b/f or family? |
 Aug 17 2004, 03:18 PM
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#1
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 wishing for SIMPLE LOVE with Jay  Group: Member Posts: 708 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,601  |
I've been dating this guy for a year now and I really love him, but the thing is my mom totally disapproves of us being together. She won't let me see him or talk to him on the phone. Everything I did was in secret, but lately I let her know we are seirous about our relationship and her head just exploded. She hates him so much that she wishes for him to die..I'm just torn by this cuz I really love my b/f but I don't like to see my mom cry (yah she cries talking about it with her friends) but you can't make my feelings go away that fast. What should I do?
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Aug 17 2004, 03:28 PM
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#2
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 freedom Group: Member Posts: 844 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,358 |
Are there any particular reasons to why your mother hates him?
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Aug 17 2004, 03:34 PM
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#3
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 who again? Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458 |
if you really love him, make that clear to the family so that the family could understand that you do love him and have to put up with him. either that or let your parents get the better of you.
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Aug 17 2004, 03:34 PM
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#4
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wishing for SIMPLE LOVE with Jay Group: Member Posts: 708 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,601 |
QUOTE(Ladii_D @ Aug 17 2004, 3:28 PM) Are there any particular reasons to why your mother hates him? Yah there are a lot..she doesn't like him for one cuz he's not in school right now and doesn't have a job. I am studying at a University so she doesn't think our education level is equal. Also she doesn't think our appearance wise matches together, cuz he's not the tall, handsome, dark guy..he's about same height as me and weighs 190lbs. Another reason is that He is not Christian, and I am, and she just wants me to date someone who is a Christian. |
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Aug 17 2004, 03:39 PM
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#5
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freedom Group: Member Posts: 844 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,358 |
Oh ok. Well if you guys do love each other and want to be together then as time goes by I think your mother will realize that no matter what anyone says you guys are going to be together. And she'll learn to like him as well.
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Aug 17 2004, 03:49 PM
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#6
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 Blasian, Asian, INVASION! Group: Official Member Posts: 4,288 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,769 |
if my mom hated my bf, i wouldnt care, i'd still go wit my bf. yea its selfish but w/e...not to fond of my mother NE wayz
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Aug 17 2004, 03:56 PM
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#7
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 t3h koolest guy in cB Group: Member Posts: 2,194 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 513 |
family.. i dun havea bf... lol ima guy
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Aug 17 2004, 04:57 PM
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#8
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Brie Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 10,172 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,548 |
Hm.
QUOTE if you really love him, make that clear to the family so that the family could understand that you do love him and have to put up with him. either that or let your parents get the better of you. I agree with Andrew. If my mom hated mine.. I wouldn't care. I'd still go out with him. *shrugs* I'm kinda like that. |
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Aug 17 2004, 10:11 PM
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#9
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
u should tawk to ur mom and tell her that u realli realli love him n stuff like that
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Aug 17 2004, 10:19 PM
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#10
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 421 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,135 |
it's like when your parents say that they don't like your husband or something, i mean you're going out with this person and/or living with this person so why can't your parents just be happy. it's not like they have to see him all that much and as long as you love him then they should love you and be happy for you.
my mom hated my sister's ex-boyfriend cuz he was too "immature". i thought he was acting his age and he was fine. She like my boyfriend better because he was almost done school and had a steady job. He doesn't even like my mom all that much. If anyone made me choose between them or someone else, i'll choose the other person just cuz they didn't put me in that situation. |
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Aug 17 2004, 10:22 PM
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#11
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 durian Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,124 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,860 |
Pssh.. BF over my family bleh.. Yea sure my mom might be mad, so I'm hiding it for now... But in the future, if she bugs me about it when I'm 25, I'll run away w/ my bf or husband lol. Bleh because I am so much happier when I"m w/ my bf.. no problems (well once in a while there is) and he can comfort me and not treat me like a little child.
