My meaningfull rap, wut ya'll thhink?? Options

[WinterNights2]

Allright i don't wanna start beef. I am Winternights2 on Forumplasma, im just redirectin my shiz to think what ya'll think of it. My name's John, how's it going? Allrighth ere's a rap i wrote when i was feelin down about the world these days.

Chorus:
Stand tall brotha what you sayin
we got child support bills that no ones payin
this world we livins slowy decreasin
law officials get shot will the niggaz creepin
look at this we got some good samaratins
so im out mutha Fu**** im goin to the Sheraton.

Verse 1:
It's amazin how can u not picture
Brothas dyin in the ghetto creating blood scriptuaz
Tryin to get my name known in this game
people dyin to try get fortune and fame
Gun shots echo the block gon quiet
tupacs dead biggie died on the diet
This world gon be destroyed by pollution
its every man for himself theres no solution
droppin a bullet tryin to get revenge
while all the rich kids rollin in BMW'z and Mercedes benz
we livin in a trailer tryin to hold on to few friends

Verse 2:
Bush attacked iraq spent billions on the war
yet theres still millions starvin and we cant feed the poor
i give props to marvin for comforting brothas
growin up havin a poor single mother
Bein a G makes makin friends easy
but you have barley any left cuz there blowin in the wind
or lying 6 feet under in the cemetery
Grew up watched my dad cry while the police man shot him
Livin a losin battle somethin i cant win
like growin up a black baby was a sin

Verse:3
The voice of god tellin me to be brave
but a poor brotha cant help but crave
Tryed to afford rent by sellin dope
spendin money on ice and gold ropes
When i die ill end up in a place with no welfare,
livin among people who care
Where you can be in peace with your family
sittin around smokin under a money tree
Grew up family devoloped a drug habit
Got one shot at fame gotta grab it
Growin up in da ghetto crap stays the same
Brothas dead because of cocaine
Till then all i can do is keep ma head up, but it seems that pain will never let up
so what im gonna do is set up
an empire
it'll spread like a money wild fire
watch it i'll get rich some day while my kids be starvin i got bills to pay
well till then all i can do is wait
i live a thug life and theres no debate.

Yeah i edited it and added some stuff as i worked on it, what do you guys think of it?



[Edit:} [What do you guys think?]
© Winternights2 A.K.A John Aight ya'll dont be hatin on me.

[*nightmare4taki*]

Nice rapping.

[gladz612]

nice...

[Terror]

you know you sound like you bit so much of this off of 'Pac it aint even funny, you even pretty much stole his own lines.

"Till then all i can do is keep ma head up, but it seems that pain will never let up"

nice job, you succesfully ripped off "Keep Ya Head Up" by the late Tupac Amaru Shakur.

This jus sounds like a rip off of a mixture of Pac songs.

[Terror]

see that man in my signature, thats Immortal Technique, the realest ever. You should educate yourself about him and stop listening to mainstream rap.

[to-devastate]

^ Don't double post. Use edit button.
Anywho, I thought it was pretty good. It's really cool how you relate the world into your rap. Nice job.

[Terror]

^yeah sorry

but yeah it was a good rap but c'mon any one who has listened to Tupac can see that he bit that rap off of Pac, and i dont think its very original.

[WinterNights2]

I admit i used the Keep ya head up lyric just to fill space. But the rest is mine I think. Just so you know, "No Mercy" by Immortal Technique is kinda sucky becuase of the flow. I like the point of no return though.

[Terror]

well dont expect him to be perfect, tupac has some wack songs too. but your not listening to the right ones, listen to Dance With The Devil, You Never KNow, Harlem Streets, Peruvian Cocaine, Cause Of Death, Bin Laden, The Illest, and a few others