I will.., bad poety |
 Oct 22 2004, 11:57 PM
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#1
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 Can't have the hand without the cock.  Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622  |
I will stab you till you bleed.
I will make your eyes cry blood. I will cut your throat. I will sew your lips together, watching you scream painfully. I will stab at your voicebox, searing pain through your veins. I will take a hook and gouge your blood-filled eyes. I will chop off your fingers, one by one, tearing each limb, ligament, and saw through every bone. I will make it so that you will remember my name. But.. i will not kill you. Instead.. I will watch you suffer through each passing day. I will not allow you to apologize on your last gaping breathe for bleeding on my shirt. I will sear your flesh with kerosene and enflame it with the matches in my pocket. But i will not kill you. I will take chains from the depths of my drawers -- The ones ive kept esp. for you I will endear your pain, with laughter. I will ignore your agonizing screams with a flame striking the matchbox. I will make you pay for all the pain youve caused me. But will not kill you. Instead.. I will watch you kill yourself without me ever laying a hand on you. |
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Oct 23 2004, 01:16 AM
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#2
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 |
lol i like this poem deep darkside into it I WILL KILL YOU!! but i will not kill you lol I will watch you but i will not kill you good job i like it..entertaining somewhat
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Oct 23 2004, 01:25 AM
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#3
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
QUOTE(dispn0ygonekrazy @ Oct 23 2004, 1:16 AM) lol i like this poem deep darkside into it I WILL KILL YOU!! but i will not kill you lol I will watch you but i will not kill you good job i like it..entertaining somewhat Hahaha. It is for entertainment actually.. It was derived from a song that a couple of friends [guy&girl] made about this girl we hate. Haha. It went somewhat like.. "im gonna stab her in the face. im gonna stab her in the face." 
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Oct 24 2004, 12:35 AM
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#4
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Eternal Syn Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 |
AHHH!! Gory!!! It's good but I kinda stopped reading it after I read the first two stanza's...
 Other people may like it. It's just that this is a little too gory for me...
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Oct 24 2004, 12:49 AM
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#5
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 LunchboxXx Group: Member Posts: 1,789 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,810 |
sounds like a plan, ye. hehe.
i LOVE how you completley own and destroy that TbS line. (most hated line EVER) excelent show of malice. |
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| *Weird addiction* |
Oct 24 2004, 10:07 AM
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#6
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Guest |
this is very funny
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Oct 24 2004, 01:16 PM
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#7
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
Hehehe thanks for the comments guys
 Wasnt expecting any feedback... 
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| *Azarel* |
Jan 18 2006, 01:14 AM
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#8
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Guest |
I think the second "I will not kill you," can be omitted. There are a few grammatical issues littered throughout the piece, but I like the concept. Perhaps you could deviate from "I will" in every line; I think it would make the piece more interesting, although I do really like some lines of this.
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Jan 18 2006, 01:18 AM
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#9
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 766 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 308,296 |
your hella mean eph
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Jan 18 2006, 01:19 AM
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#10
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Can't have the hand without the cock. Group: Member Posts: 2,481 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 50,622 |
Wth hahaha. I wrote this helllaaaa long ago.
I forgot why I was mad too. Interesting. xo, Stephanie |
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| *Azarel* |
Jan 18 2006, 01:23 AM
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#11
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I know it's old, but I'm going through old pages of the writing forum. And rewrites are always fun.
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