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Aug 17 2004, 10:45 PM
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#12
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 F**k me Beautiful Group: Member Posts: 3,126 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,124 |
think to yourself, who dates my boyfriend? me or my mom.
choose ur boyfriend ~_~ |
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Aug 17 2004, 10:57 PM
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#13
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 Bardic Nation Group: Member Posts: 1,113 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,059 |
Your mom is right, you should not date outside of your religion unless you plan to convert, u cannot change people. People change themselves.
DO NOT DATE OUTSIDE OF YOUR RELIGION. your family will always be there, and love isn't a sure thing because you never know who the person your in love with really is. If love was ever a sure thing we wouldnt have music. When you have to choose between unconditional love and some fling, well if ur not sure what to choose there i have serious doubts you can be helped. If he loved you he could atleast try being a christian. dont get offended because it sounds like im assuming things, you asked for advice and i gave it using all the information provided. |
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Aug 17 2004, 10:58 PM
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#14
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 Wow it's been a long time!! Group: Member Posts: 1,672 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,954 |
QUOTE(xnastyninjagrlx @ Aug 17 2004, 3:18 PM) I've been dating this guy for a year now and I really love him, but the thing is my mom totally disapproves of us being together. She won't let me see him or talk to him on the phone. Everything I did was in secret, but lately I let her know we are seirous about our relationship and her head just exploded. She hates him so much that she wishes for him to die..I'm just torn by this cuz I really love my b/f but I don't like to see my mom cry (yah she cries talking about it with her friends) but you can't make my feelings go away that fast. What should I do? boyfriend- its your life. your future. etc. |
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Aug 17 2004, 11:17 PM
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#15
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 have u lost ur mind? Group: Member Posts: 512 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 26,217 |
sumptin like dis happened wit me... i let my grl go which wuz a good n bad. iono why i listened to my parents but i did. i look bak at it n i believe i shuda stayed wit her n defied my parents even tho they sed they were gonna prob disown me. see im azn n fami is like a huge thing so i juss had to listen to parents. but i really regret it. my advice to u is tell ur parents the truth bout how u feel. even if they dont like it, its not their life rite? dun do netin u'll kno u regret...
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Aug 17 2004, 11:21 PM
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#16
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 226 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,382 |
what you need to ask youself is...
does it bother you that he sint in school or working.. does it bother you that he isnt a christian. if he truely loves you (which im not doubting) he should want to either work or go to school so he can take care of you. and if it means alot to you that he is a christain it shouldnt be a HUGE sacrifice to go to church with you. |
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Aug 18 2004, 12:04 AM
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#17
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 ilikeyouSofreakingmuch. Group: Member Posts: 2,014 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 643 |
Yes, what morgs8384 said
hope it works out
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Aug 18 2004, 12:35 AM
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#18
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 advanced newbie... S2 Group: Member Posts: 3,504 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 752 |
You need to date him longer before you make a decision... but keep it in your mind: "this may also just be a phase." If after a while you think it's actually going somewhere and its serious, then you need to confront your mom and patiently wait for her approval. For now, just let her be. theres relaly nothing you can do about it
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Aug 18 2004, 12:15 PM
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#19
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wishing for SIMPLE LOVE with Jay Group: Member Posts: 708 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,601 |
Yah thanks guys for all ur advice.
sikdragon, no you didn't offend me at all. I appreciate and respect your advice. I think you are right. Dating someone that is not the same religion is very very frustrating cuz u have different morals and views. I am still working on it tho, cuz he is interested in Christianity, but just hasn't been convinced yet. morgs8384:, yah it really does bother me that he is not in skewl or work. He's even leaving for Australia in a month cuz he has nothing going on for him right here..I guess this is another issue I have to consider. But thanks..advice was very appreciated! |
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Aug 18 2004, 12:35 PM
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#20
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 300 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 21,855 |
QUOTE(sikdragon @ Aug 17 2004, 10:57 PM) DO NOT DATE OUTSIDE OF YOUR RELIGION. 
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