How to Annoy People at A Funeral, this is just evil...lol |
Humor Forum Rules
Please respect our community and follow the rules. There are many types of humor so we can do without those that aim to hurt/offend individuals and groups of people alike.
The community guidelines are addressed to ALL forums, which means the humor forum is undoubtedly included. However, we stress that these rules are especially observed in this forum:
NO OBSCENITY
This includes, but is not limited to excessive swearing, flaming, posting of pornographic images Racism, Homophobic, sexist remarks or bigotry of any sort.
PICTURES: No nudity of any type is allowed on the boards.
NO DUPLICATE TOPICS
If a topic exists a couple of pages away covering the same issues then the new one will be deleted or merged. Look through the pages to see if it has already been posted, if not then it should be okay to post.
Please do not violate the guidelines. It is here for a reason and is not to be ignored.
Thank you.
 Oct 31 2004, 08:36 AM
Post
#1
|
|
 Yum. =]  Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139  |
I hope no one actually does this. Lol....but I thought this was funny.
Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make love with you. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first. Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover. Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo. Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it. Ask the widow to give you a kiss. Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn. Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin. Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased. Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow. Leave some phony dog poop on top of the deceased. Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over. Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood. Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them. Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp. Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you. Take up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts. Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tatooing on. Put Crazy Glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss. Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit. If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose. When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's mouth. Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint. At the cemetery take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose. Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin. Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried. Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for back-taxes. Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face while praising the deceased. |
|
|
|
 |
Replies
(1 - 35)
|
Oct 31 2004, 09:38 AM
Post
#2
|
|
 . Group: Member Posts: 1,488 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,625 |
Evil is an understatement.
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 31 2004, 10:59 AM
Post
#3
|
|
 Member Group: Member Posts: 17 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 734 |
"Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first." haha ohh man! I can imagine someone doing that!! nice list! =D hahaha.
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Oct 31 2004, 11:18 AM
Post
#4
|
|
Guest |
that wuznt necessary
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 31 2004, 11:27 AM
Post
#5
|
|
 This bitch better work! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,681 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 28,095 |
QUOTE(sandra6645 @ Oct 31 2004, 11:18 AM) that wuznt necessary  that was funny, in an evil way! 
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 31 2004, 11:55 AM
Post
#6
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
QUOTE(sandra6645 @ Oct 31 2004, 11:18 AM) that wuznt necessary Here's $5. Buy a sense of humor.  No...really. At the beginning I said that "I hope no one does this". It's a joke sweetie. No disrespect...to dead people anyway. |
|
|
|
|
Oct 31 2004, 12:42 PM
Post
#7
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 937 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,476 |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Oct 31 2004, 11:55 AM) Here's $5. Buy a sense of humor. No...really. At the beginning I said that "I hope no one does this". It's a joke sweetie. No disrespect...to dead people anyway. lmao. seriously.. Funny jokes. 
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 1 2004, 10:50 AM
Post
#8
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Oct 31 2004, 5:55 PM) Here's $5. Buy a sense of humor. No...really. At the beginning I said that "I hope no one does this". It's a joke sweetie. No disrespect...to dead people anyway. haha....thanks for the bux,but it wuznt necessary,lol  ...seriously,i think this joke sux,respect the dead!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 1 2004, 02:13 PM
Post
#9
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 88 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,472 |
lol thats funny but i hope no one ever tries that
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 1 2004, 02:31 PM
Post
#10
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
QUOTE(sandra6645 @ Nov 1 2004, 10:50 AM) haha....thanks for the bux,but it wuznt necessary,lol ...seriously,i think this joke sux,respect the dead!!!How many people do you think will actually do this? Maybe that's why it's in the humor section...hmmm? Amd I want my five dollars back. 
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 2 2004, 04:55 AM
Post
#11
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Nov 1 2004, 8:31 PM) How many people do you think will actually do this? Maybe that's why it's in the humor section...hmmm? Amd I want my five dollars back. u never know,someone might actually do this  ...no the bucks is mine!!
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 2 2004, 11:10 AM
Post
#12
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
^^ Sick people....
Damn I just lost five dollars. |
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 2 2004, 11:14 AM
Post
#13
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Nov 2 2004, 5:10 PM) ^^ Sick people.... Damn I just lost five dollars. haha!! ur money is mine!! now that makes u a uhh...LOOSER
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 2 2004, 02:30 PM
Post
#14
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
Now I will use this list at your funeral. Muahahahaha
 Please don't haunt me. |
|
|
|
|
Nov 2 2004, 11:18 PM
Post
#15
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,248 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,084 |
lol.. funnyyy
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 3 2004, 03:54 AM
Post
#16
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Nov 2 2004, 8:30 PM) Now I will use this list at your funeral. Muahahahaha Please don't haunt me. haha...u r not invited to my funeral!! haha...aniways the jokes were funny... 
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 3 2004, 09:16 AM
Post
#17
|
|
 I can't believe its not "Ryan" Group: Member Posts: 1,981 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,368 |
Can I get 5 bucks?? haha....
