A Long Distance Relationship, with the guy you know is true....... Options

[luckyxi3]

i met this guy on xanga and we started to talk.

at first he was just some guy who usually just ims you to tell you about visiting your site.

then later on we became good friends and i think he asked me out in a way. asking me about age difference and distance.

but here`s the problem.. he lives all the way in nevada [las vegas] and i live here in ny. another problem is he`s 19 while i`m 14 and he`s planning to go to the navy in 3 months. i just think that age is a number but IF we ever did think about getting married, i know my parents wouldn`t let me get married that young while he`s like already old and should`ve gotten married. i just don`t wanna hold him back

i totally like him and he`s an amazing person. we totally understand each other and basically know what each other says or feels.

i`ve asked my friend already if i should take this risk. she said no because it will be hard for me because he`s gonna be going to the navy for years.

i wish he would just change his mind about going to the navy and move here to ny.. but i don`t wanna change what he thought about in years and the fact that i`ve only been in his life not that long. that`s only destiny at work if it does really happen.

what would you do or what should i do? let go of the guy i know could be mr. right or just go for it and find out the consequences?

he always told me to think before i do or say anything because it will eventually always end up with consequences. well i`ve thought about it for so long and i don`t know what are my consequences...

[sporadic]

Hmm....
Well, if he is "Mr. Right" give him all the information he'd ever need to contact you and vice versa. When he's out of the Navy, if you haven't found anyone else, then you guys can date or whatever it is you intend to do.

[DrEaMgUy2K1]

dont even think about it missy!

[inthemudhole]

I kind of agree with both of you..

Maybe don't think about it.. online stuff CAN be dangerous.

Maybe you should give him SOME contact information for when he does get out of the Navy, and if you haven't found someone else and he hasn't, he can recontact you.

[captivatedheart]

first of all, you guys haven't seen each other yet? cause i'm not all that sure if it's sucha good idea. you'll never be able to see him, plus he's going to the navy for years and who knows what will happen. and if everything was "meant to be", you guys would meet later and make everything work out. but my opinion, give him some contact info (phone number) and if everything works out and you 2 find no one else, it's all good.

long distance relationships sure suck.

[aznriceboi]

married!?!? are you crazy? i was in the same situtition as you are in now but with my ex girlfriend. she lived 150 miles away from me and i never got to see her in person. and thats how it all started out with xanga. we IM eachother then i like her because she seemed cool and all. it lasted for 6 month and end abrupply. long distance usually never last. so don't waste your time on it. all thats going to happen in the end is someones going to get hurt. then you'll break up

[eversosweet]

im in ur situation rite now but we hav met each b4 like even our parents haf

[mouse_3k]

uh...

19 yr old and a 14 yr old..

already thinking about marriage..when u havent met him



well he might be some fat ol 40 yr old guy.

the age though, still..doubtful buuuut w/ floats ur boat

[KrunkMuzik]

I don't like long-distance realtionships. . I used to "net date" but I realized it doesn't work out. It's not the same as having some one next to you. I recommend having a "real" relationship.

[luckyxi3]

noo i`m not thinking of marrying him.. i`m just saying it`s an example of holding him back... i`m just thinking ahead... but i`m NOT thinking of marrying him now

[xoxspanky569]

Here is the things that a relationship needs:

1. Faithfulness
The guy is 19 and your 14...which means you are legally not aloud to have sex...if you DO end up dating..i highly doubt that he would want to wait 4 years for it...and he might end up cheating on you..which would suck.
2. Trust (related to faithfulness)
You need to be able to COMPLETELY trust this guy and have ZERO doubts about him. Seeing as you've never seen him before, never really met him, and he's 19 and your 14, things are going to be EXTREMELY hard in this catagory.
3. Contact
Whether you like it or not, you are going to have to be able to see each other once a month AT THE LEAST, if you can't manage that, things wont last long at all.
4. Similarities
You guys have to like some of the same stuff, so that you have things to talk about.
5. Differences
By having differences you have your own opinion...if you guys can accept each others opinion, that's good, you need to be able to do that.
6. Humor
You need to be able to laugh at the dumb things you guys do...or you will constantly be mad. No one likes a CONSTANTLY serious person.
7. Attraction
It's nice to have close friends, but if you want a romantic relationship with this guy, you are going to have to be physically attracted to him.
8. Conversations
You guys need to be able to consult in each other, no matter what the subject at hand may be, you need to be understanding, and you need to listen.

Well....if you guys can manage that...then things should work out...if not...then don't bother.

The doctor is out,
Spanky

[ComradeRed]

Join the navy with him.

