Log In · Register

 

Humor Forum Rules

Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.

The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:


NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.

NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.


Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.

Thank you.

funny nightmares
*Fallen_Fairy*
post Feb 12 2005, 08:19 AM
Post #1





Guest
NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she climaxed. Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"
NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"
 
2 Pages V   1 2 >  
 Start new topic
Replies (1 - 36)
lilxroxy
post Feb 12 2005, 09:27 AM
Post #2


because i'm worth it
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 990
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 24,643
LOL oh em gee. ahha. nice one[s] ( :
 
sweetdreamsx3
post Feb 12 2005, 02:47 PM
Post #3


Senior Member
*******

Group: Member
Posts: 5,585
Joined: Aug 2004
Member No: 38,082
The second one is soooo ewwww and I'm eating. -.-
 
oXMuhNirvanaXo
post Feb 12 2005, 02:53 PM
Post #4


Senior Member
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,614
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 85,903
I love them they are so funny I didnt get the 3edon as much as the other 2 but they where really funny .. Good ones biggrin.gif
 
demolished
post Feb 12 2005, 03:58 PM
Post #5


Senior Member
*******

Group:
Posts: 8,274
Joined: Mar 2004
Member No: 8,001
i like the first one, it's hilarouis and disgusting.
 
Trolling
post Feb 12 2005, 07:19 PM
Post #6


Running
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 596
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 96,064
Third one was the best... Id love to meet that kinda of family 0.0
 
azngrl7691
post Feb 12 2005, 08:13 PM
Post #7


Senior Member
****

Group: Member
Posts: 205
Joined: Aug 2004
Member No: 36,652
i already heard the first one i thought the third was funniest
 
dani41790
post Feb 12 2005, 08:33 PM
Post #8


Hi! I'm Dani :)
*******

Group: Member
Posts: 5,637
Joined: Feb 2004
Member No: 3,369
rofl! the second one is completely wrong
 
cocoalightning27
post Feb 12 2005, 09:49 PM
Post #9


I have no life
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,119
Joined: Nov 2004
Member No: 66,675
Lol these are funny
 
lilphoenix
post Feb 12 2005, 10:30 PM
Post #10


I'm just a little bit crazy...
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,119
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 19,760
Whoa... Loved them all.

QUOTE(hosing @ Feb 12 2005, 7:19 PM)
Third one was the best... Id love to meet that kinda of family 0.0

Easy... put your hand on the intercom of the house.
 
exbhai
post Feb 13 2005, 02:04 AM
Post #11


Newbie
*

Group: Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 99,225
Seriously funny stuff, second one was a bit... grotty though
 
jnukes
post Feb 13 2005, 04:13 AM
Post #12


Senior Member
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,172
Joined: Jul 2004
Member No: 34,045
tha third was tha best .. tha 2nd was next best .. tha 3rd one .. i've heard sooo many times ....
 
Wishful_Dream
post Feb 13 2005, 06:38 AM
Post #13


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 575
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 92,400
whoa.. those are scary.. x.x
 
SMUSHiENESS
post Feb 13 2005, 09:30 AM
Post #14


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 452
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 97,814
0.0 ewww the 2st and 2nd ones are just, bleh... lols but the 3rd one is LMAO funnieness
 
lilxroxy
post Feb 16 2005, 07:01 AM
Post #15


because i'm worth it
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 990
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 24,643
i told my guy friends..and it freaked them out tongue.gif
 
pandamonium
post Feb 16 2005, 10:00 AM
Post #16


cheeeesy like theres no tomorrow
*******

Group: Member
Posts: 3,316
Joined: Aug 2004
Member No: 37,142
ahha thats a great one lol i love all of them.
 
swtchangel
post Feb 16 2005, 06:19 PM
Post #17


KUH - rasy .
**

Group: Member
Posts: 20
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 83,456
ahahah hilarious ! i loved them all happy.gif
 
xbr0kensmil3
post Feb 16 2005, 07:04 PM
Post #18


whatever d00de
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,349
Joined: Nov 2004
Member No: 63,060
lmao the 3rd one's hilarious
 
mai_z
post Feb 16 2005, 09:21 PM
Post #19


unify and defeat... divide and crumble
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,759
Joined: Mar 2004
Member No: 6,379
Lmao i love the last one...how is that a nightmare?? i'm sure any guy would love that
 
literemix24
post Feb 20 2005, 12:55 PM
Post #20


Jessica
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 480
Joined: Jul 2004
Member No: 29,118
lol. x] wow these are pretty funnie.
 