I thought all of them were hella funny |
|
|
|
|
Nov 3 2004, 11:01 AM
Post
#18
|
|
 Call me Emily <33. Group: Member Posts: 713 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 27,579 |
rofl ahahahah
that was great
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 3 2004, 11:37 AM
Post
#19
|
|
 I just "got it like that". Group: Member Posts: 247 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 41,238 |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Oct 31 2004, 8:36 AM) I hope no one actually does this. Lol....but I thought this was funny. Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make love with you. Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens. Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first. Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover. Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased. At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo. Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it. Ask the widow to give you a kiss. Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn. Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin. Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased. Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow. Leave some phony dog poop on top of the deceased. Tell the widow that you have to leave early and ask if the will can be read before the funeral is over. Urge the widow to give the deceased's wooden leg to someone poor who can't afford firewood. Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them. Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp. Ask the widow for money which the deceased owes you. Take up a collection to pay off the deceased's gambling debts. Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tatooing on. Put Crazy Glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss. Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit. If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose. When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's mouth. Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint. At the cemetery take bets on how long it takes a body to decompose. Goose the widow as she bends over to throw dirt on the coffin. Circulate a petition to have the body stuffed instead of buried. Tell everyone you're from the IRS and you're confiscating the coffin for back-taxes. Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face while praising the deceased. Didnt you get these from someone else? |
|
|
|
|
Nov 3 2004, 03:23 PM
Post
#20
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
QUOTE(sandra6645 @ Nov 3 2004, 3:54 AM) haha...u r not invited to my funeral!! haha...aniways the jokes were funny... Awwww..I'm not?  Then I'll funeral crash it.
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 3 2004, 07:15 PM
Post
#21
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 515 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 55,039 |
hahaha. those are evily funny =)
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 4 2004, 08:09 AM
Post
#22
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Nov 3 2004, 9:23 PM) Awwww..I'm not? Then I'll funeral crash it. u cannot come to my funeral cuz u'll be WAY dead b4 i die!! haha  ....but ur grand kids r invited tho....
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 4 2004, 03:13 PM
Post
#23
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
QUOTE(sandra6645 @ Nov 4 2004, 8:09 AM) u cannot come to my funeral cuz u'll be WAY dead b4 i die!! haha ....but ur grand kids r invited tho.... I'll pass this list down to them...  oh, btw in your sig thats a song right? i know i've heard that somewhere b4 
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 5 2004, 08:15 AM
Post
#24
|
|
Guest |
QUOTE(diezelbabygrl_xoxo @ Nov 4 2004, 9:13 PM) I'll pass this list down to them... oh, btw in your sig thats a song right? i know i've heard that somewhere b4 yes,thats a song,its called truly madly deeply by savage garden,veri good song ...
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 5 2004, 02:54 PM
Post
#25
|
|
|
Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
Yeh I LOVE that song. You know what's funnier than this list? People reading our conversation back and forth.
|
|
|
|
| *Weird addiction* |
Nov 6 2004, 08:06 AM
Post
#26
|
|
Guest |
^^yeah...that veri funni,i made my sis read it...she thinks im nuts!! hehe,i kinda enjoyed it tho...
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 12 2004, 12:12 AM
Post
#27
|
|
|
Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 136 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 9,910 |
hahaha
|
|
|
|
|
Nov 14 2004, 03:30 AM
Post
#28
|
|
 Magic Crayons Group: Member Posts: 142 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 62,315 |
haha, who ever does that......nevermind
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 12 2004, 07:19 PM
Post
#29
|
|
 LiLaZnGurL Group: Member Posts: 969 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 29,072 |
hahaha?
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 12 2004, 11:29 PM
Post
#30
|
|
 RiKACHANtEL Group: Member Posts: 3,876 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,230 |
lol this was really funny...actually one that i can laugh about
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 14 2004, 07:19 PM
Post
#31
|
|
 Smile Like a Retard =D Group: Member Posts: 1,350 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 63,186 |
i don't really find it funny....
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 14 2004, 10:46 PM
Post
#32
|
|
 jellobean Group: Member Posts: 76 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 2,478 |
i think its evil-ly hilarious!!niz!!n e conversation is funny too..ahahaha...cheerios!!
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 15 2004, 09:33 AM
Post
#33
|
|
 Mrs M. Group: Member Posts: 55 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 70,136 |
GOODNESS. i love the list!!! it's so funny!!! :)
|
|
|
|
|
Dec 20 2004, 07:00 PM
Post
#34
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 219 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 68,958 |
haha evil but funny.
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 11 2005, 04:30 PM
Post
#35
|
|
 november 25th,, <3 Group: Member Posts: 473 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,226 |
funny. but not "haha" funny.
|
|
|
|
|
Jan 11 2005, 04:43 PM
Post
#36
|
|
 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 360 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 63,174 |
When theres a funeral youre supposed to go up to old people, poke them in the stomach and say "you're next"
|
|
|
|
 |
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: