I'm really scared, I'm afraid of my boyfriend Options

[Pinkxstar]

My boyfriend lives like 30 minutes away from me. We started going out like 5 months ago. The first month was great he was really cool and nice. Then all of a sudden he was slitting his wrists and smoking. I knew that he was gothic and punk and stuff but he was just acting way too evil, though I am not implying that goths and punks are evil. Anyway, then his friends started talking to me and telling me that he's a "pothead". I thought they were just trying to make me break up with him. So I ignored them. Then one day we were all hangning out and he was wearing a black t-shirt and I could see the scars on his arms. It really scared me. And then he asked me if I wanted to smoke some pot. I said "No" and he got all mad and started saying that I just didn't like him and then he tried to hit me but I knew that he was going to so i moved back and he started yeeling and then his sister came downstairs and talked to him and I left. Now all of his friends and he are telling me how sorry he is and that he'll never do it again. But I know that sometimes people say that but it always happens again. But I really truly like him and I want to see him get better. But if I reject him I'm afraid he's going to continue cutting himself and be very hurt. Please give whatever helpful advice you have!!!

[xquizit]

Wrong forum hun.

Topic Moved

[ghjgfkgfk]

leave him

[Pinkxstar]

oops-ee-doodles! ugh. i hate putting things in wrong forums!!!

[sunissed14127]

ok, if a guy is going to treat u like that,hes not worth having u. i would leave him.i know it's gonna be hard,but thats waht i would do. if he starts stalking/hitting u, u might wanna get a restraining order or something.just because he says he's sorry & he wont do it again,doesnt mean he's not going to. you've most likely read stories about stuff like this,how the boyfriend hits the g/f and says he wont do it again,and then does it again. just remeber that if u stay with him, your risking your life.
Edit:: o yea and if ur worried about ur b/f then maybe you should talk to a counselor or something and tell them that he's cutting and that may help him with that.

[sweetdreamsx3]

Face it. If you stay with him, you'll still end up getting hurt a lot more. He already tried hitting you. The words of "I'm not going to do it again" is going to happen again. How can you love someone who hits you?

"Now all of his friends and he are telling me how sorry he is and that he'll never do it again." Wow, what a coward. He couldn't tell you himself.

[Looow]

Dump him. He'll do it again & again

[Danny]

wow... well... you can do one of two things, do whate everyone says and dump him or just try and help him. afterall, if you like him, you like him. you cant control your own emotions ... personally... i wouldnt dump him but then again... im always too nice too people..

[islandkiss]

omgosh.

when guys say they won't, they always do. stay away from him while you can. the abuse will get worse if you don't. I'm sorry but you'll have to leave him.

[sweetdreamsx3]

wow... well... you can do one of two things, do whate everyone says and dump him or just try and help him. afterall, if you like him, you like him. you cant control your own emotions ... personally... i wouldnt dump him but then again... im always too nice too people..

What kind of advice is that is? If she tries to help, I bet you that he would hit her or do something worse. You can't help him, but maybe like a therapist or something could.

Like x3_kelly said, they'll always do it again. We can't make you leave him, but we can tell you that the abuse will get worser and worser. He already tried to hit you. You're scared of him. Doesn't that tell you enough?

[Heathasm]

dump him...if he is stupid enough to be acting like that he doesn't deserve yoru compassion and you just need to move on

[mouse_3k]

dump him damn..just leave him, he is a fearful guy..he should just be alone in life and think about his actions.

[Danny]

What kind of advice is that is? If she tries to help, I bet you that he would hit her or do something worse. You can't help him, but maybe like a therapist or something could.

Like x3_kelly said, they'll always do it again. We can't make you leave him, but we can tell you that the abuse will get worser and worser. He already tried to hit you. You're scared of him. Doesn't that tell you enough?

oh, so youre just going to give up if your best friend is insane huh? what would you do if your best friend becomes insane huh!?!?! just leave him there and not care about them anymore? is that what youre going to do? unlike some people, im willing to risk myself to help other people..

[lilxroxy]

My boyfriend lives like 30 minutes away from me. We started going out like 5 months ago. The first month was great he was really cool and nice. Then all of a sudden he was slitting his wrists and smoking. I knew that he was gothic and punk and stuff but he was just acting way too evil, though I am not implying that goths and punks are evil. Anyway, then his friends started talking to me and telling me that he's a "pothead". I thought they were just trying to make me break up with him. So I ignored them. Then one day we were all hangning out and he was wearing a black t-shirt and I could see the scars on his arms. It really scared me. And then he asked me if I wanted to smoke some pot. I said "No" and he got all mad and started saying that I just didn't like him and then he tried to hit me but I knew that he was going to so i moved back and he started yeeling and then his sister came downstairs and talked to him and I left. Now all of his friends and he are telling me how sorry he is and that he'll never do it again. But I know that sometimes people say that but it always happens again. But I really truly like him and I want to see him get better. But if I reject him I'm afraid he's going to continue cutting himself and be very hurt. Please give whatever helpful advice you have!!!

oh my...><

first of all, i hope you are ohkay. i knw this is tough for you..[lotsa broken hearts on cb ayee??]

and well. i hope that you will knw guys will think once you gave him 2nd chance..you meant to give them "infinity" chances

[captured_serenit...]

leave him! seriously don't stay with him. it's quite obivous what you should do anyways.

