A poem by me, is it good? no its not rap |
| *Statistik* |
 Mar 21 2005, 06:55 PM
Post
#1
|
|
Guest  |
The sun is still shinin
i miss you even though my heart is broken remember the door is still open my tears are soakin cuz after my words are spoken your eyes will be woken and then the love will be forever... and ever.. ill be there for you whenever wherever.. awesome? good? bad? terrible? 
|
|
|
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 20)
|
Mar 21 2005, 07:08 PM
Post
#2
|
|
 I'll never be who I was again..  Group: Member Posts: 2,886 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 77,981 |
uhh i think its alrite...not bad...
|
|
|
|
| *salcha* |
Mar 22 2005, 02:15 AM
Post
#3
|
|
Guest |
haha better than your raps.
but yeah, it's okay. |
|
|
|
|
Mar 22 2005, 02:44 AM
Post
#4
|
|
 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
I agree, it is better than "your" raps. But I do have to say I think there is a bit too much rhyming going on just for the sake of rhyming.
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 22 2005, 07:29 PM
Post
#5
|
|
 Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
QUOTE(M1SSxCHR1SSY @ Mar 21 2005, 9:44 PM) I agree, it is better than "your" raps. But I do have to say I think there is a bit too much rhyming going on just for the sake of rhyming.  agreed. IMO, i think it's best if you stick to this. |
|
|
|
|
Mar 22 2005, 09:03 PM
Post
#6
|
|
 This is all my luck, it's all I got. Group: Member Posts: 1,373 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 76,532 |
Lol i agree too. you should stick to poems not raps. N.e ways its ok, not the best but ok.
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 22 2005, 09:33 PM
Post
#7
|
|
|
*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
hey doode i aint ginnah diss u but good ur poems are good ill admit it but like chrissy said too much alito rhyming like in the beggining
|
|
|
|
| *lolita kitty* |
Mar 23 2005, 04:51 AM
Post
#8
|
|
Guest |
pretty good, honestly.
lets just hope this one wasn't a google poem, eh?
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 23 2005, 04:55 AM
Post
#9
|
|
 Newbie Group: Member Posts: 1 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 116,648 |
its ok,
now the problem is will it get turned into a rap? |
|
|
|
| *wind&fire* |
Mar 23 2005, 04:52 PM
Post
#10
|
|
Guest |
im not being prejeduce buti dont like it
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 23 2005, 05:04 PM
Post
#11
|
|
 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
you need work, you should stick to your raps.
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 23 2005, 05:11 PM
Post
#12
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,172 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,045 |
rap IS poetry ..
hah, that be so funny if he stole this poem from somewhere, too .. google time ! =P hm, didn't find any matches. lol good job jason |
|
|
|
|
Mar 24 2005, 12:00 AM
Post
#13
|
|
|
Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
yeah but you dont call a sonnet, free verse. there are different types of poetry. rap is shallow poetry. believe it or not. he should tread in the shallow end.
"poetry is the grandest of all the fine arts, easiest to dabble and hardest to master." |
|
|
|
|
Mar 24 2005, 03:14 PM
Post
#14
|
|
 t3h koolest guy in cB Group: Member Posts: 2,194 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 513 |
QUOTE(jambaJUICE @ Mar 22 2005, 7:29 PM) agreed. IMO, i think it's best if you stick to this.[/font] lol i agree. hahaha... 
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 24 2005, 03:17 PM
Post
#15
|
|
 ¢¾ Wanting it. ¢¾ Group: Member Posts: 2,060 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,234 |
 thank god it wasnt a rap
|
|
|
|
| *nightmare4taki* |
Mar 24 2005, 03:34 PM
Post
#16
|
|
Guest |
He probaly copied it from somewhere else. I don't trust Jason for nothing now that he has been exposed.
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 25 2005, 12:31 AM
Post
#17
|
|
 Yawn Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,530 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 65,772 |
Whoa, hold the phone. Jason didn't write a rap?! he wrote a poem??! what is the world coming too???!?!?!!? lol jk jason, i thought it was pretty good, kinda turned into a rap at the end, but i admire ur persistance :) hehe
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 25 2005, 03:25 PM
Post
#18
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 499 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 109,961 |
This is the first poem I actually understood...and I didn't have to re-read it...It's realli good!!!...I love the message behind it..how you still love this person and you'll always be there if she/he changes his/her mind...thats soOo good!!!..
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 25 2005, 09:39 PM
Post
#19
|
|
|
Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,575 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,957 |
better than your raps, but the last three lines only rhyme because you used the same word at the end of all of them.
|
|
|
|
|
Mar 25 2005, 09:39 PM
Post
#20
|
|
 dizzy me up. Group: Member Posts: 3,191 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,139 |
i like it
|
|
|
|
|
Apr 10 2005, 05:34 PM
Post
#21
|
|
 ticktock. Group: Member Posts: 1,138 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 118,235 |
i dont get it
|
|
|
|
 |
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: