bestfriend gets a boyfriend, and im the 3rd wheel Options

[iheartsimba]

I've known this girl for about 2 years and we've been really good firends. Last year she wnet through boyfriend after boyfriend after boyfriend. they were never really serious relationships. but she would say she was "in love" and all almost every sigle time. and get this huge obsession. they would only last about 2 weeks to a month each. then a few days later shed move on to the next boy. but then people started htinking of her as a slut. and she didnt wanna be known as that. so she told me to make sure she didnt get a boyfriend at all the whole summer.

so then she goes to this camp for a week. behind my back she was going out with this guy even like a few days before she left to camp and she hardly knew him when he had asked her out.

so then they go on the beach because it was like beach camp and they were all alone. she comes back a week later, still trying to hide the fact she had a bf....like she didnt want me to know cuz she knew i was supposed to be mad at her or something. so finally about a week after she gets back from camp, word gets out that "lily and jay are oging out" im liek wtf why didnt i know shes like my bff.

So now shes pretty much claiming love once again. And for some reason I just can’t believe her this time. Because she would always claim it before.

But now she is seriously spending ALL her time with him. Everytime I call, the line is busy because she is talking to him. Whenever im hanging out with them I feel like the 3rd wheel. Sometimes she even asks me to leave so they can have alone time, like they don’t have enough already.

It’s like shes known him for about a month know, and I’ve been like best friends with her for over 2 years, and she just ditches me.

It's like everytime shes depressed or soemthing IM there for her. Everytime. SHe just calls up, crying and ill talk to her. But now she just leave sme liek that.

SHe doesn't even treat me right anymore. like its an honor to be her firend or osmething. Her bf calls her beautiful everyday, so i think its gotten to her. She getting so stuck up now.

This is part of what she wrote on her xanga:

jays such an amazing guy...he actually understands me, he cares about me, plus he's really sweet and nice. and that honking thing he does, it makes me smile, everytime he does it.

you know, he's practically my bestfriend at the moment...he lets me rant on and on about pointless things, and in the end, still has something to say. plus he is so much fun to hang out with...i just love being with him. my 2 good friends...1 of them, is out of town, and if i tryed calling her and telling her about my life, she probably wouldn't even want to hear about it, or wouldn't even pay attention to what i'm saying and make me feel like i'm talking to a wall. my other good friend...he probably doesn't even know i think of him as a good friend, and if i tryed talking about my life to him, he'd probably just sit there and not pay attention to half the things i say, or if he did, he'd say something totally mean, and make me feel like a complete loser for even telling him...but whatever, they have their ups and downs. at times they're great to talk to, but other times, i'd just want to shoot them.

ugh.

[tootsie_kiddo]

holy crap... if i were u and read her xanga, i wud get hurt so bad! "jay is my bestfriend now" and itz lyk, "wtf happend to me?!" am i rite...?

well this happened to me before. i hav a gud friend and she was ALL OVER him and she kicked me outta her life and i felt really sad and lonely... and then after a while i started being mean to her and she was lyk, "airii.. r u mad @ me?!" and i told her how i felt and she knew wat she did wrong...

[xsweetdreams12x]

She's infatuated with the guy, and it's probably not real love.

When she calls up when they break up crying on the phone, blow her off. She did it to you, and ditched you as well. You shouldn't let yourself be friends with her on her own terms. It's not right.

Yeah, one of my best friends had me get her with a guy, and dump the guy for her. But she didn't blow me off, because the relationship only lasted 2 days.

[fatbebepig]

well hahah im pretty much in da same situation as YOU except she dunt go frum guys to da next but even doe she hab a b/f she still cares bout meh and make her b/f take her to visit meh when i need sumone or when im SAD ............da things ish let her hab her tyme wif her boyfriend ya knoe . dat da thing bout girls..when dey hab a b/f and it all fresh dey get over obsesss bout da guy and when u talk to dem dat all dey cud talk bout "he dis he dat omg i love him blah blah blah" but hey atleast she think bout u're da first one she ran to to brag bout dat show she first on ur mind. (as in friendship term) wut she wrote in her xanga ish pretty mess up but if u look at it in another angle then u wud rethink it over......becuz she pretty much feel lyke how u feel in a wai...lyke she thinks dat u're pretty much ignorin her and doesnt even gib her attention!! she feels dat you dunt even bother to listen when she needs sumone to talk too even if it sumttin not important but still .....maybe dat wai she turn to her b/f and he dere to listen to her nonsense...BESTFriend are dere for you NOT just when u're hurt and heart broken BUT DEY"RE dere for you when dey're happi and excited over stupid things...DEY"RE dere fo you to brag bout da new guys you just met or how ur dates went or how u feel bout ur b/f or when u're mad at ur b/f and needs sumone to complaint too or when u're PMSIN or when u cry over NUTTIN and dey just on da other line just to listen to ur cryin......and also gib u space and leave u alone when u're hab ur b/f next to you...........and she'll be dere when u want her tooo.

