how awkward., parents and their assumptions... Options

[*stephinika*]

okay well this is kind of a ranty post but there is a point i swear...
well i went away to whistler from friday to sunday with my best guy friend and his family...now we're nothing more than that and i have a boyfriend...
so anyways, i'm really close with this guy and yeah so i hug him a lot and whatnot but that's normal...and on the way home in the car i was sleeping and leaning on him. thats not that bad is it? and we went to the hot tub at the hotel together alone (like just us 2)...and duh we didn't do anything bad. and we're both 16 btw. and we're asian.
anyways, when we got home we were chatting and he said his mom was mad but wouldn't say why...eventually she did. she thought we were too "close" (for ex. the leaning in the car, hot tub) and according to him her view of me has "changed". crap. what the eff...how awkward is that.
what would you do in this situation? he's going to talk to her tomorrow he said when he gives her the thank you card from me (my mom told me to give them one and yeah thats understandable since they took me with them) so yeah i hope he fixes it but still...he didn't say it but i understand what she's thinking - his mom thinks i'm a ho.
opinions? what would you do? etc...

sorry its long. but yeah. this is kinda upsetting...i thought she liked me.
well she did. but yeah. bleah.

[gigiopolis]

That is quite upsetting. I understand your situation, but coming from your guy friend's point of view. This is exactly the type of thing that my mom would do.

My mom is very emotional at times, and whenever one of my friend or his/her parents do something to annoy or offend her, she completely turns around them. She always goes around calling my friends whores, good for nothing, idiotic people. She's racist too, and she calls my friends racist names.

It's really really upsetting to me, I cry all the time over it, because she never understand the situations. I get mad at her for getting mad at my friends, which in turn gets her mad at ME because she thinks that I think my friends are more important that she is.

I think if you apologize to her, it'll be fine. Of course, it's hardly fair for YOU to be the one to apologize, but do it anyway. She'll appreciate the act.

[topsyturvy]

My mom is very emotional at times, and whenever one of my friend or his/her parents do something to annoy or offend her, she completely turns around them. She always goes around calling my friends whores, good for nothing, idiotic people. She's racist too, and she calls my friends racist names.

It's really really upsetting to me, I cry all the time over it, because she never understand the situations. I get mad at her for getting mad at my friends, which in turn gets her mad at ME because she thinks that I think my friends are more important that she is.

Wow. That's just not right. Your mom should know that she isn't any less important than your friends, or more, for that matter.

I think if you apologize to her, it'll be fine. Of course, it's hardly fair for YOU to be the one to apologize, but do it anyway. She'll appreciate the act.

Well.. she might think it's weird that you're going up to her and apologizing for nothing. You did nothing wrong. It's her that should get a life.

But maybe she's mad at you for your actions (leaning on him, hot tub) cuz from what I understood, I thought you liked the guy. I think your actions are a bit too provoking / leading him on. Maybe she's trying to protect her son from getting a broken heart.. since you already have a bf.

I think you should wait till after your bf gives her the thank you card. If she's still being unfair, then think about apologizing or confronting her.

[*stephinika*]

thanks for the advice guys...and i'm sorry to hear that gigi but yeah i'm not sure how i'd apologize just yet...it'd be weird. i'll wait a bit. and to K!$$, see the thing is i don't like him and he knows that...we're just close. its not like we were doing anything horrible thats why its bothering me but thanks to both of you...i'm feeling a bit better.

[inthemudhole]

Ah, I'm sorry about your situation. =/

Hm..
I think I'd try and talk to her about it if I felt brave enough...I get nervous around adults...but that's just me.

Anyway, I'd either try and talk to her about it or I'd just leave it as is.
She's probably just getting defensive because she might think you two are getting too close.

I have no idea.
I'd try and talk to her about it, or I'd tell my parents about it and tell my parents to give her a call.

Good luck.

[*Programmer*]

damn Haterz....
*brushes his shoudlers off*
hey steph
your letting people get to you steph....
don't let them get into your head...
his mom's not deciding your future...
i know it might hurt...
but you know yourself your not a h0e...
so this is not a thing to get worked up about...
just squash it and brush your shoulders off...

[*stephinika*]

thanks brie & rico...i'll try my best to do what you said rico. i'm trying not to but its so hard...i don't know why its bothering me so damn much...he told me not to worry cause i apologized to him about causing so much trouble and he told me not to let it bug me and i'm trying but yeah...

