Chicken, #3 of Bad Poetry |
 Nov 4 2004, 11:04 PM
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#1
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 Can't have the hand without the cock.  Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622  |
I wrote this because it popped into my head, since time is moving too fast for my own good, and nothing is going how it planned. and i dont seem to be "going with the flow"
 . Just read up, and yeah, you know the drill.Endless Has time grown an extra two legs? I can feel winter creeping upon my doorstep. I feel my inner soul becoming hollow and cold. Empty and shattered. Alone and restless. My body is freezing. My toes are numb. The blanket does nothing, My heart sinks to the floor in a quivering manner. The clock races ahead of me Tripping me on every corner Leaving me in a solemn confinement With a bullet of sorrow and self-pity lodged into my heart. I run with fear Another shot is fired aimed where it once entrapped me But in its place, a blood-ridden hole. Wisping through my veins No longer does my heart lie there. -- WANTED. Suggestions. Fixations. Comments. Criticism is welcome. |
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Nov 4 2004, 11:26 PM
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
QUOTE(jambaJUICE @ Nov 4 2004, 11:04 PM) Endless With a bullet of sorrow and self-pity lodged into my heart. I run with fear That is my favorite line from your poem. You should stop criticising(sp?) yourself on your own writings. |
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Nov 5 2004, 01:21 AM
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#3
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
QUOTE(Cloud_X @ Nov 4 2004, 11:26 PM) That is my favorite line from your poem. You should stop criticising(sp?) yourself on your own writings. Thanks. I know i should, but I criticize myself because it's not good enough. |
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