Why We are..., ...the TOUGHER sex |
 Nov 5 2004, 06:56 PM
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#1
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 Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 9 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 52,178  |
haha. i got this as a FWD from my friend and i had to share
Why Women are Tough: We start to "bud" in our blouses at 9 or 10 years old only to find anything that comes in contact with those tender, blooming buds hurts so bad it brings us to tears. Enter the almighty, uncomfortable training bra contraption the boys in school will snap until we have calluses on our backs. Next, we get our periods in our early to mid-teens (or sooner). Along with those budding boobs, we now bloat, we cramp, we get the hormone crankies, have to wear little mattresses between our legs or insert tubular, packed cotton rods in places we didn't even know we had. The teen years. Need I say more? Our next little rite of passage (premarital or not) is having sex for the first time which is about as much fun as having a ramrod push your uterus through your nostrils (IF he did it right and didn't end up with his little cart before his horse), leaving us to wonder what all the fuss was about. Then it's off to Motherhood where we learn to live on dry crackers and water for a few months so we don't spend the entire day leaning over Brother John. Of course, amazing creatures that we are (and we are), we learn to live with the growing little angels inside us steadily kicking our innards night and day making us wonder if we're having Rosemary's Baby. Our once flat bellies now look like we swallowed a watermelon whole and we pee in our pants every time we sneeze. When the big moment arrives, the dam in our blessed Nether Regions will invariably burst right in the middle of the mall and we'll waddle with our big cartoon feet moaning in pain all the way to the ER. Then it's huff and puff and beg to die while the OB says, "Please stop screaming, Mrs. Hearmeroar. Calm down and push. Just one more (or 10 ) good push," warranting a strong, well-deserved impulse to punch the ***** (and hubby) square in the nose for making us cram a wiggling, mushroom-headed 10 lb bowling ball through a keyhole. After that, it's time to raise those angels only to find that when all that "cute" wears off, the beautiful little darlings morph into walking, jabbering, wet, gooey, snot-blowing, life-sucking little poop machines. The kids are almost grown now and we women hit our voracious sexual prime in our early 40's while hubby had his somewhere around his 18th birthday. Now we hit the grand finale: "The Menopause," the Grandmother of all womanhood. It's either take the HR and chance cancer in those now seasoned "buds" or the aforementioned Nether Regions, or, sweat like a hog in July, wash your sheets and pillowcases daily and bite the head off anything that moves. Now, you ask WHY women seem to be more spiteful than men when men get off so easy INCLUDING the icing on life's cake: Being able to pee in the woods without soaking their socks... Women are the "weaker sex"? Yeah right. Bite me. Send this to seven bright women you know and make their day!!! Or at least make them laugh a little... |
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Nov 5 2004, 07:00 PM
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#2
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 I like it like that Group: Member Posts: 1,248 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 5,961 |
lol. so true
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Nov 5 2004, 07:10 PM
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#3
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 adam lazarra is god Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 25,098 |
hahaha. hell yeah!
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| *autumn.* |
Nov 5 2004, 08:17 PM
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Guest |
at least no surprise erections! those must suck.
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Nov 5 2004, 08:20 PM
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 ...and this is me.. Group: Member Posts: 3,518 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,899 |
wow.
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Nov 5 2004, 08:37 PM
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#6
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 734 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,507 |
Hehe, that's true.
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Nov 5 2004, 08:50 PM
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#7
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 jn Group: Member Posts: 713 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 49,769 |
hahaha. true.
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Nov 5 2004, 08:53 PM
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#8
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 jellyfishing, jellyfishing Group: Member Posts: 1,174 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 55,185 |
lol that's kool and so true
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Nov 5 2004, 08:55 PM
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#9
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 aiko Nakamura at your service Group: Member Posts: 1,518 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,144 |
hahaha thats smart stuff. very true.
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Nov 5 2004, 10:03 PM
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 my name is tiffany Group: Member Posts: 567 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,213 |
hahahahaha..that definitely made my day. LOLS.
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Nov 5 2004, 10:10 PM
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 Oh babyy. :d Group: Member Posts: 616 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,708 |
yes yes, we are the tougher sex... this made my day. lol
x3, cindy |
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Nov 5 2004, 10:34 PM
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#12
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 .Im.not.your.star. Group: Member Posts: 108 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 59,675 |
[FONT=Arial]*rofl* Haha, that's great I'll sned this to all the guys I know. [/FONT]
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Nov 6 2004, 01:33 AM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,541 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,332 |
That is so awesome.
It's sooo funny yet sooo true! |
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Nov 6 2004, 02:47 AM
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#14
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
lmao hahaha so true
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Nov 6 2004, 10:47 AM
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#15
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,248 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,084 |
very TRUE
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Nov 6 2004, 10:51 AM
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 jonathan rhys meyers. Group: Member Posts: 954 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,013 |
lol..being a woman is NOT as easy at it looks..
haha.."little matresses between our legs" |
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Nov 6 2004, 11:18 AM
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#17
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Gackt's Wife Group: Member Posts: 411 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,549 |
lol guys dont kno how easy they have it
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Nov 6 2004, 12:12 PM
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 .::sweet on you::. Group: Member Posts: 509 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,753 |
yeah....guys got it good
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Nov 6 2004, 12:20 PM
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#19
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 can't believe I let people call me Lynne on here 5 yrs ago o Group: Member Posts: 243 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,591 |
guys always had it good in everything
but now we're doin everythin to get even wit them |
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Nov 6 2004, 08:25 PM
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#20
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,899 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 57,580 |
everything is right xept the sex part. sex is awesome
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Nov 6 2004, 11:38 PM
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#21
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 66 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 56,796 |
I don't dare regard my girlfriend as the weaker gender. I actually prefer that we treat each other like "people" instead of "that gender".
Okay, you made a strong statement, what's next? |
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