[*Weird addiction*]

quit le----meaning leave him

[*AngelicEyz00*]

5 months.... err, I dunno, I don't think I'll put up with that... I think it depends on how serious of a relationship you guys have. Maybe you should try and help him and show him that you care. Suggest for him to stop doing those things

[177emories]

girl u can't be with osmeone ur scared of, move on..

[nlgrl]

my boyfriend is gothic but he's totally oppisite... he USE to take drugs a year ago... but i never thought if he ever slit his wrist.. now im worried >.< ill look at his wrist when i can... but if u love him stay with him... if he hurts u again leave...

[nyCzxfOx]

DUDE DONT DUMP HIM!!!!!! IMAGINE HOW THAT MIGHT RUIN HIM!! >_>

sheesh.. he might cut more.. just show you care =) you MUST know him a lil more since its 5 months.. anything can help =) and find out why is he cutting ect.. keep his mind off things and soothe out his problems.. maybe if you found out his problems i might be able to attempt to help you with that too

[Shattered_Hope]

hmm...this is hard...i mean...any advice given to you now....it won't make a difference..becuz you'll prob go with what u think is best in the end..becuz what can i say..fromwhat i've read so far....youre prob gonna give this guy another chance....beuz..in the end..love conquers all obstacles.

[christiee_nax]

my boyfriends gothic too. and he used to be like that.. (but woot i made him see that what he's donig is wrong ) once we almost broke up and he freaking cut himself and his chest, etc and geez. it was scary.

it all depends what kinda guy he is. and yah, how serious the relationship is. but if he ever tries to hit you again, seriously just dump him. its not worth it if he's hitting you or making you do things you dont want to do.

[sheddingtears]

try talking to him. if he doesn't change for the best, maybe you should leave him before he gets even more dangerous.

[inthemudhole]

Hard.
Try talking to him before you do anything drastic.
If he's not willing to cooperate and shape up, then I'd think about dumping him..

[whywasisostupid]

..if i were u dump him. and stil b friends.
or u can at least try and make him stop doing pot and stop slitting his wrists. tell me u care about him so much and u dont want to lose him if he actulay realy got deep enuf for him to die.

if he hurts u again, leave. theres no other way

[conster]

y dont u give u and him a period of time like a week, 2weeks and see if he can really keep up wit his words.

[audory]

DUDE DONT DUMP HIM!!!!!! IMAGINE HOW THAT MIGHT RUIN HIM!! >_>

he hit her. imagine how that ruins her.

dump him, if he TRIED to hit yooh, he doesnt deserve yooh. or.. if yooh want, talk to him first, but break up with him afterwards. b/c its better to be safe then sorry. better to be safe nd not w/ him, then hurt nd w/ him.

[xnastyninjagrlx]

well if you really really like him, you need to confront him about your feelings and how he really needs help. If that doesn't work, then I suggest to just leave him because you don't need to put up with this. You always need to think about ur own safety and hapiness first...if he doesn't make you feel safe and happy then it's not a healthy relationship.

[justin_park85]

well if you truly love him, believe him. if he says that he won't do it again, then that means he won't do it again. if you like him so much, why don't you believe? and if he does the cutting part again, tell his parents about it in a secretly way so he doesn't find out that you are telling stuff to his parents. or ask him what's going on with his life that what he really wants to do with your guy's relationship. try to work it out by having a conversation. that's the best step.

[LiLaZnGirL122]

babi.. jus leave him hes just saying this but wen u forgiv him he gunna do it all over again jus break up with him its for da best

[Suesterrx]

dont u ppl get that he'll get upset and start to cut even more?
talk to his sister or parents.. more importantly, talk to him..
get him to wear pink.. bandage up his boo boos..
it seems hard.. but if he loves u, he would sacrafice anything
even though it sounds like he doesnt fully love u as if like.. 100% if he tried to hit u. i would run away from him, and lock the doors but thats just me..

[sammi rules you]

don't be with him; it'll put too much stress on you.
call up his parents or something, get him some help..
suggest antidepressants perhaps..
he's def not doing too well. =/
i know you care about him, and you don't want to break up with him..but it's not good for you to undergo that.

[houjin_himo]

i agree with everybody....u would be better off if u broke up with him and maybe not even be friends. cuz then theres no point, its gonna make u feel awkward

[shortiiex]

it doesn't matter that he cuts himself, that is his choice, if you still care about him go back with him, he said sorry so he must care about you too

[betrayedbytheduc...]

hmm..do you and him still talk to each other? he's an idiot for getting mad at you for that reason in the first place. give him a second chance and if he continues to be stupid, then you know that it isn't gonna work out.

[tooeffingcrazy]

i highly encourage you to leave him. he isnt worth your time. he has no respect for you. he is a bad influence on you. but if you do leave him, he will start cutting again. which is a little scary. you should tell someone to talk to him about his problems. cause if you acually do stay with him, theres a high possibility that he will hurt you mentally and physically. but if you want to take a chance with him one more time, js take a 1-2 week break. if he agrees on that, you not only see him progressing, but you can see if he is truly sorry.

[kaytee_lou]

first, try and talk to him .. tell him that you wont him to stop doing all the bad crap thats he doing .. and just try and help him as much as you can .. if that doesnt work, then there isnt anything you can do .. you cant make someone want help, so if he doesnt want help .. just leave him alone .. tell him that you want him to change, because u dont think hes doing the right things .. if he doesnt listen, then just leave him .. if he really loves you and wants to be with you, then he'll stop what hes doing