Bitter Element, Poem... Options

[Sa-Chan]

Bitter Element
By: Savannah Harrison

Cutting,
A blade against a wrist,
Blood that pours out of me,
And paints me,
And rapes me,
And makes me red.
Ivory bathed in crimson oceans,
Metallic battery to your poison,
Checkmate!
I stabbed your king,
In the back of the neck,
So not to hurt myself again.
Scissors with a serrated edge,
That rip,
And clip the paper,
In such a jerking,
Pain-staking fashion,
You can't wait to break the skin.
You start at the beginning,
And the beginning leads to the end,
Like the blood leads to the wound,
In puddles,
Like pools,
You seek to drown yourself in.
A bitter element,
That it is,
When death is more of a greeting,
Like a postcard sent from Heaven,
Than a tragedy,
And we use our pain,
To mask our pleasure that doesn't even exist.

[ryfitaDF]

i like it. but it makes me sad. it looksl like you were tired and just writing down whatever came up in your mind at the time.

[Sa-Chan]

i like it. but it makes me sad. it looksl like you were tired and just writing down whatever came up in your mind at the time.

I'm really sorry it made you sad, but I guess...that's what it should do. I was tired when I wrote this, tired of a lot of things, sitting in fourth period. I guess...it was written out of exhaustion, frustration, and sadness. Sorry again, though, that it upset you.

[*stephinika*]

well written, nice adjectives and vocabulary. sad yes, but beautiful.