[luckyxi3]

wow thanx spanky ... trust is good, similarities are better, humor is on the top of the list and conversations are waay past needed to be fixed... in other words i do trust him, he`s really funny, we seem to like the same things, and our conversations are never boring

haha... nice idea comradered

[hybrid]

Easy, do what your heart tells you to do.

[hoshino_aya]

Dude...take it easy!! I have no idea what you should do, but the only person who knows is you. You choose, cuz this isn't my life. I'm living through what you're living through too. I'm 16 and the dude's like 22. But it's okay, because I chose on my own. Now, we're just good buddies. It's more than no friendship, right? So, take your time, even if it rakes forever. Believe me, I should now! ^_^

[LiNHy POO]

wow i can relate alot!!! me and my boyfriend are in a long distance relationship and we're dealing with a 4 year age difference too. well seems like you really like him... but yess does he really care for you though? if he did i think he could wait to go the navy... make a compromise, maybe he can move to ny for a year? and then head off to the navy? but yehh.. try that. but if that doesnt work... and if both of you have trust in each other to wait... then go for it!

[betrayedbytheduc...]

gotta let this problem go. i already went through it and it didn't work out because it drove me crazy just waiting for him all the time. at your age you need to be going out there and experiencing different relationships which doesn't involve long distance.

[*Weird addiction*]

dont date him...its going to be very painful 4 u....and ur family...

[xocrziiblondeox]

did you ever meet him? i mean if hes in nevada.. thats along way away and long distance relationships dont work very well.. especially if hes going to the navy. if youve never met him then i would say no. how do u kno if this guy is for real?

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[sweetdreamsx3]

dont even think about it missy!

I agree with him and your best friend.

[*hcosurfkid*]

My older sister is 17, and this summer we went on a cruise (mariner fo teh seas) and it was 1 week in teh caribbean.. On teh first day me and my sister and like all the 350 kids ages 14-18 bonded really well and had thei own groups of frirends.. MEa nd ym sister met these Kids andy and scott.. MY sister fell in lvoe with the kid andy and didnt want to leave th cruise.. My parents still dont know about this kid... but anyways, on the last dya of the cruise we all gto massively drunk adn my sister mad out with this kid andy for a really long time.. SHe cried almost the whole 3 hours home on the plane ride from flordia.. Now andy and scott and me bonded liek we were brothes so it was emotional for mee 2. But besides the point they live nin Wisconsin and we liek in Massachusetts ont eh coast.. That si a long way.. But we keep in touch by aim and other things.. NExt summa my sister is gunna drive down there and stay there for most of the summa. im going wit h ehr.. i cant wait.. So there is nutten wrong with a long distance relaitonship..

[sunissed14127]

i would b careful & if u really think hes mr.right then give him all the things he would need 2 reach u

[hoshino_aya]

I agree with sunissed14127. Now, are you still taking your time?

[Dark Saga]

How sweet..

I am in a long distance relationship too, and it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I love my girlfriend so much, but you need A LOT of trust to handle a long distance relationship. Hope everything works out!

[slurp]

noone knows how you feel as much as you do. if you really think hes the one then you can give him all your information that he can reach you with. after he comes back from the army you can probably meet together or something. if its meant to be it'll be, follow your heart.

[*AngelicEyz00*]

Just let everything take its course Don't do anything drastic to the point where like you're wanting things to turn out a certain way, cuz then it just comes back to bite you in the butt later

Well, If he wants to go to the Navy, I say let him. You like him and all, but it's probably for the best..?

[nyctophiliac]

dude he lives all the way in Nevada...for all you know he's some 50 year old guy that likes to molest teenage girls
Steph

[Too Asian To DIE]

we can only give u the possibilities, we cant tell u what to do..... its not our lyf irs yours..... do what u feel is best

[HP and Lm1031]

im in a long distance relationship also. my bf lives in New York i live in Missouri. its hard at times but i always think about the good things. i met my bf for the first time in real life June 11, 2004 and it was the best day of my life. it will b a year for us Oct.31 (yea i know crazy!) but u do need to have AOLT of trust to have a relationship like this. and if he really loves u then he would wait for u if u guys want to get married down the road. but done b scared to follow ur heart! i did and i have never been this happy in my life!! and it really helps if u get to see him and touch him. but never hold back ur feelings tward him. i tryed that and it dosent help any but when i told him how i felt and what i was thinking i found out that he was feeling the same way i was and it has made us love each other more. im only 16 and when i told my bf that i wanted to spend the rest of my life w/ him he started cryin b/c he was wanting the same thing. our familys know that we want to get married and now his mom n dad wants to take me to Italy w/ them next tiem they go so i can meet the rest of the family. i have suffered alot in this expereance also i have lost my best friend b/c she dent like the idea of us dating and my bf and i have also suffered reatialdescrimanation b/c my bf is black/italian and ppl think that we shouldnt b going out b/c im white and hes black but u know what i dont care and he dosent care and the only thing ppl are doing to us is bringing us closer. so dont let ne1 put u down for this its ur life and ur heart so follow it!!
Hannah

