i feel like i'm being unfair, in judging him like this... |
 Apr 5 2005, 08:32 PM
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#1
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 You can't keep running from what you're trying to find.  Group: Official Member Posts: 5,030 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,096  |
so there's this guy i like in my PE class. he's in 9th grade, i'm in 8th. there are all these differences like he's popular, hott (lol there's a point with this) and really funny and everything... i could just go on. and i've gotten some hints for a while that he might like me, but i feel like it would be impossible (because of who i am... like he could have ANY of the pretty 9th grade girls) that he could like me, but from everything that's happened i dont really know what to think.
i've seen him to be mean to certain people. like really mean. and he swears a lot (not a LOT... but more then i'm used to with most ppl) and all this stuff, so i'm not really sure if he'd be my type. like the bad boy type. because it kind of scares/intimidates me sometimes. i talked about this with one of my friends, and she said that i was being stereotypical, that just because he was popular and w.e. doesnt mean that he couldn't like me... but dont people's actions speak for themselves? i mean he has called a girl in class various 'names', but then again he's so nice and sweet and funny and charming other times. but i dont know him at all... so he couldn't possibly like me for my personality but basically, my question is Do you think i should be so judgemental? i feel like i'm assuming everything... sorry this was really confusing and long... i'll try to rephrase if you dont get it 
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Apr 5 2005, 09:13 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
ok, first of all, I want you to set aside the fact that he's popular, good looking, and attractive to other girls. Picture him as a decent looking, not very well known teenage boy with the same personality. Would you feel the same way about him? If you answered no, then I don't think it's a good idea because that means you're basing what your future relationship would be like on his physical appearence. Also, if you don't know him very well and he doesn't know you, then that tends to lead me to believe that this is based on looks, because if you don't know very much about each other, then how can you say you like him? If that guy's a jerk to some people but not you, that may be ok for you, but think about how the people being insulted would feel. Put yourself in their shoes. It wouldn't feel very nice, would it? So in the end, he's hurting people by calling them names, and every person that is on the other end of those insults have feelings. Do you want a boyfriend who treats others negatively like that? just a few things to think about.
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Apr 5 2005, 09:42 PM
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#3
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 bad apple Group: Member Posts: 168 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 100,009 |
QUOTE(angel_revelation @ Apr 5 2005, 8:32 PM) but i dont know him at all... so he couldn't possibly like me for my personality  that's it hun, you don't know him. just because he has this stereotypical behavior doesn't mean he necessarily lives up to that. don't assume anything about anyone. assume = making an ass out of you and me. it's not fair if you automatically assume he's something when you don't know quite yet. go and talk to him, really. QUOTE Also, if you don't know him very well and he doesn't know you, then that tends to lead me to believe that this is based on looks, because if you don't know very much about each other, then how can you say you like him? you can like someone without knowing their personality. that's what crush is all about and when you finally get to know them, then you find other reasons to like them. you don't like someone without having some sort of physical attraction. |
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Apr 5 2005, 09:47 PM
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#4
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Senior Member Group: Official Member Posts: 4,882 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 47,064 |
QUOTE you can like someone without knowing their personality. that's what crush is all about and when you finally get to know them, then you find other reasons to like them. you don't like someone without having some sort of physical attraction. hm.. maybe I should've phrased that a little better. You can like somebody without being physically attracted to them. Even unattractive people still have others who like them. I'm just trying to say that before she decides to get into a relationship, she should get to know him. It can also go the other way.. you can get to know someone and realize that there isn't anything else you like in the person. |
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Apr 5 2005, 09:55 PM
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#5
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You can't keep running from what you're trying to find. Group: Official Member Posts: 5,030 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,096 |
thanks, i'll think about that stuff ^^ but it's just that i've been thinking about him a LOT lately. i've even dreamed about him a few times
 i'm just not really sure if he's worth my time, but i guess i'll just have to wait till i know him better to be sure.
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Apr 6 2005, 10:51 AM
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 blah Group: Member Posts: 313 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,360 |
Don't judge him UNTIL you get to know him.
