finis, vague yet so very not. |
| *stephinika* |
 Mar 13 2005, 06:38 PM
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#1
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a little something written today...not my best i don't think but i kinda like it. constructive criticism is appreciated, thank you.
Finis Slowly dying within A knife constantly twisting Deeper and deeper Writhing inside Nothing But brief instants of comfort are found And nowhere else But from the obvious and forbidden Except the two unconsciously Grow nearer and nearer The defining line slowly becoming Nothing but thin wire Constantly on the brink of breaking In fear yet in hope Of the two joining as one As to not be continually yearning For one or the other With a pitiful attempt to push the latter Heartbreakingly farther away Conflicts and battles as such Quickly add to the endless expanse of pain Already there and simply waiting to accumulate As each plight, each struggle Piles on top of each other Any happiness abound Is a mere rush of euphoria And once the high comes crashing back down Nothing is left But blank remnants Of what used to be. |
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Mar 13 2005, 07:23 PM
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#2
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Brie  Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Aw, I like it a lot!
Nice job, Steph. My favorite part was the very beginning. :D |
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Mar 13 2005, 11:04 PM
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 hello : ) Group: Official Member Posts: 4,227 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,139 |
I love your writing Steph. It's always amazing. Your use of words is just...wow...I love it =) I have to agree with Brie, I really love the beginning.
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| *islandgirl4eva* |
Mar 14 2005, 11:04 PM
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You're so descriptive Steph! The way you use words to paint this picture...it's startling. I love it too!
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| *stephinika* |
Mar 15 2005, 01:14 AM
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thanks guys.
 that means a lot.
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Mar 15 2005, 12:25 PM
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 Another ditch in the road... you keep moving Group: Member Posts: 6,281 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,152 |
it is awesome. u'r probably the best writer on CB..... anyway the first five lines are my favorite
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Mar 15 2005, 04:22 PM
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#7
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 highfive. Group: Member Posts: 1,301 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,951 |
i love all your poems! ^ I agree! Steph is the by far the best writer in cB.
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Mar 15 2005, 06:29 PM
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 Change Gon Come Group: Member Posts: 2,286 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,822 |
that would be great to say aloud =]
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Mar 15 2005, 08:42 PM
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#9
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I am Sandy. Hear me roar. Group: Member Posts: 1,152 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,896 |
its gorgeous. very descriptive. i love it.
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| *stephinika* |
Mar 15 2005, 11:43 PM
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#10
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QUOTE(MarchHare2UrAlice @ Mar 15 2005, 9:25 AM) it is awesome. u'r probably the best writer on CB..... anyway the first five lines are my favorite  QUOTE(xd0rkette @ Mar 15 2005, 1:22 PM) i love all your poems! ^ I agree! Steph is the by far the best writer in cB.  that is such a compliment, and from you james! i love your stuff so much... that seriously means a lot. you guys rock. 
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