Technicolor But Still Deprived, Poem |
 Jan 11 2005, 03:50 PM
Post
#1
|
|
 Crying Behind Blind Eyes  Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967  |
Technicolor But Still Deprived
By: Savannah I tried to blur your face out with the sky, And sink into my own technicolor oblivion. I let the sun freeze to just a glaciar, And the grass catch on blazing fire. People lost their faces in a neon swirl, And the paint was thrown at random on the world. Destroying reality, and reviving what's true, Just to erase your image, and forget what I knew. Oxygen became a drug like substance, In the end breathing really did kill. The moon went out, but the stars remained, Something had to stay to drive us all insane. And people thought it strange when they began to lose their voice, They're all so stupid not to realize it's only noise. Sink into this different world, let loose in this deliriuim, Refuse to follow orders, worship your own religion. Trees and flowers then grew human features, And wildlife began to think we were the real creatures. Life became how it was meant to be; peaceful and quiet, Living without hating; Living without loving; Maybe you should try it. Clouds became a copper tone, hanging in the sky, Putrid poison rains now, destroying what was mine. Who would have thought that to wish you away, Would start to change everyone... And who would have thought, That through everything...I would stay the same. |
|
|
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 9)
|
Jan 11 2005, 05:55 PM
Post
#2
|
|
|
Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Whoa, that's awesome.
I really like your word choice. Nice job! 
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 11 2005, 06:24 PM
Post
#3
|
|
|
Crying Behind Blind Eyes Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
QUOTE(Despise @ Jan 11 2005, 5:55 PM) Whoa, that's awesome. I really like your word choice. Nice job!  Thank you very much ^_^!!! |
|
|
|
|
Jan 11 2005, 06:54 PM
Post
#4
|
|
 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
Yeah like Brie said. The word choice you did is wonderful. It reminds me when I read Justin's essay hehe. He used a lot of good words to make it more appealing and sounded so interesting :D
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 11 2005, 07:34 PM
Post
#5
|
|
|
Crying Behind Blind Eyes Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
QUOTE(angel_roh @ Jan 11 2005, 6:54 PM) Yeah like Brie said. The word choice you did is wonderful. It reminds me when I read Justin's essay hehe. He used a lot of good words to make it more appealing and sounded so interesting :D That's what I wanted to do with this poem. Make it be appealing. I'm glad people think it is ^^ |
|
|
|
|
Jan 11 2005, 09:18 PM
Post
#6
|
|
 The Bone Collector Group: Member Posts: 2,860 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,162 |
Your word choice is awsome! I really like how you put a vivid image in my head! Good job!
|
|
|
|
| *salcha* |
Jan 11 2005, 10:16 PM
Post
#7
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE Sink into this different world, let loose in this deliriuim, Refuse to follow orders, worship your own religion. Trees and flowers then grew human features, And wildlife began to think we were the real creatures. Life became how it was meant to be; peaceful and quiet, Living without hating; Living without loving; Maybe you should try it. Clouds became a copper tone, hanging in the sky, that gives me kind of a tranquility..like im drifting off..nice, nice |
|
|
|
|
Jan 13 2005, 05:26 PM
Post
#8
|
|
|
Crying Behind Blind Eyes Group: Member Posts: 257 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,967 |
Thanks everybody ^_^ I'm really glad you like it. I don't know where the idea for it came from. It was just a....pen and pencil poem, where you write without really knowing how it will come out.
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 17 2005, 04:41 PM
Post
#9
|
|
 LunchboxXx Group: Member Posts: 1,789 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,810 |
EFFing nice. keep up the good work.
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 17 2005, 09:18 PM
Post
#10
|
|
 Canadian Boyfriend, I think it's time Group: Member Posts: 450 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 40,705 |
QUOTE(ryfitaDF @ Jan 17 2005, 4:41 PM) EFFing nice. keep up the good work. Dito. That was amazing. I agree with everyone else. It makes you drift off and....tranquil. ^^ I loved it. You're awesome. |
|
|
|
 |
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: