Steed, a poem |
 Apr 21 2005, 08:23 PM
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#1
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 dripping destruction  Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,282 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,929  |
Steed (04\14/05)
The scent of the car is a familiar one left lingering when new-car-smell is gone the smell of gasoline- so familiar welcoming with open arms the troubles of behind are now past and he's driving away ------he's driving away ------------driving away ---------------------away away from troubles in his life and away from the people in his life he runs to his car, a faithful steed and spurs it on, through the red to his death and his release. Steed ©2005 by me. //EDIT// i changed 'to his death and release' to 'to his death and his release'. the syllables just didn't seem right... |
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Apr 21 2005, 11:32 PM
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#2
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 .bubblicious inspirations. @ www.bubbliciousoul.com Group: Member Posts: 466 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,228 |
this is really cute...
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Apr 22 2005, 04:31 PM
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#3
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dripping destruction Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 7,282 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,929 |
CUTE?!?
did you read the last two lines? |
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Apr 23 2005, 12:30 AM
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#4
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 High Voltage!∞ Group: Official Member Posts: 4,728 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,157 |
Wow..that's tragic.
 I like it. Hahah..cute?  Anyways, great job, it's very deep.
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Apr 23 2005, 01:21 AM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,541 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,332 |
I like it a lot.
I can see a lot of emotion. Very tradgic. I defentley caught the emotion. Good job! 
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Apr 23 2005, 01:25 AM
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#6
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 I'd rather make mistakes than break. Group: Member Posts: 121 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 117,869 |
Wow. I like this a lot. Especially this line:
QUOTE the troubles of behind are now past It really gives the affect of him leaving behind his troubles, and the emotion behind the poem is intriguing -- the fact that his only escape even means death.and he's driving away ------he's driving away ------------driving away ---------------------away Mucho love, Alyson |
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| *stephinika* |
Apr 23 2005, 04:48 PM
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#7
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Guest |
well written and like alyson said, the spaces add so much to the overall effect. great concept too. nice job.
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