Its Crazy How A Girl Can Affect A Guy. |
 Jul 23 2004, 06:02 PM
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#1
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 Cb's Emotional Writer  Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300  |
Ok well I have no Idea what to call this. Maybe Its A Long non rhyming Poem, Maybe Its A Story, Maybe Its Just life..... I Dont Know, But I wrote this just now, it was all from the top of my head no brainstorming or nothing It just naturally came out, so sorry if the punctuation, and spelling and grammar are not perfect, but I wrote this just in case someone is bored and wants something to read. at the same time its so you girls can see just how much a you can affect a guy lol. By the way sorry its not the most perfect story and I left alto of details out, but I was trying to rush it lol. if you dont like the story then oh well im sorry to have wasted your time :(.
Nothing Without Her... By Emmanuel Morales (ME) lol. Its crazy, he just lays on his bed with his hands on his head looking up at his ceiling wondering, thinking, guessing, how is she doing, what can she be doing, does she even know that while she’s with the other guy Chris is just depressed in his room thinking about her? Chances are she doesn’t know, why? Because she is too busy in the other guys arms. He goes crazy at the fact that right now she can be doing something sexual with a guy who probably doesn’t care 1/1000000 th of what HE cares for her, the more he thinks about it, the more he cries, the more he cries the crazier he goes, the crazier he goes just leads him to see that maybe love is bullcrap , and that maybe no matter how great of a person you are, your other half can leave you at any given moment for no reason. He gets scared at the thought that no matter how great you treat a girl she can just walk out on you. He gets out his bed in tears and stretches for another day, knowing that it’s another day that he doesn’t get to see her smile any more, another day that his fingers can not feel her hair, and he cries harder and it hurts him, so now he’s breathing harder , he knows that right now all those pet names she used to call him, are not his any more, that now she’s using them on him , his legs feel weak so he goes up against the wall just clueless, as to how the hell can a girl be so important that now his whole life is messed up. He is shocked to see he can’t breathe without her, his hands tremble, his family at home knows something is wrong, but he has too much pride to admit to tell them, so lots of thoughts run through his head right now… He thinks about every stuffed animal he bought her, he thought about all the money he spent on getting her gifts just because he thought her smile was worth it, he remembers all the nights he would cuddle with her too watch a movie, all the times he made her smile by saying something funny, the times he would console her when she felt ugly. He remembers watching her favorite tv shows when shes gone just so he can feel closer to her. His friends would try to introduce him to other girls but he didn’t care much for it, he already knew he found his princess, his queen. He takes a deep breath and wipes his tears.. ….. But they come back down when he remembers all the talks of FUTURE KIDS, and all the talks of how their future home would be, and all the great vacations they would take together in the future. He remembers how at one time he felt so sure she was the one, that’s it his life was complete she was his other half….. Cries harder. She has his dream come true, and it hurts him to know that another guy took his dream, another guy is using his his soulmate. He knows that the other guy has like 3 more gf’s and he’s told her that. But hell, she just wont believe him and thinks hes just jealous, so it hurts him even more knowing that he loves her soo much and that another guy is just using her. It hurts him to know that the girl he treated like a queen, is not being treated like a slut. *cries in a angry way* He decides to sit down on the floor and write her a letter, his tear drops are falling on that letter, but he decides to keep on, he tells her how he feels and how he misses her, he closes the envelope… he walks towards her block and pays a little kid to go take her the envelope, the kid takes the envelope, while the guy is still crying , the kid leaves…. He stays in the corner of the block but the girl doesn’t see him, she just looks at the kid who gave her the letter, and the kid runs away, She looks at the letter and throws it on the floor, the guy sees this, but she doesn’t know hes looking , he gets hearbroken and he knows he will not get her back, he starts getting a lot of toughts. ……………. She hears a big car crash and runs to the corner of her block to see what happened. When she looks she sees its him under the wheel of a car, theres people all over looking at the scene, she stays speechless, she can not believe her eyes…… she runs back to her block and picks up the letter she threw away in the floor, she decides to read it, at the end of the letter it says “if anyone had to hurt me im glad it was you” She starts crying, she starts thinking about all the times she did him wrong, she tries to run back to the scene in hopes of him somehow still being alive even thought she knows he’s dead, but she atleast wants to make sure he can hear her out, now she wants to apologize , she keeps running towards the scene, and she gets 2 big surprises, one she sees the paramedics putting him in a body bag, and surprise number to when she looks to her left she sees her new boyfriend cuddling with another girl…… |
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Replies
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Jul 23 2004, 06:06 PM
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#2
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
by the way im new to CB, so if this story is similar to anyone elses writing im so sorry, but to be fair, I have not read anyones stories or poems yet, I will do so now.
