After Having Sex... Options

[tinababy143]

After you and your significant other had sex for the first time or after a few times..did it seem like either you or they seemed to kind of.."expect" sex?? Did it feel like it was something that was almost always on your or their mind??

It seems like after my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time ((over a year ago)) its been all he can think//talk about. I've asked him about why he always refers everything to sex or something sexual, but he just says "Its not like that" or "I was joking." And of course hes a guy and hormones are raging and everything..i completely understand that, but sometimes it just gets on my nerves. I've talked to him about it and even asked him, "If I told you I didnt want to have sex with you anymore, what would you do or say??" And he told me "I would respect you and we wouldnt have sex anymore, but it would definetely be hard."

So anyway..I was just wondering if its like that with most people or if something "isnt right" about whats going on. I quoted "isnt right" because I'm not exactly sure about how to word what i mean.

[fameONE]

After you and your significant other had sex for the first time or after a few times..did it seem like either you or they seemed to kind of.."expect" sex??  Did it feel like it was something that was almost always on your or their mind??

It seems like after my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time ((over a year ago)) its been all he can think//talk about.  I've asked him about why he always refers everything to sex or something sexual, but he just says "Its not like that" or "I was joking."  And of course hes a guy and hormones are raging and everything..i completely understand that, but sometimes it just gets on my nerves.  I've talked to him about it and even asked him, "If I told you I didnt want to have sex with you anymore, what would you do or say??"  And he told me "I would respect you and we wouldnt have sex anymore, but it would definetely be hard."

So anyway..I was just wondering if its like that with most people or if something "isnt right" about whats going on.  I quoted "isnt right" because I'm not exactly sure about how to word what i mean.

Its a maturity thing. Surprisingly enough, with my ex/current gf, she made the move and suggested having sex. Neither of us got carried away with letting lust get the better of us. Don't get me wrong, we enjoyed it and made the most of every experience but I didn't lose sight of why I fell in love with her.

However, my first two times, I was utterly obsessed with all things sex and fit the stereotype of the 'horny teenage boy.'

[Chii]

hmm, my boyfriend never was a sexual person but i am...he surprised me one night and made the first move...that was actually the night we got together it was a pretty interesting night... we were best friends first though so he wasn't a stranger

ever since then we do stuff a lot, but we do talk, go out, laugh, fight, be stupid and etcetera like normal couples so it's all good. if all he wants is to get all over you and f*ck everyday then i think that might be a problem...

[tinababy143]

well i was the one to make the first move actually and he said no the first 2-3 times because he wasnt ready and wasnt sure if he really was in love with me..but then he finally said yes..and its not like hes like "hi..lets have sex" haha..he just expects it all the time and when i say no hes like why not?? whats wrong with you?? and im not THAT much of a sexual person..if it happens it happens, if it doesnt..oh well. We have been together for 5 years and i dunno..i just started noticing him acting like this..so yeah..but anyway..thanks for both of your responses =)

[*mzkandi*]

i have never dated guys like that but some guys and girls are overly horny and its takes some people a while to understand that a relationship cant be based solely on sex

[*islandgirl4eva*]

My boyfriend and I never had sex, but after we started messing around eventually the pressure was there. We're both very sexual beings and regardless of my virgin status, we did everything that one might do before sex. It took a while, but we got over those expectations. All throughout we had the meaningful, fulfilling relationship we wanted, but the physical benefits were still there.

[bravodancer04]

Well..we never had sex yet, but every time we do something, the next time we see each other..if it i possible..I expect to do more. IDK..i`m a very sexual person, and I love doing stuff like that, call me a slut, but idc..I love it. Im getting off topic..I think that`s normal, most guys expect sex if you give it to them once..

[*Weird addiction*]

Just like my friend and her bf. Her bf is a sex addict, whenever they see eachother bam, sex, she's tired and is going to break up with him tomorrow.

[Rachel]

Well obviously guys think about sex enough already, so once you give them sex, they want it more! My boyfriend wants to have sex a lot but I mean, we can't always do it. Of course I think about it more too but it does kind of bother me that he expects us to have sex whenever we are alone

[mouse_3k]

Think of it as a Pandora Box. They will always think about it and want more. Its just the way the man;s mind works..

[tinababy143]

thanks for your guyses responses..it really helped..but yeah..i dunno..i also think its odd because hes about to be 21 in may and you would think hed be a LITTLE more mature about it..right?? or am i just not making sense and taking everything out of proportion??

[katlina22]

yea...sex is kinda addictive...

[starlette]

I guess when me and the guy I'm with first did it, it was his first time (over 2 years ago now that I think of it...wow..) and so he sort of got addicted to it. I cant say that I minded, but it was over winter break so we did it like every day, and it lost its specialness. if that makes any sense. But now, when he comes home from school on the weekends, its kinda expected? But I mean, no one gets mad if it doesnt happen or anything. So I mean, at first I can see if thats all he wants, but dang, after that long maybe its a problem. I know after a while me and him just stopped all together cuz i felt like it meant nothing anymore. So maybe yall should try that. I dunno. Too much of a good thiing is still not good.

