My ex-boyfriend hit me..., but im still madly in love with him. Options

[Fallen4Mshadows]

ok... When i was a freshman in highschool i began to go out with this boy and i fell for him very fast and he fell for me fast as well. We were together for 2 years and towards the end like the last 4 or 5 months he began to change. He started getting mad and posessive and he hit me a few times and jerked me around a lot and even tried to choke me once. I found out soon after we broke up that he had started doing pot. Now we talk even though i broke up with him and i still love him dearly. he loves me as well and we've been talking about getting back together. He's quit doing pot and as far as i know stopped hanging out with most of the people that gave him pot. Should i stay away or consider getting back together with him? 'cause he's a really great guy and when he's not doing pot he's so sweet and nice and caring and a real gentleman... i dont know what to do. please help.

"Buildings burn, People die, but Real love is forever...."
-The Crow

[*mSz_dOrk_anGeL*]

Oh no .. DO NOT i say DO NOT get back togeather with him. Don't talk to him .. take it from me. I thought my boyfriend loved me even though he hit me and jerked me around. So I stayed with him .. if anything, it got worse. He hit me and threw me around so far I blacked out for a few minutes .. and then worse .. worse things happend. He saw that he could take advantage of me and I would stop him. Please please please don't talk or see this guy anymore .. Ive been though it and I dont want someone else to go though that pain.

Good luck to you
if you EVER need to talk my name is Shelby and you can always IM me on aim my sn is
myTEARS drownME
or on msn at
deadlyx3kiss@hotmail.com

Please take my advice. It would only get worse.

[AsianUniQ]

one lesson in life, people will never change, even if its due to the things that changed them. You cant blame it on pot. He hit you with his own hands, he's the cause of that action. If pot didnt make him hit you, its stress. If you go back with him, he will take things out on you even if you hae nothing to do with it. Stay freinds. At least you'll have that distance with him. And love yourself, be4 u love someone else

[SarahxJoy]

These are your options:
1. Continue talking to him and comforting and such until he is completely done with pot and those who gave it to him.
2. Go cold turkey on him.
3. Get with him and seek out your posibilities of how things will eventually end with him.

But, keep in mind:
People never change.
People say things that they may later on realize, aren't true.
You'll move on, eventually.

Good luck.

[*wind&fire*]

yeh but once it looks like hell hit you again get out...

[TheSilenceInDict...]

If you get back with him, you deserve to be hit again.

[*Weird addiction*]

dont get baq wif him again,he might kill ya!!

[Perfection]

Don't get back with him...he maybe lying and start to do something else...like marijuana...so don't get together with him again.

[angelbaby317]

the minute a guy hits you, LEAVE! There was someone who thought the same thing as you. "He's one with drugs. I should take hime back." Well this guy ended up tieing her up one day after a dance and drowned her. Please please please, don't get back together with him. He could of changed, but you should play it safe.

My sister's friend's father hit her mother. She took him to court. The father said he had changed and doesn't hit anymore. Well the mother had done drugs and they said she can visit my sister's friend but the kid had to stay with her father. Since her father hit her mother he also hit her. She had been locked in closets and thrown down the stairs. The father got married and hit his new wife too. So heres the end. My sister's friend moved to Texas to live with her mother and the father is in jail for murdering his 2nd wife. This story is not lie. It makes me cry to see this girl and her mother come to a Catholic school beat up and none of the teachers did anything.

Think about these stories. A guy should never hit you. Its your desicion and whatever you decide make sure its the right one. Good Luck.

~Alicia~

[chaoticchrissy]

do not get baq widd him!! are you crazzeee! he myte do sumfin he may regre and you wont get another chance to tell your storreee i say you dont! ...good luck

[dreamerOi]

do not get back with him whatsoeverrrrrrrrr. youll just end up with a bruised up body& a broken heart.

[nycgrl102]

u shouldnt go bak with him. he mite be fine now but then he mite start hurting u agen after u 2 get comfortable agen.