[MeanBastard]

[b][font=tahoma]*sniff sniff* Your story is so touching. Okay, just kidding. Don't like what you got going with your friend? Ditch her. How old are you? High school right? Once again, there are about 6 billion other potential BFF out there for you. Whatever the hell BFF means. Best freaky friend?

[MeanBastard]

*sniff sniff* Your story is so touching. Okay, just kidding. Don't like what you got going with your friend? Ditch her. How old are you? High school right? Once again, there are about 6 billion other potential BFF out there for you. Whatever the hell BFF means. Best freaky friend?

[sheepy]

omgosh.. i hate ppl like that. maybe u should just leave her. i mean if shes really a good friend she would get out of her dream land nd realize that friends r more important then boys. you should tell her your side of the story.

[sunshiNe_sweeTi_]

if u feel that ur beng a third wheel there is no point being w/ her....and this girl doesn't seem like she knows wat luv is. if she has gone out w/ one guy n she was "in luv" then she would b all crying about it when they break up instead of hooking up w/ another guy...let her learn from her mistakes...n talk to her when she's ready to talk to you...jus cuz she spends so much time w/ her bf instead of u doesn't mean u should jus dump her...i mean we all hav trouble balancing out our friends from our bf/gf....

[Eternally_Yours]

wow. that sucks. i think you should let her know how crappy shes treating you and if she doesnt respond or anything than screw her! get a new bff. you deserve to have a better friend.

[Levy2k6]

i just ignore it when my friends get gf's and im there single... oh well. i can find myself a girlfriend or something.

but i dont care and they shouldnt be like.. dont tell me that they got a gf or something... just makes me mad when i dont know what's going on.

[inthemudhole]

Ack.
I'm sorry, Kristin.
I'd just avoid her for a while.
Or sit her down and tell her that you feel like the 3rd wheel, and that she's totally wrapped up in this guy.
She might explode and be all "OMG UR JUSS JEALOUS" but maybe you'll get through to her.. somehow.

[SarahxJoy]

th5418 Posted: Aug 15 2004, 1:41 PM

*sniff sniff* Your story is so touching. Okay, just kidding. Don't like what you got going with your friend? Ditch her. How old are you? High school right? Once again, there are about 6 billion other potential BFF out there for you. Whatever the hell BFF means. Best freaky friend?

Please don't double post. But anyway..

Avoid her for a few days. See if she notices. If not, then act all pissed off and mad at her when you're around each other. Don't make eye contact, don't talk to her, and give her the cold shoulder for a while. Eventually she'll realize what she's done.

But if she's an airhead confront her. Sometimes things can just get too out of hand.

[*RiC3xBoy*]

she seems to be those pplz that can never ever keep a promise so id say make a new best friend

[dani41790]

hmm mayb u should talk to her about it

[betrayedbytheduc...]

she doesn't even deserve you. that last line would make me ditch her if i was her bff. just get new friends or something. or if you have a crush on a guy or something, start hanging out with him and work your charm because a girl as pretty as you could get a lot of guys. and then let her see how it feels to be left behind.


good luck with your problem

[iheartsimba]

becuz she pretty much feel lyke how u feel in a wai...lyke she thinks dat u're pretty much ignorin her and doesnt even gib her attention!! she feels dat you dunt even bother to listen when she needs sumone to talk too even if it sumttin not important but still .....maybe dat wai she turn to her b/f and he dere to listen to her nonsense...BESTFriend are dere for you NOT just when u're hurt and heart broken BUT DEY"RE dere for you when dey're happi and excited over stupid things...DEY"RE dere fo you to brag bout da new guys you just met or how ur dates went or how u feel bout ur b/f or when u're mad at ur b/f and needs sumone to complaint too or when u're PMSIN or when u cry over NUTTIN and dey just on da other line just to listen to ur cryin......and also gib u space and leave u alone when u're hab ur b/f next to you...........and she'll be dere when u want her tooo.

thx and all... but incase you didnt see that part where she mentioned i was on vacation....I was in disneyland. And Texas and Rhode Island. I went to tons of places this summer. my cell phone was almost dead, and i had forgetton the charger. i couldnt waist my minuits on pointles phone calls. I couldn't really "be there for her" so she could brag about her new boyfrienD SHE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME ABOUT. She wanted to talk to me? PSH. She never even listened to me. We were always tlaking about HER.