[dahding]

oh come on steph, u can't let ur friend's mom piss u off. thats just whack.
"wiggidy whack? no, just normal whack." haha, sorry, just remembered that line from homestarrunner.com. h'okay, so lets say, ur actions were a little provoking. we all know u didn't mean anything by it, cause he's just ur best guy friend and u have a bf. try to act less "provoking" around his mom. yeah, i kno, its just best friend shtuff, but according to the mom, tis not. so just bs about ur actions. when u two are just chilling around each other without her hanging around, then whatever. and if u say sorry or something to her, she's gonna get defensive and maybe angry at ur friend for telling u about it. its just gonna be weeirrrd...

hope it all works out for u stephh.

[*stephinika*]

hehe dustin you rock my socks. i'm slowly feeling better...and yeah i'm in class right now but anyways, thanks a ton to all of you.
and homestarrunner rocks.

[dahding]

hehe dustin you rock my socks. i'm slowly feeling better...and yeah i'm in class right now but anyways, thanks a ton to all of you.
and homestarrunner rocks.

tsk tsk, going on cb during class time.

yay for steph. haha, i love strong sad. he's so depressed and funny. someone should slip him some coffee...again.

[Skyline Drive]

I'd have coffee with her and talk to her about it.
It shows character. That way she knows that you care what she thinks.

That's all that I can think of.. It's basically what everyone else said.
Whatever you decide to do.. I hope it goes well Good Luck.

[divinity_star]

When you talk to her tell her that you have seen things in light of her perception and that you understand where she is coming from but explain yourself. If she doesn't understand it was nothing more than what it was then theres nothing you can do. Parents are crazy like that.

Also, what was the point of saying that your asian have to do with anything?

[ixuraznhunnyxi]

For some reason i feel as if most asian parents are like that but i wouldn't know. I think what you did was fine but from my parents point of view they would think that as disrespectful to the family. They would just get pissed off at me and my boyfriend if we held hands, hugged, or if i was in his arms when we are at the house or around them and family memebers. Maybe its because we aint old enough or something; I dont know maybe its how elders think.

[Chii]

sadly...your guy friend's mom will probably never really change her opinion of you, she may rethink it because of your thank you letter and your guy friend's explanation, but in the back of her mind she'll still believe what she believes, most people are like that. i think K!$$ is right, his mom doesn't want her baby boy's heart to be broken.

my parents didn't allow me to have guy friends when i was a little younger because my dad believed (and still does ) that someday my guy friend will be my boyfriend. i think that parents want to shelter their children from the opposite sex because they think that it's inevitable that attraction will occur, they don't believe that a guy and a girl can just be friends. in all my experiences, i can never have a close guy friend, i always end up liking them...so my parents were right about me. but you can probably handle having a close guy friend because from what i understand, you've been friends for a long time. the thing with you being in the hot tub alone with him is probably pretty disrespectful in her mind because you're both young and already really close...plus you have a boyfriend so to her that may seem slutty...

since she knows that he cares a lot about you and you already have someone, she probably doesn't want you to lead him on...

but anyway, i wish you good luck, you're a pretty cool person, you don't need this sh*t in your life

[pink_tootsie]

wow..tell her to eff off!!! hahah j/k!
well just have a one one one talk with her and see how things will go..who knows what will happen..

[xj_liana_tx]

if i say "hi"to a guy, my parents'll think we have something going on and tell me not to have sex for 2 weeks.

act really normal around them, make it obvious that you are treating him just like your girlfriends, joke with his mom, wear decent cloth.

[with_time_it_fad...]

OM My friend assumed that me and a guy friend were making out and I had something going on with someone else. She was so ticked off at me. She wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the day. I laughed so hard when I found out why she was mad.

[*stephinika*]

yes dustin...aren't i rebel? hehe and yeah i love strongbad...too funny. thanks again!

divinity_star, i said i was asian cause you know...the whole asian parents thing...i don't know. *shrug* meh.
chii, thanks for your input...and yeah i can see the whole leading on thing but we're best friends...its so weird for me to comprehend that that's all...and i think she knows how long i've been with my boyfriend...i think. anyways, yeah we've been together over a year so i would never lead him on...my best friend doesn't like me like that anyways. *shrug* meh. thanks again

and thanks again everyone...i don't see her often so i think i'll just see what happens when i next see her and i hope that thank you card makes her feel a bit better about me at least....