Messing with Telemarketers Options

[TheSilenceInDict...]

I'm sure we all have our ways of dealing with them.
Some of us put up with it, or retaliate with rudeness. And the small few of us choose to be humorous about it.

For me, I either...

• Speak in a fake asian accent and try to frustrate the crap out of them, leading them around in circles
• I go 'Uh-huh, yeah, that's nice', and hang up.
• If I'm in a more lousier mood then usual, I'll simply say 'F*ck off' and hang up.

Share your telemarketer experiences, pranks or things you'd like to do.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

haha, oh man. I just... go along with it I'll listen to everything they have to say and after everything they'll ask me if i'm 18... no... if my parents are home... no... then they say bye and hang up but still a waste of both our times

[EvraeMorbid]

Hahah My older brother loves to pester them by doing:

*Speaking really fast
*Saying 'Could you repeat that?' over and over
*Make them explain everything, then at the end say 'Nope, I already have one/Not intrested'
*Saying 'Seven Days'
*Speaking Jibberish
*Speak in a baby voice, and when they ask for the parent say they were abudcted by aliens.
.....They actually have a website about pranks for just messing with telemarketers.

[dreamerOi]

gaahaa. i just say theyr not home. then hang up. but if they keeeeeeep talking and asking i might get annoyed >< &just hang up. but im not one to cuss at them unless i get reallyyyyy annoyed. &congrats on your first topic. haha.

[TheSilenceInDict...]

.....They actually have a website about pranks for just messing with telemarketers.

I bet they do.
If you can, link it up.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

oh man, that web site is hilfuccinarious!

[Justingamemaster]

hmm...when the damn telemarketers call...I enjoy pressing numbers on the phone repetitively.

Also i like to make a constant "A" note. And sing. And talk to them casually. It's really fun! And sometimes you can have a conversation.

[XaZnX07]

haha, oh man. I just... go along with it I'll listen to everything they have to say and after everything they'll ask me if i'm 18... no... if my parents are home... no... then they say bye and hang up but still a waste of both our times

haha i do that too but sometimes i dont want to let them finish so i cut in and ssay i am not over 18 and my parents are not home and say bye

[sweetdreamsx3]

Lol, I should try these things.

For me, if it's a real life person and not a voice recording, I press the phone button continously. :P

Or I literally scream hello into the phone until they stop and say something else. :D It's fun.

[T00000]

sorry but that's extremely rude. telemarketers are people also, and they're trying to get a job. it's very immature and disrespectful for you to not respect that. they aren't doing that just to be annoying, they are trying to make a decent living, and if you are unable to buy the service they offer don't waste their time by harassing them!

[*tweeak*]

"more lousier" ?

my friend picked up the phone and cursed them out for 5 minutes until he realized it was for some charitably cause and he felt rather guilty and didnt answer the phone for the next week

[TheSilenceInDict...]

"more lousier" ?

Haha, yes, just like 'More stupider'

sorry but that's extremely rude. telemarketers are people also, and they're trying to get a job. it's very immature and disrespectful for you to not respect that. they aren't doing that just to be annoying, they are trying to make a decent living, and if you are unable to buy the service they offer don't waste their time by harassing them!

Yes, I agree it's rude, but...in a sense, aren't they harsassing me as well? Aw come on, loosen up, you gotta admit it's pretty funny.

[Nicolatofu]

I just say no one's home, and if i am frustrated then i hang up on them but i feel bad afterwards, because think about all the people that hang up on them a day. It would be really frustrating
<---(never knew there was a poop smiley thing! lol)

[*jooleeah*]

Most of the time i just say " no, my parents aren't home, sorry, bye" cause i feel sorry for them...but when they're acting rude, i just hang up. lol, my friend has this button on her phone where if some unimportant telemarketer calls, she'll press it and it'll say " call again, and we'll sue you" it's funny :D

[inthemudhole]

I don't answer. =(

Or I go HUH!?!? after everything they say.
Yeah, I'm soo creative. T_T

[Oreo_bro]

lol my best one was like this

Me: Hello?
TM: Hi Im ____ and im here to talk to you about Kerry
Me: Talk about what
TM: Im wanting to tell you some things about him, and why you should vote for him.
Me: Why
TM: Because he needs your vote sir, now if you would let me begin..
Me: Why
TM: Sir please im trying to tell you..
Me: Why
TM: Sir would you PLEASE let me talk?
Me: I like cheese
TM: *silence*
Me: Okay you can talk now
TM: Uh..thank you...

he then explains stuff, says stuff, im playing my PS2 so i dont care.