Anyways, thanks everyone for the advice.

And I think I will ditch her.
Or give her the cold shoulder that tainted suggested

[sporadic]

Wow, I'm sorry but your best friend doesn't sound like a very good friend...

Possibly she's blinded by her "love"?

I don't know. She's just not a very wise person.

[LoST SouL]

ur still he rbest friend mayb u kud be best friends wit her b/f too like dun worry be happy for her if ur relly her friend you will mayb she n her b/f r relly in love now.. tlk to her but remeba ur not her only friend dont be selfish hey mayb u kud ask her b/f to hook you up wit 1 of his friend and you guys could double date... n like us shoud tlk to her bout wat she rote but u[if tat was bout u im slow] n xplain to her that u r there to lisnten but uv also gotta understand tat although you r best friends you 2 do have different intrest.. i say tlk to her n tlk things out

[iheartsimba]

ur still he rbest friend mayb u kud be best friends wit her b/f too like dun worry be happy for her if ur relly her friend you will mayb she n her b/f r relly in love now.. tlk to her but remeba ur not her only friend dont be selfish hey mayb u kud ask her b/f to hook you up wit 1 of his friend and you guys could double date... n like us shoud tlk to her bout wat she rote but u[if tat was bout u im slow] n xplain to her that u r there to lisnten but uv also gotta understand tat although you r best friends you 2 do have different intrest.. i say tlk to her n tlk things out

did you even read any of that

[skaterjswife2]

i think you should confront her and tell you how you feel.. if she is really worth being your best friend and everything, i think she will understand and you can work it out..she doesn't sound like a very good person though and like not worthy of being ur friend.. so maybe its time your friendship is over?

[*jooleeah*]

skaterjswife2 Posted on Aug 16 2004, 5:25 PM
  i think you should confront her and tell you how you feel.. if she is really worth being your best friend and everything, i think she will understand and you can work it out..she doesn't sound like a very good person though and like not worthy of being ur friend.. so maybe its time your friendship is over? 

i'll answer this one for kristin...everytime kristin confronts her " good friend" about how she feels....she just goes like " umm okay" or " okay cool" or something...her good friend never expresses how she feels to her unless she's sad or depressed or something.
just helping you out kristin =]

[iheartsimba]

i'll answer this one for kristin...everytime kristin confronts her " good friend" about how she feels....she just goes like " umm okay" or " okay cool" or something...her good friend never expresses how she feels to her unless she's sad or depressed or something.
just helping you out kristin =]

exactly what i was gonna say.


thx julia


anyway she doesn't even care what i have to say now a days.

[*FreeStickers*]

Wow. That would hurt me too. Something like that kind of happened with me and my friend, but they broke up after like..not a very long time.

[skaterjswife2]

exactly what i was gonna say.


thx julia


anyway she doesn't even care what i have to say now a days.

if she doesnt care about you..she's not worth it. shes not worth ur worries or anything else.. she seems eviiiiil

[Mireh]

Welcome to the wonderful world of relationships.

Stop being her friend. Friends don't ditch you for their boyfriend.

[uGOTmeBad]

that exactly happened to me. but the other way around. i was the girl with the boyfriend...

did u talk to her about it? did u confront her? she won't know unless you say something.

[ComradeRed]

Bring your attack dog when you confront her.

[sweetdreamsx3]

Yeah, listen to the other people. Tell her about the situation like you told us on CB. Maybe she doesn't know what you're feeling because she is too "in love" to notice. I hate it when that happens. They completely desert there REAL friends who've been there for them practically all their life, but then ONE person they met for 2 weeks, they just go to them. Ugh. Talk to her.

[jUz_cAnDy]

well, i think you should talk to her about it so that she knows how you really feel. if she blows you off again... well, don't talk to her again.. she might come runnin back to you when she gets hurt... if she does, just talk to her. she probably thought that bestfriends are easier to find that boyfriends.. which is totally untrue... if you still find her as your bestfriend then i know you would talk to her
hope this helps...