"juss friends", is anybody able to do it? |
"juss friends", is anybody able to do it? |
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#1
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 73 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,163 ![]() |
me -n- my bf broke up recently...-n- it was a mutual thing since we're both happy -n- whtnot...-n- we promised to remain "juss friends" but we're like....ignoring each other...has this happened to neone else out there? neone able to accomplish to still remain friends? ---
P.S. we broke up 'boutz two days ago after going out for a lil ova 6 months...if that helps ![]() |
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#2
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![]() whaaaaaaat? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 2,293 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,660 ![]() |
aww, don't worry. it's natural to feel a little iffy about each other right now. u two just broke up, and u both need a little distance. i'm trying to be friends with my ex, but she avoids me like the plague because according to her "that's how i deal with it". so whatever. a little distance is all good.
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#3
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![]() Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 128,746 ![]() |
oh..dun worry. he's probably feeling the same way as you. It's all very normal. ButI HAVE seen a few who has managed to be really friends. Most of us aren't like them.
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#4
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![]() I can't believe its not "Ryan" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,981 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,368 ![]() |
Well thats just how it is! After sharing so much with each other, its hard to just be friends all over again. Just give each other time to not be so awkward.
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#5
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 57 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 82,407 ![]() |
something like that happened to my exbf and i. we broke up after a 4 month relationship and we ignored each other for quite some time but now we're friends and kinda close ones too =) but its just not the same..
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#6
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![]() HAAAAAAAA. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 4,472 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,068 ![]() |
![]() One phrase that guys hate most is "lets just be friends". |
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#7
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![]() kristin ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 5,705 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,985 ![]() |
Wow. I can understand 2 weeks and then ignoring...but 6 months?
Yeah it happened for me htough. We ignored eachother for like 2 weeks then just got over it. And it's not a good way to go, you should just confront him. |
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#8
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![]() reluctantly gazing ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 472 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 120,555 ![]() |
who broke up with who?
i mean, if you dumped him, then its natural that he might wanna ignore you... if he dumped you...then if u still wanna be friends... i spose he should allow it. ah, i dont know what im saying, but i hope it all works out for you two ![]() |
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#9
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 349 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 124,513 ![]() |
Its hard to have the same friendship you have before you go out, its possible, never happened to me yet, but its takes adjustment and after that the friendship can blossom....
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#10
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![]() dakishimetainoni... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 ![]() |
my ex and i have broken up for like 2 years by now, we went out for about 8 months and he still doesn't talk to me. he blocked me awhile ago too.
i'd like to be friends again but from the way he talks those rare times we talk, i guess he's not over me -__-* i think he's just ridiculous, it's been 2 f*cking years ![]() well since you both were in a relationship for half a year, you can't really bounce down to friends that fast...give him some time, he'll probably come around...if not then just let it go. |
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#11
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![]() ...and this is me.. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 ![]() |
After a while, I think it'll be ok again....give it a while more....don't worry...
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#12
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![]() <3 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 ![]() |
my ex (i've been with him for only one week, so he doens't really count as my real bf) broke up 10 months ago, we didn't talk for like a month but now we're like best friends
give it time, it feels awkward after breaking up, soon everything will be back to normal again |
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#13
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![]() .bubblicious inspirations. @ www.bubbliciousoul.com ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 466 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,228 ![]() |
being just friends is possible... but it takes time, i am still friends with alot of my ex bfs. just let the pain heal first and you have to take it slow if not it'll jsut complicate things.
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#14
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 73 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,163 ![]() |
thanks to everybody that posted! well...as it turns out we are able to remain friends..and very good ones actually! ^_^ lol...I'm glad I'm able to adjust eaisly! haha...but yea...thanks again guys!
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#15
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![]() The windmills of your mind .. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,317 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 83,699 ![]() |
My sister Frankie, had a boyfriend and they were dating for 2 years and a half, they broke up, they remained friends for about a week and then he started slagging her off, saying stuff about her and she didnt know hy he was doing it. It was pretty sad, cause she still loved him even though they had broken up.
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#16
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![]() RAWR. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 2,585 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,641 ![]() |
it works best if you guys were friends first. I know any bf I had that I was really good friends with, I stay friends with after we broke up. So yeah. It works for me.
