Trapped, Critique please! |
Trapped, Critique please! |
Mar 5 2005, 10:18 PM
Post
#1
|
|
![]() My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
I've been doing a lot of critique-ing myself (not neccessarily on createblog) and I think I deserve some brutal honesty. I wrote this poem a few days ago. A whirlpool of my darkness on paper.
Trapped Inescapable darkness, Repeated failures, Constant miseries, It's so dark. The world, Cast shadows, On me, I can't find the light. |
|
|
|
![]() |
| *stephinika* |
Mar 6 2005, 01:16 AM
Post
#2
|
|
Guest |
simple, yet good.
|
|
|
|
Mar 6 2005, 04:44 AM
Post
#3
|
|
![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 109 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 91,204 |
Not bad at all, I personally found this piece a bit vague... from my interpertation anyways. I get the dark image and all but I just don't exactly get what you're trapped in specifically having the fact that there could be many things. Keep up the good work though.
|
|
|
|
![]() ![]() |