TM: So sir will u be votting for kerry?
Me: Im sorry i was playing a game can u please repeat that disccusion
TM: You know what sir? i dont think kerry NEEDS your damn vote, you seem like an irresponsible little kid!
Me: Sure, im 17, and your the one who called me
TM: Fine what ever
Me: One more thing
TM: WHAT
Me: GO BUSH!
TM: FU*K YOU!
Me: Nah your gf is better.
*CLICK*







That conversation took like 10 mins, i felt so much better cause i was in a bad mood ^_^

[expoised]

haha i saw a website with telemarketer pranks on it.

i only tried once.

i waited until he was done with his thing, and i was like "do i know you?"
"MY MOMMY SAYS I CAN'T TALK TO STRANGERS" and i started crying as good as i could.

[Chaos13]

everytime them telemarketing people call me i would always respond with::

"Hello! Thanks for calling pizza hut! Can i help you?"

some of them might hang up. if they dont i would always say::

"Would you like fries with that??"

[mizz_mithy]

i start rambling and asking questions like "how old are you""who are you""why is they sky blue" and "why is the grass green"
i speak german.
i speak in a fake asian accent.
when they say "can i speak to your parents" i go "i don't kno can you" then they go "may i speak to your parents" then i go "no" and hang up.

[NatiMarie]

Let's see...
I do what my mom does. She cusses in Spanish.

=O

Actually...that's for people who don't respond in the phone.

I just say that I'm not interested in the middle of their advertisement thing. I try not to be rude because I know it's a job, and somebody on the other line is struggling to make money and that's the only job they could find in that particular moment so I take that in consideration.

But what I would like to do...
I would definetly just get a siren in their ear. Yeah, and just contradict all my niceness and be a pure blitch. Maybe pretend that I'm a telemarketer as well, undercover *gasp*.

[Chaos13]

i start rambling and asking questions like "how old are you""who are you""why is they sky blue" and "why is the grass green"
i speak german.
i speak in a fake asian accent.
when they say "can i speak to your parents" i go "i don't kno can you" then they go "may i speak to your parents" then i go "no" and hang up.

Huh??? doesn't make sense. you go wha?

[mzweirdo]

everytime them telemarketing people call me i would always respond with::

"Hello! Thanks for calling pizza hut! Can i help you?"

some of them might hang up. if they dont i would always say::

"Would you like fries with that??"

lmfao! that's funny...xD

But yeah i just hang up right away if I know its a telemarketers. Err..i hate the ones that like waits a few seconds before talking and your like hello?hello?!HELLO!?..and then they go blah blah blah...haha.

[mizz_mithy]

Huh??? doesn't make sense. you go wha?

i'll do it over

TM: hi i'm selling...
me:why is the sky blue, who are you, are you married?

TM:hi i'm selling...can i speak to your parents
mei don't know can you?
TM: may i speak to your parents?
me:no you may not

TM:hi i'm selling...
me:Guten Tag

[happygoluckyng]

I just hang up...so it doesn't waste anyone's time

[aznxdreamer]

i have a little speech memorized:
hello
hes not home right now
around 7


in my obviously bored voice

[EddieV]

For me...

I ask them who they are and just when they are about to speak I just hang up...

[SarahxJoy]

My brother does this thing he calls, "Asian Express".
Lol, he does a thick chinese accent and tries to get the telemarketer to buy his "merchandise" instead.

Other than that, sometimes when they call it goes a little something like this:

Telemarketer: "Hello, are your parents home?"
Me: "I'm sorry, who?"
Telemarketer: "Are your parent's home?"
Me: "No, I'm sorry. I don't own a gnome."
Telemarketer: "What? I asked if your parents are home?"
Me: "Damn."
Telemarkter: "Huh?"
Me: "I can't find the butcher knife."
Telemarketer: *Click.*

Lol.

[xscore]

[*]Speak in a fake asian accent and try to frustrate the crap out of them, leading them around in circles

aw, you're embarrassing asians.

i just say "i'm not interested, but thanks anyway." and hang up

[HelloSunshine]

haha this is hilarious

[magnificentmike]

they're not allowed to hang up on us so i just try annoying them, its quite funny too.

ex.
"are you married?" "how many kids do you have?" "whats your social security number?" "how old are you?" "are you a dude or a dudette?" lol, and all that stuff.

