Father Loves Daughter |
| *Kathleen* |
 Apr 15 2005, 02:13 PM
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#1
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A defiant glare and witty remark
Was clearly all it took Slumped in the corner, head down As the coroner came to have a look Death, he reported near midnight, Was massive blood loss Blunt trauma to the head - 'Twas the high price death clearly cost Mr. Niceguy to wife and friends, But madness festered beneath Beneath the façade of success But unfortunately far too deep The short hand strikes at eleven Gasping as her senses fail, Her life lets go its grip As this nears the end of her tale Malice and lunacy coincide As he staggers further back With no regret For the fatal end of attack |
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Replies
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Apr 15 2005, 02:29 PM
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#2
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 LunchboxXx  Group: Member Posts: 1,789 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,810 |
oooooooh. spellbinding, kinda. very visual. nice work
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| *islandgirl4eva* |
Apr 15 2005, 03:43 PM
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#3
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I see this whole thing playing out like a movie. It's very intense. I like it! You should consider writing a book someday...or a collection of short stories.
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Apr 15 2005, 05:22 PM
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#4
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 ticktock. Group: Member Posts: 1,138 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 118,235 |
Sorry my vocabulary isnt that good. Is this poem saying that the father hits the daughter?
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Apr 15 2005, 05:41 PM
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#5
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 Do you miss your little girl? Group: Member Posts: 181 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,851 |
Wow. You are an awesome writer; this poem is a true story that tells it all. Keep up the good work. :)
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Apr 15 2005, 06:48 PM
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#6
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Very, very nice work, Kathleen.
It painted a vivid picture. Excellent job, and I love the words you chose. Nice, nice work. 
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| *Kathleen* |
Apr 15 2005, 07:13 PM
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#7
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Aww thanks, you guys!
 And yes, x3__iGiVEup, the father hits (and killed) his daughter.
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Apr 15 2005, 07:48 PM
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#8
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Do you miss your little girl? Group: Member Posts: 181 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,851 |
You know how morbid that is? -grins-
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| *xcaitlinx* |
Apr 15 2005, 10:58 PM
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#9
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i could really picture (unfortunately) all of the events that happeend in it. I love the use of vocabulary, and it made me a little sad too.
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Apr 21 2005, 11:40 AM
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#10
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 .bubblicious inspirations. @ www.bubbliciousoul.com Group: Member Posts: 466 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 112,228 |
nice words...
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Apr 21 2005, 12:19 PM
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#11
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 i've never wanted anything rationale. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 8,449 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,045 |
^You are annoying.
And Kathleen, it is AMAZING! Soo vivid and dark. I love it =) |
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