what's wrong., #3 |
| *stephinika* |
 Oct 20 2004, 11:49 PM
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#1
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written towards a group of people i was rather upset with when i wrote this...still an older piece, from 2 years-ish ago. constructive criticism is appreciated, thank you.
What's Wrong. by stephinika What’s wrong with you people? Why do you care? Where do you get these ideas? Who do you think you are? When will it stop? Let me tell you something It’s none of your business And you are all wrong You keep thinking things that are far from the truth All I ask is you leave me alone And quit telling me what I feel They are my emotions I control them You do not know how I am And you do not know who I truly am So stop those false accusations of me And let me tell the truth To all of those people With fake images of who I am in their minds You are all wrong You shouldn’t care No matter where these ideas come from You are all yourselves as I am me so leave me alone And it should never have started. |
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Oct 21 2004, 03:30 AM
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#2
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 Will write poetry for sex!  Group: Member Posts: 1,110 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 600 |
Very direct poem, with raw and honest expression.
I enjoyed how you went back to the first stanza at the end - it tied up pretty well. Well sorted with a clear message. |
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Oct 21 2004, 07:22 AM
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#3
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 35 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 53,690 |
hmm...reads a bit funny, but other than good stuff
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