[Chaos13]

hahahaha nice one tainted_angel! i like that!

[ANG33ZY]

Lol. I thought about it but I never did.

[*basick*]

i just hang up when i hear that 2-3 second pause... i dont really f**k with them cause they are just doing their job

[miss barnes]

the thing that makes me mad is that i cant understand what they are saying. most of the time they can barely speal english, so i get frustrated & hang up the phone.

[xquizit]

Well, I was a telemarketer once so I can tell you about some of the pranks/jokes on me. Some people would pretend not to speak or understand English... one guy was actually like "No espeakay engles". Some people would curse me out. Some would actually hit on me and ask questions about me. Tons just flat out hung up on me.

Not cool. But hey, the pay wasn't bad... not bad at all.

[dafunnybunny]

i just hang up. or call for my mom and give her the phone while telling her that its one of her filipino friends

[me1issaaaa]

what you do is...

when they call, you whisper "*pssssst*......... i'm wearing clean socks today.... "

[sweetxsimplicity]

[Telemarketer Repellant]

[1] If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

[2] Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

[3] If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

[4] If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."

[5] If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

[6] Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

[7] Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

[8] Insist that the caller is really your buddy, playing a joke. "Come on, , cut it out! Seriously, [buddy name], how's your momma?"

[9] Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .

[10] When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.

[teeners4]

haha i had one time when they asked me a bunch of questions for something.

tm: which mall do you usually shop at?
me: anywhere really. i just buy things.
tm: ....
me: do you have any other questions?
tm: what do you usually buy?
me: things
tm: no for example: clothes? tools? home decorators?
me: i go to the dollar store
tm: ... how old are you?
me: 14.
tm: is either of your parents home?
me: yes. my mom says hi.
tm: *hangs up*


and i always wanted to do this but no telemarketers have phoned me yet but it's like this.....

tm: hello this is "so & so" calling from "so & so"
me: ...thanks for calling.... noone's called me in the past 2 years... i've been sitting by the phone for a very long time....
tm: ....
me: i've been wondering... what it's like to die... don't you?
tm: ....
me: SO! how's life?
tm: ma'am?
me: WOW ME TOO! you know what happened? suzy was like this and that yesterday and i was like WOW REALLY!

[*wind&fire*]

sorry but that's extremely rude. telemarketers are people also, and they're trying to get a job. it's very immature and disrespectful for you to not respect that. they aren't doing that just to be annoying, they are trying to make a decent living, and if you are unable to buy the service they offer don't waste their time by harassing them!

i agree... you know the average length of time a telemarketer keeps their job is around 2 months because of al the shiat you give them, be mature and cut the crap and say sorry your not interested and hang up!

[x emo screamo x]

haha, oh man. I just... go along with it I'll listen to everything they have to say and after everything they'll ask me if i'm 18... no... if my parents are home... no... then they say bye and hang up but still a waste of both our times

HAHA.
go Elba.
<3
I do the same thing.

[redpeony]

one time i actually went along with it and got five bucks in the mail from them for an unknown reason.

most of the time i let them go on for about 10 seconds and then say SCHWAAAAAAAAAA and hang up right away.

[xTINAA]

lol my best one was like this

Me: Hello?
TM: Hi Im ____ and im here to talk to you about Kerry
Me: Talk about what
TM: Im wanting to tell you some things about him, and why you should vote for him.
Me: Why
TM: Because he needs your vote sir, now if you would let me begin..
Me: Why
TM: Sir please im trying to tell you..
Me: Why
TM: Sir would you PLEASE let me talk?
Me: I like cheese
TM: *silence*
Me: Okay you can talk now
TM: Uh..thank you...

he then explains stuff, says stuff, im playing my PS2 so i dont care.

TM: So sir will u be votting for kerry?
Me: Im sorry i was playing a game can u please repeat that disccusion
TM: You know what sir? i dont think kerry NEEDS your damn vote, you seem like an irresponsible little kid!
Me: Sure, im 17, and your the one who called me
TM: Fine what ever
Me: One more thing
TM: WHAT
Me: GO BUSH!
TM: FU*K YOU!
Me: Nah your gf is better.
*CLICK*







That conversation took like 10 mins, i felt so much better cause i was in a bad mood ^_^

HAHAHAHAHAH omg that is hecka funny =)

hmm i had a friend who would act like a little kid and start to fake cry and say their parents aren`t home because they left for the grocery store a month ago and never came back. and then go on and on about how they are starving etc.