[xoMeGGerz14xo]

Please dont get back wit him! i see how my friend is...i know her bf is beating her...she hasnt come out and said it though. i c how he acts in school hes really controlling and always pushes her and calls her a bitch and stupid and stuff like that and she just takes it! guys shouldnt be like that! they think they can control us just bc we are gurls and thats not true! put ur foot down and tell him that u dont want to be with him bc of what he did and dont change ur mind u will get over him! what would u rather getting over him and finding someone new..someone that cares about u so much that he would NEVER ever think about hitting you or someone that lyed and said that he changed just to get u back so he could hit u...? think about it! good luck!

[nlgrl]

well if u really love him... get back with him but if u wanna take the chance of him taking pot again and abusing you... then think again

[Shattered_Hope]

hmm, well, not many people, in this case, guys, will make you feel all warm inside. If he's changed...he deserves a second chance. Manymake mistakes in their life, theyall deserve a chance..however..not many learn from it...take a chance if you luv him.

[I.Luff.Emo.Boys.]

[n]NO[/b]

DO NOT get back together with him. That is putting yourself in danger.

[slurp]

it really depends on if youre willing to take that risk in getting back with him cause the same thing might happen again.

[to-devastate]

hm. im not sure about this one.. well my mind says: give him a second chance, but after reading the above entries.. maybe you shouldnt.

so i dont think you should get with him again. PEOPLE DO NEVER CHANGE. He's just faking it. If he hurt you once, he will hit you again. ABSOLUTELY NO. Do not get back with him. Take it from the above entries.. they actually have accounts of this.. :] good luck.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

If you get back with him, you deserve to be hit again.

sadly, i kinda have to agree with that

[T00000]

ok... When i was a freshman in highschool i began to go out with this boy and i fell for him very fast and he fell for me fast as well. We were together for 2 years and towards the end like the last 4 or 5 months he began to change. He started getting mad and posessive and he hit me a few times and jerked me around a lot and even tried to choke me once. I found out soon after we broke up that he had started doing pot. Now we talk even though i broke up with him and i still love him dearly. he loves me as well and we've been talking about getting back together. He's quit doing pot and as far as i know stopped hanging out with most of the people that gave him pot. Should i stay away or consider getting back together with him? 'cause he's a really great guy and when he's not doing pot he's so sweet and nice and caring and a real gentleman... i dont know what to do. please help.

"Buildings burn, People die, but Real love is forever...."
-The Crow

first of all, you can't "do" pot but you can smoke it. but trust me, pot doesn't do that to a person. pot is like alchohol, except when someone's high they don't become violent like alchohol sometimes can, they become really passive and goofy. if he ever hit you it's because he's an a-hole. and you definetly don't need to put up with that. i understand you may love him, but that's part of what traps women in abusive relationships. don't get back into it. trust me.

[hi-C]

That's a big giant "no." One hit is enough. Don't subject yourself to further abuse.

[sweetxsimplicity]

Well yeah, since you both really love each other, but you should talk to him about the hitting and stuff, and just be over with it if he hits or hurts you again.

[NgocQuyen]

no offense to all tha people that sed no...but i think you should...becuase you never know if he's really changed unless you find out for yourself...love is all about taking risks...and taking chances...you have to be brave enough to do that...if you are unwilling to take the chance...there was never love...take chances...you never know wut could/would happen if you dont try! people can change you know....its very much possible...so go ahead!take chances!x] good luck there buddy

x3 QuyEnNiEe

[lilanglbaby418]

please don't go out with him another time. what some of the others said before me, people just don't change from their old ways. you have no way of knowing that in the future he'll go back to doing pot. trust me, i went through something very similar with this guy that i'm still in love with. but i'm never going to go back out with him because of the past. but i'll always love him, that will never change. good luck. <3

[faithin_felix]

he still loves you i think. my mom hits me and she says she still loves me. of course this was when i was young. lol....

anyways, well...just look at his actions towards u after he hit u then. have faith girl.

[LadyXTor]

I don't know...this guy sounds scary. If you get back together, he still might abuse you. It might not have been the drugs making him do that.