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Jul 23 2004, 06:06 PM
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#3
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hm....um...uh...k? Group: Member Posts: 371 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,424 |
got bored so i read it...one word...woooooooo......who said..guys dont show their emotions...nice job..lol
Vin. 
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Jul 23 2004, 06:07 PM
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#4
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
lol thanks lol
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Jul 23 2004, 06:12 PM
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#5
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
hey if any of u took time to read this please leave feedback, good or bad, but i dont mind feedback lol
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Jul 23 2004, 06:13 PM
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#6
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 What the fack. Group: Official Member Posts: 6,164 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,519 |
Wow that was deep.
 Love is beautiful when it lasts, but when it's gone, it's tragic. You're good with writing.
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Jul 23 2004, 06:18 PM
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#7
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks lol, but hey if any of you think the story sucks, dont be afraid to say so lol
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Jul 23 2004, 07:06 PM
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#8
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 muted imperfections <3 Group: Official Member Posts: 3,295 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 2,260 |
whoa that is such an awesome story!!!!!
 it made me go awwww. lOL. nice job.  jackie
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Jul 23 2004, 07:07 PM
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#9
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
haha thanks lol
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Jul 23 2004, 07:09 PM
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#10
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 :hammer: Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 9,849 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,700 |
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
-speechless- *claps* Good job, I like it :D |
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Jul 23 2004, 07:12 PM
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#11
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks im appreciating the feedback :), honestly aslong as one person liked it, or atleast got the message, then my job has been done lol "WOW HOW CHEESY DID THAT JUST SOUND LOL"
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Jul 23 2004, 09:01 PM
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#12
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,847 |
that was awesome. i think my jaw hit the desk lol i love your story. good job.
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Jul 23 2004, 09:07 PM
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#13
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 WUT THA DUCK? Group: Member Posts: 3,950 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 14,138 |
wow how sad!! but its a great story!!!!
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Jul 23 2004, 09:09 PM
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#14
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
hey pplz thanks for taking time to read it, more feedback is always welcome lol
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Jul 23 2004, 09:46 PM
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#15
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 *aSh* =] Group: Member Posts: 2,075 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 15,101 |
wow thats really good!!!! i love it! great job!
By the way, Im Ashley =] |
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Jul 23 2004, 09:55 PM
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#16
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks :)
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Jul 23 2004, 09:58 PM
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#17
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 Pimp Status Group: Member Posts: 640 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,200 |
Man bro.... Im feelin ya on that one... but like the saying goes..."Its a shame that a girl can make a guy cry...Just because she can"
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Jul 23 2004, 10:12 PM
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#18
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
im with u bro, thats my whole point, they have that power over us lol.
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Jul 23 2004, 11:36 PM
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#19
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,847 |
hey i sent the story to my boyfriend. his response:
"wow...whomever he is he has my utmost respect as a writer. that was really a good story." |
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Jul 23 2004, 11:39 PM
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#20
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
tell your boyfriend I said thanks :)
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Jul 23 2004, 11:52 PM
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#21
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 ..::i<3 POonSKi::.. Group: Member Posts: 1,268 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,022 |
woah! its long...but good..lolz
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Jul 24 2004, 12:29 AM
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#22
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
lol thanks
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| *tyedyefroggy* |
Jul 24 2004, 01:04 AM
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#23
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Guest |
.......................................whoa.....................................
.....  that there, was deep......earlier today (which was the 23rd cuz its like 1am my time now on the 24th) I checked out your site....and I had a feeling that you were a good writing, but that......Fantastic Job.  -Courtney |
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Jul 24 2004, 01:19 AM
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#24
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks so much :), and for taking the time to read it.
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Jul 24 2004, 01:28 AM
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#25
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 PaRtY Ch!c Group: Member Posts: 149 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,529 |
Its ReAllY sweet.. i almost cried when i read it. Gd jOb~
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Jul 24 2004, 10:17 AM
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#26
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks :)
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Jul 24 2004, 11:23 AM
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#27
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questions make me blue. Group: Member Posts: 2,608 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,796 |
woah...that would really suck if that really happened.
 good job. you represent all the emotional guys. 
