another, love poem. |
 Jun 5 2005, 05:35 PM
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#1
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Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 148 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,934  |
This poem is another love poem, untitled. Title suggestions would be much appreciated. Not one of my strong poems, just thought I would share though. I kind of wanted to make a new style of poem. Syllables from 9 to 1. Copyright to me: Mari. Lol. He was the one who opened my heart He was the one who broke it too "I love you" I say, my part, His reply, "I not you." Ran fast as I bailed My heart then failed As I heard That word Love |
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(1 - 6)
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Jun 6 2005, 04:18 AM
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#2
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 deleted Group: Member Posts: 3,168 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 92,276 |
"one person, one word"?
eh...pretty bad hmm "4 letters of tragedy"? ehh i am going to stop trying but i love the poem very short and sweet it sounds like it should be a song =) |
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Jun 6 2005, 04:27 AM
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#3
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 I'll never be who I was again.. Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
i like it..its nice and short..good job!
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Jun 6 2005, 05:23 PM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 148 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,934 |
Thanks.
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Jun 7 2005, 05:54 PM
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#5
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 52 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 133,454 |
lol! that made me laugh i dunno why...sorry =P
nice job though! :) |
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Jun 8 2005, 01:25 PM
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#6
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 creepy heather Group: Official Member Posts: 4,208 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,580 |
it really started to fall apart towards the end..then shattered...but i love he beginning
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Jun 8 2005, 04:36 PM
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#7
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 148 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,934 |
Any suggestions then to fix the end? And thanks for the feedback.
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