[Rachel]

yea...sex is kinda addictive...

Kind of?!?! Try REALLY addicting.

And tina, I would say that he just a guy. Yeah, it can get annoying, but you want sex too right? As long as he doesn't like rape you or force you, then don't be too worried. You might want to try holding out on him for a little bit and see if he calms down

[tinababy143]

Yeah, it can get annoying, but you want sex too right? Yeah, it can get annoying, but you want sex too right? As long as he doesn't like rape you or force you, then don't be too worried. You might want to try holding out on him for a little bit and see if he calms down

oh..dont worry..he never forces me or anything..he just gets mad when im like "ehh i dont want to 2nite..." or whatever..he'll freak out for like 10-15 mins then be okay with hit..and yeah i want it..but im not very sexual at all..i want it like once a month haha..

also now that i have been thinking about it..i never mentioned that he lives in san diego and i moved to san francisco a year ago..we only see each other maybe 2 weekends out of the month and every once in a while a week during a months period..so now that i think about it..its reasonable to why its all he thinks about and wants while im down there..but anywayyyyy

thanks to ALL of you..you all helped with the situation so much =)

[kryzcoak47luv666]

After you and your significant other had sex for the first time or after a few times..did it seem like either you or they seemed to kind of.."expect" sex??  Did it feel like it was something that was almost always on your or their mind??

It seems like after my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time ((over a year ago)) its been all he can think//talk about.  I've asked him about why he always refers everything to sex or something sexual, but he just says "Its not like that" or "I was joking."  And of course hes a guy and hormones are raging and everything..i completely understand that, but sometimes it just gets on my nerves.  I've talked to him about it and even asked him, "If I told you I didnt want to have sex with you anymore, what would you do or say??"  And he told me "I would respect you and we wouldnt have sex anymore, but it would definetely be hard."

So anyway..I was just wondering if its like that with most people or if something "isnt right" about whats going on.  I quoted "isnt right" because I'm not exactly sure about how to word what i mean.

same thing here
except now he wants to stop in fear of pregnancy and I still would like to have it
once your sexually active with someone, it starts to become a part of the relationship, think b4 you do!

[someflipguy]

well its kind of opposite here, she always asks if I feel like she expects it, and I am like "NO". Lets be real what guy will say no when a girl wants to have it all the time. Not me!

[darklync]

lol, pretty much all guys think about is sex....just not usually outloud.

[tinababy143]

lol, pretty much all guys think about is sex....just not usually outloud.

haha well thats a given

[someflipguy]

^agreed!

[xxtaintedlips]

Random fact-- Humans and dolphins are the only living things that have sex for pleasure...

He likes it, just make sure he loves you and is not using you as his sex buddy

[miss barnes]

its all i think about now and i'm a girl.

[AsianUniQ]

Guys would quit smoking if they can have sex everyday. hehe. All guys think about everyday was sex. I mean every single day. But with girls they want to be more emotionally attached. But with guys, its just, material. You're just material. Try to slow down the pace. If you ever break up with him, he'll blame you for the broken heart...then blames himself for letting you go... Nonetheless, you have the power in this relationship. No means no. If not, you can hit the highway.

[gothicdork]

haven't had sex yet but I do think about it and I'm a girl. If you wanna do it, do it. If not then I'm sure he'll understand how you feel that night.


~*~*~D eCePT10N -ess~*~*~

[whywasisostupid]

funny. i think im more of the sexual person than my boyfriend. he always wants to do 3rd base though before sex

[x_hiccupy_x]

i say you just stop having sex with him for like 2 months or something and see if he changes. if he does, then he`s only in it for sex. if he stays the same and says he respects your decision, then you have nothing to worry about

[*iNyCxShoRT*]

"just make sure he loves you and is not using you as his sex buddy:
^ Agreed

[taintedtrash]

sex is my favorite topic to talk about with my bf

[Eryi]

Your boyfriend is one horny fiend. Some guys are like that. Sex education means a lot to them

[pinayprincess]

shoot i havent had sex, but everytime we're doing something sexual [like nore than hugging kissing blahblah] he always having the earg to wanna have sex, 'wanting skin' .. shoot i was about to break up with him for sayin that cause i dont want a man who only think about sex in a relationship.. i then got it clear with him that he dont want that..

[xoxoxx]

Don't have sex because you will get pregnant and DIE.

[xenosaga]

^ that's just plain funny...duh tha'ts why there's protections

[dopeSOUL]

Its a maturity thing. Surprisingly enough, with my ex/current gf, she made the move and suggested having sex. Neither of us got carried away with letting lust get the better of us. Don't get me wrong, we enjoyed it and made the most of every experience but I didn't lose sight of why I fell in love with her.

However, my first two times, I was utterly obsessed with all things sex and fit the stereotype of the 'horny teenage boy.'

i agree with u.. i was completely obsessed the first and secound time.. but lust shouldnt take over because it will plague the relationship and make it feel weird at time..