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Jul 24 2004, 08:33 PM
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#28
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
lol thanks =)
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Jul 24 2004, 09:17 PM
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#29
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
oh by the way someone here on cb told me that PEOPLE LIKE TO STEAL STUFF AND CLAIM THAT THEY WROTE IT, I MEAN IM NO SUPER WRITER AND MAYBE MY STORY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR U TO WANNA STEAL IT, BUT IF BY ANYCHANCE YOU USE IT ON A XANGA OR EMAIL IT TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR IT AND PLEASE PLEASE MAKE SURE I GET CREDIT FOR IT, i mean its mine and i wrote it, so if you do use it (which i hope you do) just make sure I get credit for it.
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Jul 25 2004, 06:25 PM
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#30
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 ¤ i havent been here much ¤ Group: Member Posts: 133 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 34,018 |
QUOTE(x_angawhomps @ Jul 23 2004, 7:09 PM) WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. -speechless- *claps* Good job, I like it :D whoa @-@ you are very good at least much better than me lol deep yes very deep. |
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Jul 25 2004, 11:14 PM
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#31
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks for the love :)
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Jul 27 2004, 11:54 PM
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#32
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 durian Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 13,124 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,860 |
Aww that's so sweet =D *sigh* If only girls didn't play with guys' hearts.. if only guys didn't play with girls' hearts.. lol.. Well anyways sweet story ^_^ It's a short read, yet very sweet. Another hopeless romantic, I presume?
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Jul 28 2004, 12:12 AM
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#33
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
*nods his head* lol
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Jul 28 2004, 12:42 AM
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#34
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 ThePinkPanda Group: Member Posts: 760 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 13,168 |
Dang.. I hope my brother doesn't end up like that. Because up until the letter, it's so much like him. He won't stop loving her. It pisses me off when I find out about all these guys she dates now. Who treat her like crud and only date her for sex.. My brother would have given her the world, and STILL would. Though they broke up months ago...
That was sad and beautiful at the same time. <-- 98% hopeless romantic |
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Jul 28 2004, 12:57 AM
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#35
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
hmmmmm
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Jul 28 2004, 12:59 AM
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#36
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 easily amused. Group: Member Posts: 189 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 32,094 |
"He gets scared at the thought that no matter how great you treat a girl she can just walk out on you. i love this line. wow that was really sad
but i liked it a lot. i'm a hopeless romantic so that really struck home to me. amazing. 
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Jul 28 2004, 01:05 AM
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#37
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
yeah that was my personal favorite line, cuz thats my biggest fear in love, that no matter how great you treat the person, and no matter how many day dreams u have, the person just for fun, can walk out on u and be like bye, and boom there goes everything, thats my biggest fear in love, so i decided to add it to the story
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Jul 28 2004, 01:07 AM
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#38
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
oh crap, somone pointed something out, and i gotta thank her, she immed me with this
PhUgIcA: I found a line in your story.. PhUgIcA: it doesnt make sense.. PhUgIcA: 'It hurts him to know that the girl he treated like a queen, is not being treated like a slut.' ok well sorry, its suposed to be, IS NOW(so change the not) lol BEING TREATED LIKE A SLUT, THANKS TO JESSI SO MUCH FOR POINTING THIS OUT! |
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Jul 28 2004, 01:29 AM
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#39
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,989 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 10,691 |
Nice story.
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Jul 28 2004, 09:34 AM
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#40
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks
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Jul 28 2004, 10:09 PM
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#41
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 Roses are red so r my cheeks! Group: Member Posts: 136 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,115 |
OMG dude great job, I didnt know that guys get emotional like us gurlz do... i think i am going to cry now thx for the writting I will allways remember that
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Jul 28 2004, 11:58 PM
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#42
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 Aww! ^___^ Group: Member Posts: 184 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,645 |
That was sad, see these stories always make me cry.
People: ALWAYS TELL THE PERSON YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THEM, because you never know when someone or something will take it away from you. Then you'll regret it if you didn't tell that person that you love them. That's all I have to say. -hEaRt <3 |
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Jul 29 2004, 12:50 AM
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#43
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
QUOTE(chica777708 @ Jul 28 2004, 10:09 PM) OMG dude great job, I didnt know that guys get emotional like us gurlz do... i think i am going to cry now thx for the writting I will allways remember that Thanks. |
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| *RiC3xBoy* |
Aug 1 2004, 08:05 AM
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#44
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Guest |
wow, what a great story, i like to hear another one from u grapple
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Aug 1 2004, 08:27 AM
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#45
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 bang bang! my baby shot me down! Group: Member Posts: 754 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,848 |
aw...
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Aug 1 2004, 05:22 PM
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#46
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
QUOTE(RiC3xBoy @ Aug 1 2004, 8:05 AM) wow, what a great story, i like to hear another one from u grapple thanksss, yeah i got a new one coming soon, i just dont wanna post too much, because I dont wanna bore everyone with my writing, so yeah eventually ill put a new one. |
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| *NatiMarie* |
Aug 2 2004, 08:18 PM
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#47
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Guest |
That's so sad!