[Too Asian To DIE]

im in a long distance relationship also. my bf lives in New York i live in Missouri. its hard at times but i always think about the good things. i met my bf for the first time in real life June 11, 2004 and it was the best day of my life. it will b a year for us Oct.31 (yea i know crazy!) but u do need to have AOLT of trust to have a relationship like this. and if he really loves u then he would wait for u if u guys want to get married down the road. but done b scared to follow ur heart! i did and i have never been this happy in my life!! and it really helps if u get to see him and touch him. but never hold back ur feelings tward him. i tryed that and it dosent help any but when i told him how i felt and what i was thinking i found out that he was feeling the same way i was and it has made us love each other more. im only 16 and when i told my bf that i wanted to spend the rest of my life w/ him he started cryin b/c he was wanting the same thing. our familys know that we want to get married and now his mom n dad wants to take me to Italy w/ them next tiem they go so i can meet the rest of the family. i have suffered alot in this expereance also i have lost my best friend b/c she dent like the idea of us dating and my bf and i have also suffered reatialdescrimanation b/c my bf is black/italian and ppl think that we shouldnt b going out b/c im white and hes black but u know what i dont care and he dosent care and the only thing ppl are doing to us is bringing us closer. so dont let ne1 put u down for this its ur life and ur heart so follow it!!
Hannah

yea listen to hannah..... wow oct. 31st..... its halloween... i luv halloween.... woah im off topic....

[luckyxi3]

hey thanx guys for your advices! and best wishes to HP and Lm1031. hope everything works out for you two!

well i guess i posted this thread a month ago. well next month [nov 24] is when HE`S leaving for the navy. weird `cause that`s also my brother`s birthday. anyways getting off topic, we`ve talked [on the phone and internet several times] and i`ve thought everything through. i`ve decided that... i`m willing to wait for him. i mean if i say he is the right guy for me, then why not wait? since there`s no other guy out there for me. but he told me once that he didn`t want me to be his girl because he didn`t wanna make me wait and endure pain. he`s received so much pain in his life and i could really care less if i get pain from this.. because he`s worth it. i wanna steal his pain away and owe him the happiness he deserves/deserved from the people that hurt him in the past. I WANNA BE THERE FOR HIM. besides, when he gets out i`ll be older and he`ll be able to meet by then. do navy people get little vacations while they`re in the navy? [please answer] and what i want right now is to ask him if he could consider coming here to NY to visit my before he leaves. that`s beyond my dreams lol. well yeah, so anyways i still didn`t tell him what my thoughts are but i will. i don`t know if he`ll approve of this long distance thing because he said he didn`t like em.. but i also don`t know if he`ll change that thought for me. so yeah and i hope that when we talk i can show him this thread so he can know everything. i was thinking of naming a star after him--like in that movie "A Walk to Remember". is it wrong to love him so much now? i know that might seem like a "dumb-girl" thing to say but yeah, i guess it`s true. i`m not blind, i`m not obsessed.. i`m in love

THANX GUYS FOR ALL OF YOUR ADVICES!

[sjlee]

if u haven't seen each other yet, then that's pretty risky... cuz who knows, maybe if u guys meet in person u'll realize he's not really mr right and totally opposite of what u expected even though u've been talking online and stuff

[Edele]

Well, considering the age difference...thats huuge. He's just about to start his life and you're only beginning high school or are in the middle of it. I mean...I'm not against long-distance relationships. I'm totally for them since a special someone of mine lives in NY while I in Illinois. But maybe you should consider dating him but not anything more and see where that leads the both of you. But if you really care about him, you just want to make him happy. And that just might be letting him go in the Navy and live his life.

Ciao!

[luckyxi3]

if u haven't seen each other yet, then that's pretty risky... cuz who knows, maybe if u guys meet in person u'll realize he's not really mr right and totally opposite of what u expected even though u've been talking online and stuff

do you mean like looks? because by now i could care less what he looks like. i think his personality over-ruled his image.

and for edele, yeah that`s a good way to make him happy. but i`m not thinking of making him stop of going to the navy. i mean that`s his decision and i`ll just wait until he`s done with whatever he wants to accomplish over there. i know it`s gonna be hard as hell, but there`s some things in life WORTH waiting for