[Ladii_D1809]

I'm ususally nice excpet this one time when a tm called and i said my mom wasn't home, then they called on my line heres the convo
Tm: Hello how are you?
Me: Good, um who is this?
tm: i am with (whatever their company was)
me: ook, how did you get this number?
tm: it is in our database mam
me: ook
tm: yes well should i tell you about our serivces?
me:um...sure, but how old do i have to be for your services?
tm: atleast 18 how old are you
me: today's my birthday!
tm: well happy birthday, how old are you?
me: 18 today!
tm: well happy birthday
me: it was happy till you called.
tm: Well sorry
me: now can i countine having a "Happy Birthday"? click
not very funny but they never call agian...
i usually say its my birthday and once this woman sang happy birthday to me i felt special!

[T00000]

god you all are so immature.

[xscore]

god you all are so immature.

seriously...

find something better to do with your time, people.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

seriously...

find something better to do with your time, people.

shall we just hang up on them then?

[jnukes]

i love it when it's a recorded messege.





"please, do not hang---" *hangs up*

[T00000]

shall we just hang up on them then?

no you should be a bit more polite, i always say "i'm sorry, but i'm not interested." is it that hard to be respectful of others??

[*tweeak*]

^yes, in fact, for most people its nearly impossible

[*AngelicEyz00*]

no you should be a bit more polite, i always say "i'm sorry, but i'm not interested." is it that hard to be respectful of others??

Of course it's not hard, seeing as I'm never disrespectful towards them

[silver-rain]

sorry but that's extremely rude. telemarketers are people also, and they're trying to get a job. it's very immature and disrespectful for you to not respect that. they aren't doing that just to be annoying, they are trying to make a decent living, and if you are unable to buy the service they offer don't waste their time by harassing them!

yeah, i agree. telemarketers don't call here, because they can't get through- i use dial-up... but when we used to get them, i'd just tell them that my parents weren't home and that we weren't interested.

[CallMeClumsy]

"oh hi. oh that's nice! OHMYGOD, are you like SERIOUS? I have like the same plan! Like yeah! Like where do you like to shop? LIKE YEAH!"

[FALLENstar009]

I either
* try to sell combs to them
* Say i can't hear you the ghost in my head are saying something
* Tell the WTF ARE YOU STALKING ME ??
* yell HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NUMBER?!
* get my brother to go MOMMIE I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL THE GUY
* or i just go.....you've reached a random pay phone by walmart if you like cookies press.....

[T00000]

Of course it's not hard, seeing as I'm never disrespectful towards them

as long as you're being nice it's okay, no one deserves rudeness for their job. it isn't their fault that society is so screwed up that people need to resort to that to make a living, and to sell products.

[whomps]

One time, I hung up on a telemarketer and she called back. It was kinda scary.. but I just told her my phone died.

[mzteriouzme007]

i recommen... I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH, GODDAMMIT! U KEEP CALLING! I KEEP TELLING YOU TO STOP! GO AWAY! JUST BECAUSE I'M RETARTED DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THAT I CAN LET YOU HAVE MY MONEY! WHO IN THE WORLD TOLD YOU THAT I CAN DO THAT? BECAUSE UNDER THE RULE OF MY OLD OLD WRINKLING ANCESTORS, I SAY YOU STOP!!!! and then i go... wow! so how was YOUR day/

[Jus2s1mp13]

hahah crazy... for me? Ahh i dont pick up. i got caller id and those i dunno what they are call hehe.. my parent got them. All they do is erase our number from the telo. and they wont call again. heck do i know but it actually work because we dont get much annoying phone ring from them. :)

[*wind&fire*]

^yes, in fact, for most people its nearly impossible

how so... unless you have no enthapy...

these are people you know, not some one who lives to piss you off...