That's such a great story...well written. Great release of emotions. You made it so detailed. I loved it. So talented. Good job. =) |
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Aug 3 2004, 12:11 PM
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#48
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks :)
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Aug 5 2004, 12:18 AM
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#49
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 136 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 11,553 |
dayum mayn.. thats deep like shit.. sounds almost JUST like wuts happenin to me right now.. except tha part where i die...ya well luv sucks...
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Aug 5 2004, 12:41 AM
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#50
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 advanced newbie... S2 Group: Member Posts: 3,504 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 752 |
WOW nice story
this would be the perfect topic if... you'd stop double posting. DONT DOUBLE POST!! its bad bad badbut seriulsy, very touching story. but no double posting! if you wanna double post, edit out ur first post.
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Aug 5 2004, 02:12 AM
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#51
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
i know yeah, im so slow i didnt see the edit button till like today lol, sorry :( lol
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Aug 5 2004, 12:13 PM
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#52
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 3,102 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,162 |
Whoa...
That's really sad, but really good.
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Aug 5 2004, 09:58 PM
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#53
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 80 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,071 |
Aww! I really like it. If you have personal experience with some of those feelings I'm sorry... I know what you mean but from the girl's side. Awesome that you can share feelings. Kudos
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Aug 7 2004, 01:31 PM
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#54
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
well thanks for reading it :)
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Aug 9 2004, 10:06 PM
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#55
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 Hip-Hop's Thai Boxer.. Group: Member Posts: 43 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,679 |
Yeah, I read this when you first posted it..
This was great.. REALLY describes the male's point of view, I can relate to almost all of it, except for getting cheated on/getting hit by a vehicle (well I got hit by a vehicle before, but still.. ) =P nice job |
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Aug 10 2004, 02:10 AM
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#56
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 Yum. =] Group: Member Posts: 888 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,139 |
one word...deep...touching...okay that was two words. oh well. that story was pretty good...i liked it, it seemed very realistic- i jus hope that this isnt based on a true story or anything
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Aug 10 2004, 09:14 PM
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#57
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 ¢¾ Wanting it. ¢¾ Group: Member Posts: 2,060 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,234 |
Wow thats reeely good
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Aug 10 2004, 11:15 PM
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#58
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 14 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 39,283 |
whoa you are a good writer. that was such a touching story.
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Aug 11 2004, 02:59 AM
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#59
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,384 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 37,337 |
sux? no way! it was hella good! touchin...
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Aug 11 2004, 08:07 PM
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#60
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks :)
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Aug 11 2004, 08:52 PM
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#61
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,032 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 23,398 |
wat evbwun sai its a good story..it is realliee
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Aug 12 2004, 07:58 PM
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#62
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 114 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 36,720 |
Wow, I love it!!
This is just like my life, cheesy as it sounds. I cried over this guy, spent alot of money on him and all that.. but he has a girlfriend all the way across the country.. *sigh* O well, this isnt about me so.. good job!! :) |
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Aug 12 2004, 09:44 PM
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#63
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 5,585 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 38,082 |
It gaves me the chills. :D
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Aug 13 2004, 12:30 AM
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#64
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 hi, my name is brianna! =] Group: Official Member Posts: 5,764 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,114 |
Interesting, I love it! *claps*
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Aug 13 2004, 01:45 AM
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#65
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 wanderlust personified. Group: Official Designer Posts: 7,515 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 797 |
very well written. truly captured the feeling of having a broken heart.
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Aug 26 2004, 05:23 PM
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#66
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Member Group: Member Posts: 27 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,892 |
wow, that's realLy deep . . made tears come to my eyes =) goodjob keep it up!!
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Aug 26 2004, 06:36 PM
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#67
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Member Group: Member Posts: 27 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 43,892 |
i hope you don't mind, but i put a link on my xanger that goes to this page =)
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Aug 27 2004, 07:41 PM
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#68
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 michellee<33 Group: Member Posts: 72 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 19,302 |
i loved it!!
great job.. almost made me cry too.. x3 |
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Aug 27 2004, 09:28 PM
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#69
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 Dark Lord of McCandless Group: Member Posts: 2,226 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,761 |
Don't cry because it's over, stare blankly and think "WHAT THE HELL?" because it happened.
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Aug 28 2004, 02:29 PM
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#70
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Cb's Emotional Writer Group: Member Posts: 166 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 33,300 |
thanks for all the great comments
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