Archana
post Feb 20 2005, 09:23 PM
Post #21


Senior Member
****

Group: Member
Posts: 290
Joined: Jun 2004
Member No: 22,423

Haha. "You'll wake your mom"
rofl. (^__^)*
 
MiLKDUD_DOKiE
post Feb 20 2005, 10:24 PM
Post #22


live life to the fullest <3
***

Group: Member
Posts: 97
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 101,474
FUNNY<3 but the second one is weird o.O
 
shortiiex
post Feb 21 2005, 08:24 PM
Post #23


Senior Member
*******

Group: Official Member
Posts: 6,953
Joined: Oct 2004
Member No: 52,702
LMFAO.....
 
*Fallen_Fairy*
post Feb 21 2005, 09:23 PM
Post #24





Guest
I'm glad ya'll liked them. I'll see if I can find some more. =)
 
Animelover113
post Feb 21 2005, 11:30 PM
Post #25


don't leave me alone again
****

Group: Member
Posts: 134
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 103,313
hahahahaha! those are funny
 
5ayuri
post Mar 15 2005, 07:10 PM
Post #26


Too slow.
******

Group: Member
Posts: 2,730
Joined: Mar 2005
Member No: 108,320
hahaa i liked the first 2 better but there all funny
 
gaby
post Mar 23 2005, 06:20 PM
Post #27


Senior Member
***

Group: Member
Posts: 58
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 85,730
Those are so funny. The second one is so gross. They are still hilarious.
 
*salcha*
post Mar 24 2005, 12:27 AM
Post #28





Guest
aghhh those were seriously nightmares lol
 
FoOd
post Mar 24 2005, 12:37 AM
Post #29


Senior Member
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 913
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 101,212
Omigosh, those are all bad nightmares laugh.gif
 
misoshiru
post Mar 24 2005, 09:01 AM
Post #30


yan lin♥
********

Group: Staff Alumni
Posts: 14,129
Joined: Apr 2004
Member No: 13,627
hahahahahahh..the 2nd one was so wrong.
 
*mzkandi*
post Mar 24 2005, 06:30 PM
Post #31





Guest
ok i had this crazy nightmare....

i just finished watching jurassic park and decided to go to bed. in my dream the trex was chasing me and my family all around town. my next door neighbor tried to hide all my family in her closet but the trex ate her...i woke up in shock

the next week i had the sequel to the dream....the trex was chasing me and my family in some mudd, and it was like we were running in slow motion...we finally get the edge of the cliff and all jump off but the trex jumps off too and falls on us then i wake up......
 
Levy2k6
post Mar 24 2005, 07:11 PM
Post #32


Word.
*******

Group: Member
Posts: 3,004
Joined: Jul 2004
Member No: 34,673
i heard them all but I really enjoyed the last one.. lol.
 
WrathOfOnigo
post Mar 24 2005, 09:42 PM
Post #33


Hah! Its funny cause its true...
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 640
Joined: Jan 2005
Member No: 89,954
The first one is funny.
The second one is disturbing.
The third one I have heard before but it is still funny. laugh.gif
 
tobeyum
post Mar 25 2005, 07:53 AM
Post #34


dmnfckr
****

Group: Member
Posts: 101
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 103,475
hahaha.. the first one's the funniest laugh.gif
 
Trolling
post Mar 25 2005, 11:23 AM
Post #35


Running
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 596
Joined: Feb 2005
Member No: 96,064
I wouldnt mind the 3rd one... Dad sounds coolies to me
 
swe3ttemptasian
post Mar 25 2005, 01:00 PM
Post #36


to be loved by someone you love is.. everything
******

Group: Member
Posts: 1,207
Joined: Sep 2004
Member No: 51,205
hahah the 3rd one is the funniest!
 
blah1234567
post Mar 25 2005, 08:27 PM
Post #37


<3
*****

Group: Member
Posts: 831
Joined: Dec 2004
Member No: 74,326
the second one was the worst
 
« Next Oldest · Humor · Next Newest »
 

2 Pages V   1 2 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

Display Mode: Switch to: Standard · Linear+ · Switch to: Outline

Track this topic · Email this topic · Print this topic