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Apr 6 2005, 03:03 PM
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#7
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 179 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 82,420 |
QUOTE(illuminessence @ Apr 6 2005, 9:51 AM) Don't judge him UNTIL you get to know him. I agree! Dreams are more your subconcious, so maybe you dont really like him *shrugs* But talk to him more! |
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| *x____duckii* |
Apr 6 2005, 04:26 PM
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#8
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QUOTE(XKali_chik_4_lifeX @ Apr 5 2005, 10:13 PM) ok, first of all, I want you to set aside the fact that he's popular, good looking, and attractive to other girls. Picture him as a decent looking, not very well known teenage boy with the same personality. Would you feel the same way about him? If you answered no, then I don't think it's a good idea because that means you're basing what your future relationship would be like on his physical appearence. Also, if you don't know him very well and he doesn't know you, then that tends to lead me to believe that this is based on looks, because if you don't know very much about each other, then how can you say you like him? If that guy's a jerk to some people but not you, that may be ok for you, but think about how the people being insulted would feel. Put yourself in their shoes. It wouldn't feel very nice, would it? So in the end, he's hurting people by calling them names, and every person that is on the other end of those insults have feelings. Do you want a boyfriend who treats others negatively like that? just a few things to think about. Nice technique there  Anyways, you should just try to get to know him and his friends, and then see if you like him for him or not. |
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Apr 6 2005, 10:45 PM
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#9
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 naïvety Group: Human Posts: 1,303 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 488 |
Agree with XKali_chik_4_lifeX.
I understand why you're feeling afraid because he's popular. Lots of people are intimidated by popularity. QUOTE i've seen him to be mean to certain people. like really mean. and he swears a lot (not a LOT... but more then i'm used to with most ppl) and all this stuff, so i'm not really sure if he'd be my type. like the bad boy type. because it kind of scares/intimidates me sometimes. Judging from that, he sounds obnoxious and unstable. Suppose he becomes your boyfriend. Would you be able to stand it if he kept this attitude towards others.. or possibly even you? Would you really not mind his swearing?It sounds like you like him only for his looks. But think about it - after you get into the relationship, you'll have his attitude, habits, problems and so on to deal with. Will you be able to handle that? |
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Apr 7 2005, 12:53 AM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 889 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,392 |
ok you SAID that you dont know him well.
that means your attracted to him physically. that doesn't make u shallow...or anything..it just means its only a beggining. it doesn't matter if he's popular. doesn't matter if he's good looking...if you say you like his personality..that really doesn't count right now, sorry, cause you don't KNOW him yet. i understand how you feel...i used to have a crush on a guy in my grade who was very attractive..n very popular..but..i soon realized he's such a butt!!..but thats all in the past.. for NOW i have found someone...who is SMAART..FUNNY...TALL..ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM..*cough*...hes not the hottest looking guy in the world. but dayyumm he has a nice ass ; )...JK hah. he's really nice. but he does have a nice ass tho =). ok w.e XD wooh think i went off topic there. well my point IS...that just..dont worry about it. if you like him..tell him. thats what i did =)..and if it doesn't work out. no big deal. find sm1 else. there will always be guys out there...smthn i learned...=) good luck.<3 |
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| *iNyCxShoRT* |
Apr 29 2005, 11:05 AM
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#11
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Well like they say looks can be decieveing so try to get to know him better but it`s bad if he doesn`t make a good impression cause who knows he might be a hunk but he`s a total jerk.
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Apr 29 2005, 12:24 PM
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#12
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I'm Cattt. :] Group: Validating Posts: 1,722 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 130,831 |
you first have to know him really well before you go judging him. is he really that charming and nice or is he really that bad?
one of my best guyfriends is a really nice guy, but he just has a habit of swearing every single other word and hacking stuff (he got suspended for hacking the schools system and seeing everyone grades) and cheating on tests (i cheat with him too). but inside he's a sweet guy whos fun to be around with. you just have to find his core personality. |
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