcastic_]

^agreed.
there has to be something you guys have in common, if not just talk about school, or what is happening around you.

[FailedSense]

try and get into her kind of stuff anyway. just because she tells you not to doesn't mean she doesn't want you to.

Women are mean like that. No offense to anyone, though. ^.^

[SpedMonkee]

^agreed.
there has to be something you guys have in common, if not just talk about school, or what is happening around you.

thats all ive ever talked about and it seemed like it was fine up until now..

[Winter]

My boyfriend and I are as different as day and night. We like a lot of different things. I'd say the only thing we have in common is our passion for Korean music.

But I think that's what makes things work with us. We have so much to talk about because we enjoy different things. We playfully argue about a lot of stuff.

I guess opposite attracts. But maybe for you guys, that doesn't work. You guys don't have to focus on your differences. Surely you have something in common you can talk about.

I don't think silent phone calls are a bad thing. Sometimes it's nice just knowing someone is there. Even after 2 years, there are times when my boyfriend and I have awkward silences during our phone call. Usually one of us will just start a topic and go wild. ~_-

[picaso_smile]

She's probably just not that into you anymore and wants an excuse to end it.

[silver-rain]

I've gone through that same thing with my boyfriend, where I once thought that we never talked and we don't have anything in common, etc. Well, just try to be interested in her interests, develop new interests and talk to her about them. Share your interests, and talk about yourselves, your day, your goals, dreams, etc. Just start talking about anything, and maybe she'll go along with it.
And silences on the phone isn't too bad, unless it's an awkward one. I personally don't like them, so my boyfriend and I rarely talk on the phone for long.

[illuminessence]

She doesn't sound interested in you at all. She doesn't even want to try to involve herself in your own interests by just sitting there, making you responsible for resolving this. I say the end is near...sorry.

[CrazayChristian]

CHANGE FOR NOONE


I live by that. I change for noone. I don't suggest it (if that was obvious by now). But I don't see how you can be together if you can't talk and have nothing in common. In my position I say cut the relationship.