[nyCzxfOx]

my friend... FLIRTS WITH THEM O_O;;

all the time.. all the time.. its funny

[lil_shadow]

i have a little speech memorized:
hello
hes not home right now
around 7


in my obviously bored voice

haha me too! ders this really annoying indian guy who keeps callin at the same time everyday so i dont even answer the phone usually unless im pissed so then i answer it:

*longgg silence*
indian guy: HELOoo? hello? hi?HELLOOOOoooo?
me: yea...hi....
*short silence*
indian guy: helloo1? helOOO!? HELLO?
me: yea..whadyu want...
indian guy: HELLOOOO?
me: .....
*hangs up*




oh yes heres another story:

scene: me, five years old, with my grandma(speaks chinese only)

*rinnng*rinngg*
grandma picks up
grandma: waiii? o..HELLO?
grandma: uh...ah...heheh..uh..*hangs up*
*calls about ten more times and grandma says the same thing and hangs up*
*ring*ring*
* i pick up the phone*
me:..h-h-he..llo?
telemarketer: DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE IT IS TO HANG UP ON PEOPLE I CALLED YOU LIEIK TEN TIMES OMYGOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU YOU DONT JUST HANG UP ON PEOPLE IT IS SO RUDE!...are u interested in buying blah blah blah blah from the blah blah blah company?
me: T_T *crying*...*sniff*sniff* IM S-SSO-ORRRRYYYYYY! no im not interested...
telemarketer: thats better. are you sureee u are not interested
me: uhh...no..*hangs up* 0_0...*looks at the phone for another ten minutes waiting for it to ring.*

[*Fallen_Fairy*]

I start talking to them in french, they would all hang up for the exception of one lady who actually knew french, in that case I had to hang up...

[*autumn.*]

heres an idea:

them: hii
me: [baby voice] hii!!!!!
them: may i please speak to your daddy?
me: which one?

harhar. some of the homophobes will get freaked out.

[*tweeak*]

how so... unless you have no enthapy...

these are people you know, not some one who lives to piss you off...

what...are you talking about?

[*autumn.*]

what...are you talking about?

...empathy?

.....apathetic?

[rnicron]

My brother once worked up the nerve to cry and tell them my mom died. That'd be awkward in so many ways on the recieving end.

[libertie]

I don't actually mess with them, I just tell them I'm not interested and hang up. It's not hard, but it is frustrating sometimes when I'm in a hurry and clearly just want to get off the phone.

[monster]

I try not to mess around with the telemarketers because their job consists of being hated by everyone.

But there is the occasional dick-wad in which case, I like to pretend I'm suicidal.

"OMG, I JUST PRAYED TO GOD THAT ID HAVE SOMEONE TO TALK TO! TALK TO ME, I WANT TO KILL MYSELF"

And at which point they hang up because they get scared. Only problem is I'm paranoid someone might call the cops on me. Haha.

[1angel3]

I remember when I was younger and a telemarketer called the house and I pick up and my dad told me to tell them he wasn't there, so I tell them "My dad said he wasn't here" and I hang up on them. But I never mess with them. I have a caller ID and if I don't recognize the number, I just don't answer.

[shadowfax]

Nope, I don't mess with them. Imagine how annoying it would be to be the telemarketer. I say my parents aren't home (because usually, they're not when I get the calls) and I don't make the decisions or I'm not interested.

[Blaqheartedstar]

they pronounce my moms name wrong
her name is Dalia(da-lee-ah) they say is de-li-a there? so since there is no delia here i say nope sorry
or often times she picks up and says no shes not home...
its annoying though...
i haven't tried to mess with them though

[Jennifer]

I like to make conversations with them hah

Or if they ask for my mum/dad, I like to giggle and say, "Oh how flattering. Do I sound that young?" Then they get confused. Cause obviously I don't sound that old

[transcendentalis...]

i used to play pranks on them... now i just try to outdo them in formality. idk

[Blaqheartedstar]

I like to make conversations with them hah

Or if they ask for my mum/dad, I like to giggle and say, "Oh how flattering. Do I sound that young?" Then they get confused. Cause obviously I don't sound that old

i get that all the time... they either think i'm my mom or at times my brother who is like 12.. his friends think i'm him
wtf?!

[annalucky]

I just tell them that I'm not interested or if it's a computer, I hang up.

[Jeng]

why are we bumping old ass topics?


uhm i just hang up

[1angel3]

I just tell them that I'm not interested or if it's a computer, I hang up.

Oh I hate computer calls

[smrkangl]

I've always wanted to try speaking in 1337 or game speak with them.