[lilxroxy]

are you sure....? if you love him. and depending on how he treats you before he was on pot. then go if you think he`s worth it..

no one`s perfect. and yes. true love is forever.

if he knws what he did wrong. and he`s glad to turn back. thats good :]

glucks

[vivieeeen]

Pot only makes people do things when they're High on it.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't go to school when he IS high.

to put it this way, I think he doesn't deserve you.. because.. if he can't control his emotions even when he's in a perfectly normal condition, I dont' see the a good reason for him to hit you.

[dani41790]

idk... if he truely has changed then i guess u can get back together with him, but if u c any sign of him being violent and stuff like that then break up with him rite away

[Oreo_bro]

Cycle of violence:

*Tension Building: Minor conflics and possible some physical abuse, spouse may think things will get better if they try to please the other more.

*Explosion: Some type of violence, may be triggered by an argument or fight, abuse may be phsycial sexual or emotional. Person left feeling worthless and depressed.

*"HoneyMoon": Abuser may become nice again, sorry/kind/loving/apolosive. Will promise that it will never happen again. Key word is promise, because it goes right back to tension building.

Sooner or later the cycle will start again, however the victem will not realize it because they feel they are in love, and they feel that if they try harder to please their "love" that things will get better, however it doesnt. It may be a few months or a few years, or the person may never realize this. A sad world we live in.


This is something we had to write down in my teen issues class and i thought i would share it with you CBers in this forum who are going through tough relationships. If you watch opra there was an episode a little while ago with a husband and wife. The husband treated her crap. He hurt her so bad, but never hit her. He would yell at her, make her feel worthless, make her think it was all her fault. Opra had a camera crew in the house and they actually taped it, it was bad. Both the husband and the wife came on the show and it was awful. The girl kept saying "i should have been stronger...it was all my fault" yada yada yada..he said he would change.

2 months later he was back to the old ways.




this guy doesnt deserve u, find some one eles, if u dont it will hurt u in the long run.

good luck

[someflipguy]

Use your best judgement! But, remember people warned you!

[JessJR1022]

he hit you....... why would you wanna go back........ even if you love him that's wrong

[TangoMango]

Stay away as far as possible!!! You don't know if he might abuse you again. Get help and tell someone you trust...even if you love him, theres no excuse for him to hit you, and if he loves you he shouldnt be doing that!

[*krnxswat*]

I don't think she bothers to come here anymore, so why reply?

[jambaJUICE]

1. Stop with the "love" bit.
2. Don`t get with him, even if he might not hit you, the pot will come back, and you might even get into it.
3. krnxswat is right.

[mr_brigtside]

Hes not worht your time!

[wayne]

wtf? no... i have nothing to say on this but wtf...

[houjin_himo]

DONT get back with him....because even though they say they change....habits are hard to break and you never know if he's still doing it or if he will start doing it again...if you guys get back together...and you guys break up...not onli will it shatter your heart it will also shatter his...ahha just my thoughts

[Dusck]

pot is bad stuff!

[bigpoppaproppy]

he's not worth it....domestic abuse will escalate and continue

no matter hwo sorry or sweet he seems, they DONT change

trust me, Ive taken the same women to the hospital in our ambulance so many times for it its not even funny

[misoshiru]

definitely not! on the surface he may have changed, but deep down, you never know. if you get back together w/ him, he'll prbly hit you again.

[Fallen4Mshadows]

I do still come here to see what people have said... thank you guys seriously i really appreciate all of you commenting... im not so confused anymore... keep commenting if you have something to say please... i really really appreciate it

[shortiiex]

if you think he has changed, get back together with him

[bigpoppaproppy]

if you think he has changed, get back together with him

well that deserves the "look at me I have the worst advice of the YEAR" award

[tooeffingcrazy]

if a guy hits you, espeicially your bf, you should not give him another chance. especially when he has hitten you twice or more. you will js keep getting hurt. mentally and physically. and also he is doing pot.. which is a bad influence. even though he tried to quite or whatever. you stil shouldn't give him another chance.