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#17
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![]() Like i care. ♥ ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 780 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 124,706 ![]() |
well it kinda depends.. i had a gay friend, and i was just friends with him (duh) untill it seemed that he wasnt gay and he actually likes me, when i dont feel a thing for him, so i just ignore him a bit.. because i dont want to give him the feeling i like him.. its really sad o.O
ok that was a pointless story :P I can be friends with a boy, as long im not even a bit atracted to him.. :) |
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#18
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![]() atleast pretend to care? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 262 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,176 ![]() |
well.. in the beginning.. it might be hard for both of you to be "just friends" cuz after everything that just happened.. it might take a while to settle down and get over those feelings between each other.. When my Bf && I broke up.. we talked a little.. but it was really akward around each other for awhile.. Just take it slowly and show that u want to be friends`.. try not to avoid him ^_________^
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#19
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![]() Perfectionist, Loner, Confident, Mysterious, Imperfect, Kevyn ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 370 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,095 ![]() |
to break up after going out for six months? That would definitely be difficult. I can't give a definite answer because I've never been in that situation before...
-Kevyn |
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#20
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![]() <-[RaWR]-> ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 180 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,133 ![]() |
yeah thats kind of hard.To go on still being frinds after you were "involved" with someone.Mainly because it feels wierd to think of someone you thought you liked as a friend so you'd rather ignore eachother then talk and risk the fact that it might have been wrong.
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#21
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![]() Hah! Its funny cause its true... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 89,954 ![]() |
It always depends on how you break up. Ifit's a fight you two won't ever talk to eachother anymore. If you both agreed it was time to end you will probably stay friends.
But sorry to hear that. My ex is a total jerk to me!! Atleast your ex doesn't call you a dumb f**k because you misunderstood him. |
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*iNyCxShoRT* |
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#22
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yeah it happened to me, it's cause i guess you dislike them since you guys broke up. and it causes less pain for you.
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#23
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![]() baby, be good to me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 592 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,358 ![]() |
Same thing happened to me, it's hard, I'm not gonna lie. The problem is since it was mutual there is no one to blame, if there was someone to blame than it would be easier to just get pissed off at the dumper and move on. But since it's mutal, neither of you quite know what to think of the sitatuion. Things are always awkward after a relationship, especially a six-monther. If you two are truly meant to be friends then you just have to give it time to heal, it's still too soon. The feelings don't just magically go away just because you broke up, sure they are faded, but you still care about eachother a lot and it's hard to make the transition from boyfriend&girlfriend to just friends. You'll both get over it soon enough, just be nice to eachother.
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#24
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![]() brandon demarin ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 287 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 81,512 ![]() |
bleh
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#25
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![]() Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 25 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 135,570 ![]() |
I know how you feel, I'm friends with TWO of my ex's...One I was with for 4 years and its hard just being friends with him. But I cant stand to have him completely out of my life.
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#26
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 258 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,101 ![]() |
well i broke up with my gf the other day. we were going out for about 5 months... it still hurts abit to think about it... she wants to still be friends with me, but i told her at the time, because i was pretty pissed off and upset and a bit confused, that i didnt want to be. now, only two days after, i want to be friends with her. but i dont know if i want to be friends with her so we could be friends.. or because i still want to be with her.. because i do...
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#27
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![]() lick me ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,044 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,013 ![]() |
That happends to me everytime. Its like, once you cross the friendship line, you can't go back ><" me and my ex used to be best friends, now it seems like we hate each other and its so tragicc.
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#28
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![]() 07 isz coming ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 333 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,490 ![]() |
^^ ahhh desperately hoping that won't happen to me...
![]() when me n my bf broke ^, it was kinda awkward @ school, so yea- we pretty much avoided each other. after a while it all kinda passed, n now we're pretty close again [as friends]...gl~!! |
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#29
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 36 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,037 ![]() |
my friends that went out for over a year broke up and they are like freaken awesome friends still. Also i still remained friends with like ... a semi boyfriend. so it IS doable. Just depends on like time you konw? to wash away the awkwardness so ya.
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#30
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![]() sunshiine ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,080 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,360 ![]() |
its okay things will get better
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#31
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![]() Call me Lauren d=] ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 278 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 113,118 ![]() |
I have seriously not held another ACTUAL conversation with any of my ex-boyfriends for at least 6 months. Yeah, I mean small talk is cool. But never under the surface.. I don't know what to tell you. But if I were you I would try to talk to him. Just as friends. Otherwise, you will regret it.
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#32
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 889 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,392 ![]() |
ok see my EX boyfriend...and i..(HAH see that grammer alex? ) broke up a long time ago..we said we'd still be good friends. but then he started going out with my best friend..and i got really mad at him. then as time past we're friends now=) so everything's good
oh n p.s he got dumped by my best friend toooo. =) |
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#33
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![]() The Texan ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 430 Joined: May 2005 Member No: 136,431 ![]() |
It's...akward being friends after a break up. It's reason #632 (yes I have over 700 reasons) I don't take too many girlfriends.
It CAN work, it's just hard. |
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#34
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![]() memories live FOREVER<3 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,150 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 132,793 ![]() |
happens to me ALL THE TIME. every relationship i end up not being freinds with them 4ever. its a weird thing.
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#35
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CHYEAAHHH MAN ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,255 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 168,013 ![]() |
Never had anyone but I think it all depends on how you break up.
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#36
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trust me, im fightin temptations. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 399 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 120,414 ![]() |
i dont usually become friends with my exes. as they say though "friends could be lovers but lovers cant be friends."
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#37
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![]() Bay Area YadadaDiiiig. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 4,249 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 103,202 ![]() |
there are only two exes ive had that im not friends with anymore the first, is cos he THOUGHT i was cheaintg [ i wasnt and i never would] and called me a slut and the second one was cos of him trying to rape me. i hope he dies.
anyways usually a day or two after we break up i'll just say hi to them and keep a conversation up its awkward at first but im an easygoing person and yeah.. it goes good after. |
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#38
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![]() dripping destruction ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,282 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,929 ![]() |
it can work out.
after all the hating and stuff is over, me and my ex get along (relativley) fine. ![]() |
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*anubis* |
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#39
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Guest ![]() |
it just depends on the person you were with though.
i've got two perfect examples of me with my two ex's. my first ex, i've known since for about 8 years now (since 2nd grade) and, after we broke up, we've still managed to be really good friends (could be even better). but while we were in our relationship, we weren't that close. but my second ex. we were always all touchy-feely in our relationship. after the breakup--it was just horrible. at times we'd ignore each other and at times she'd be mad at me for the weirdest reasons. so we went from being so close in our relationship to just--flat out nothing. so my rule of thumb is, the closer you are to someone in a relationship, the harder it is to remain friends afterwards. |
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#40
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![]() Go to Tahiti, and make out with a native. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Duplicate Posts: 914 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,267 ![]() |
ive remained friends with a lot of people ive gone out with. its really not that hard if you feel mutual about some things
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#41
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![]() biglamchops ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 262 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 149,977 ![]() |
That's rough.... The only way that's possible is to spend some time away from each other. It's the hardest thing to do...but if you guys want to be friends...its the only way. It'll never be the same but you have to accept that fact. I haven't been able to yet to become friends with my ex...but...Time will tell...
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#42
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![]() dizzy me up. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,191 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,139 ![]() |
that is quite interesting, i was in the same kind of situation. cept we dont talk anymore, but we're different cus it wasn't mutual. he liked another girl..but yeah, i see it happen.
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#43
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 78 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 104,678 ![]() |
uh... this happened to me. i broke up wif mai bf for the reason to be friends and the way he's been acting .... and then we didnt stay as friends. he disses me a lot in front of his friends, crowds of pple. he starts being a jerk to me. yeah... how do u juss overcome not hating each other?
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#44
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![]() have u lost ur mind? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 512 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 26,217 ![]() |
always happens... its juss the shock of it all afta a longg relationship... it juss feels awkward to talk to that person for a while... but start up small talk n u'll b friends again
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#45
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![]() My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 150,342 ![]() |
happend to me. we broke up and didnt speak to eachother for about 4 1/2 months but now i guess we're friends....just not as good as a friend he used to be i guess lol
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#46
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,564 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,336 ![]() |
Yeah, it happened to me. I don't really give a fck'. If they want to be friends then they would talk to me. Try talking to him, like about anything. If he doesn't want to talk back then don't even gotta' try. He doesn't want to be your friend.
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