as much as i don't want to talk to my dad, i HAVE to now. i jus duno how to start. Options

[cewinee]

ok here's the deal. in a year or even less we're going to be applying for colleges for me to study at. or more like my PARENTS will do that..

the problem is.. everytime they talk about wat college i should go to and making plans and everything, they never ask me where I want to go to, what my opinion is. because hello! it's ME going, its MY future. however its of course my fault as well that they don't know what i want because i never speak up. like today as usual, they brought it up again and instead of speaking up i jus sat there eating and listening to what they were saying, having no reaction to it but feel so angry inside. that's not right, i have to say something or else they think it's ok with me that theyre making the decisions for me..

ok the real problem is that.. my dad and i have no relationship together, he knows nothing bout me n i know nothing about him except for the negative things bout ourselves. when we do try to talk we end up fighting. we can't get along.

my mom knows this and she knows what i really want but she wants me to be the one to tell my dad myself and she's right. and my boyfriend told me the same. it's just so much pressure on me you can't imagine. because it's something personal and talking personally like that with my dad is like telling someone i've never met on the street that i see everyday and already hate, about my personal life. it's so much pressure. i don't know where to start. i don't want to go to the places my dad wants to send me. i know wat i want.. he just doesnt know it. i have to talk to him and i know that and i have no choice.. it's jus how do i start? i'm scared i won't get wat i want in the end. i have to convince him properly. what do i do? wat do i say? wat reasons do you give ur parents when u say u want to study somwhere ur parents dont want u to?

help =(

[cocoalightning27]

Tell him what you just told us

[cewinee]

Tell him what you just told us

hAHah oh yeah.. nice

[to-devastate]

lols.
Okay. Take baby steps. You know that you will have to speak up if you want something. Maybe your dad is just thinking that you might like what he's saying because you never tell him that you don't. Make a better connection with him. In one day, ask him how his day went. Simple. Another day, talk about interests. Just take it slow. And if you feel like you really getting along with him, then tell him. Good luck :]

[Shattered_Hope]

tell him the truth...*lol* you can start by telling him what you just told us.

[xXirockhardXx]

yeah i agree with wut everybody said just tell him what you told us and if you want to tell him about the collage (not sure if you spell it like that lol) <-- not the point well maybe one night when your parents bring it up just say something like wut do you guys think about the school (insert school name here lol) and tell them youve been thinking of going there hope evrything works out

[*stephinika*]

yeah i agree with the rest too...i'm sure it'll be very hard but you have to. just tell him the truth...he's your dad, he should understand though it may take some time.

[lilJdawg]

I know how your feeling. My parents are like that, they both don't know anything about me. Everytime i talk to my mom, we end up fighting. Since my parent's are divorced my dad is okay, he's not like that, only sometimes. I think you should just tell your dad what you told us, i mean he's your dad & he will understand it eventually. give him some time. if you don't speak up you'll be getting something that you don't want.

[gnawxela]

lols.
Okay. Take baby steps. You know that you will have to speak up if you want something. Maybe your dad is just thinking that you might like what he's saying because you never tell him that you don't. Make a better connection with him. In one day, ask him how his day went. Simple. Another day, talk about interests. Just take it slow. And if you feel like you really getting along with him, then tell him. Good luck :]

thats some good advice, you should start by building a relationship with your dad and also you can talk to your mom about college and stuff...wait, do YOU apply to colleges and not them? what about your personal statement and stuff? *is confused*

[gnawxela]

oh, and i guess i have kinda the same problem as you, i have like, talking issues with my mom but its not as serious and one day i just like told her how i felt about my relationship with her, and it really really really helped i hope this works out for you

[mistaken_identit...]

I think you should take one step at a time. Just try and talk to him casually about his day, how's he doing and stuff. It's hard to start but once you break the ice everything gets easier.

About your college problem, well, you can tell them, if you don't get to go to the college you want to, then you wouldn't study as well. 'Cause...it's hard to study well when you don't even like the school. I'm sure he'll listen to you, he's your dad and I suppose he wants you to be happy.

[misoshiru]

ouch, that's hard. yeah, take it one step at a time. maybe you should talk about other stuff w/ him first like "small talk" and then slowly move on to the whole college thing. good luck.

[cewinee]

I think you should take one step at a time. Just try and talk to him casually about his day, how's he doing and stuff. It's hard to start but once you break the ice everything gets easier.

About your college problem, well, you can tell them, if you don't get to go to the college you want to, then you wouldn't study as well. 'Cause...it's hard to study well when you don't even like the school. I'm sure he'll listen to you, he's your dad and I suppose he wants you to be happy.

yeah thats great thanks =) i loved all ur advices btw ^__^ pls lemme know of good reasons of why i should go to the college that iii choose to go!! =( cuz he'll ask WHY WHY WHY hahah =) lemme knoww

[leeniex3]

you should just tell him what you just told us ... doesnt have to be liek DAD WE GOTTA TALK it could just be like during dinner and explain everything and maybe he'll finally understand? you dont always got to start off well as long as you END well ^^v

[misoshiru]

why? err...what college do you want to go to? i think it'll be easier for me to answer your question if you tell me the college you're choosing. hahah.

[sammehmyst]

Tell him what you just told us

That is the perfect way.
(500th post BTW )

[shortiiex]

i don't have a realionship with my dad either b/c i don't want to talk to him, i'm am really close with my mom and she listens to me and allows me to make my own decsions.
You just tell them and then yell(if you are brave enough) and then tell them they failed as parents or something like that

[mistaken_identit...]

I don't know about colleges and how good you think certain ones are, but, generally for all schools it's just what you think. When you like the school, it's just sorta comes with it you do better, cause you feel happier.

[bad_girl]

talk to ur mom, then. she'll sort things out. my dad n i fight all the time too.. so i end up ignoring him.. lol. u've got to talk to them.. it's the only way u'll have a happy ending..

[cewinee]

I don't know about colleges and how good you think certain ones are, but, generally for all schools it's just what you think. When you like the school, it's just sorta comes with it you do better, cause you feel happier.

EXACTLY.. thanks i didnt know how to say that =) thanks thank