parents sacrifice? Options

[batman]

my mother's always telling my sister and i how we're such a burden and how if she hadn't had us, she'd be rich and buying clothes for herself and living in this huge ass house, but because of us, we've got to save money and her life sort of sucks now and all she does is work.

on some level, i do appreciate everything my mom has sacrificed for us. like, she does work full time to support us, she pays for my school tuition (for now, anyways, i'm planning to pay her back when i can) and gives me a house to live in and puts food on the table. but is it right for her to keep complaining and throwing her sacrifices in my face?

like... it's not my fault that she decided to have kids. shouldn't she have thought about all the sacrifices she'd have to make before she had us?

idk i'm getting really sick of living at home.

[brooklyneast05]

yeah i think it's bullshit when parents do this. mine never do this really in any kind of serious way but sometimes they have said shit and my comeback is the same as yours, why did you have me then? kids should be grateful but it's not really like it's our fault that we need to eat and live somewhere to survive.



similarly i don't like when some parents complain about paying for college, at least when they are somewhat well off financially to begin with. my parents never bitched about this but a lot of my friends parents would and those people weren't even poor. i never understood the big problem for them. yeah college is expensive, but they also had 18 years to be saving and figuring out how to pay for it. it's not like it just snuck up on them and came out of no where.

[Reidar]

Lol, my mom said to me all the time "I wish I'd had a crystal ball to see the future before I had any children." It doesn't phase me. I don't particularly desire a life where people approve of or "love" me, two very overrated concepts.

[sixfive]

I've never had that issue. My parents have supported me through college and when people bitch about how I'm spoiled because my parents pay for my college, f*ck them. I know some people aren't as fortunate, but my parents want what's best for me and anyone who holds that against me can go f*ck themselves ^____________^

Also.

Parents are in no way shape or form obligated to provide any support once you're 18 years old. That would be kinda shitty if they just said f*ck you you're on your own, but a lot of parents can't afford to pay for schooling and I don't hold that against them one bit. I have two brothers, one going to UT one about to graduate and likely go to an Ivy League so my parents can't really afford to pay for me too much more after this next year - I'm on my own for Law School :D

[mipadi]

My parents are awesome. I didn't appreciate it enough until I was out of college, but I don't think they ever played the "You're living under our roof so you have to appreciate us" card. They've always been supportive through thick and thin.

Also, I kind of agree with Steven. I think it's nice for parents to pay for college, since it's so expensive. Mine chipped in a bit, but I mostly paid my own tuition, since my parents don't have much money -- but they would've paid for it if they could've. I don't think parents have an obligation, though, so I think you have to appreciate it when parents do pay for college. But they shouldn't hold it against you, either.

My girlfriend's dad kind of does that. She's 22 but lives at home because she hasn't found a job yet (and not for want of trying). Sometimes her dad plays the "You live under my roof so you should do exactly what I say always, no questions asked" card and it drives her crazy.

[batman]

idk, i feel like if you're under 24 and you can't claim independence for financial aid then your parents have some obligation to help with tuition. i'm paying for as much tuition as i can out of my own money, but honestly i don't even make half of what my tuition costs and when i apply for financial aid, i'm eligible for absolutely nothing because my parents are considered fully able to cover tuition costs. on top of that, i didn't even qualify for a loan (or the bank just never got back to me, idk) probably because i've never had a credit card and have zero credit or whatever, so i'm pretty much riding on my parents' loan for school.

i know it's sort of a case-by-case basis, depending on where you go, what your income is, and how your parents are. in my particular case, my parents have been the ones pushing me to be an ivy leaguer my entire life, knowing how expensive a "brand name" school is. i would've been perfectly fine going to a state school. it would be one thing if i just sat around doing nothing all day but i do work full-time and have been looking for more and more jobs to take on to help out with tuition. i'm no longer spending money and i'm practically selling everything i own to help out with the money issue.

like, i'm not saying parents should pay for everything. most people over the age of 18 can feed and clothe themselves, but big-money issues such as tuition and housing seem to be something parents should be willing to help out with.

[sixfive]

idk, i feel like if you're under 24 and you can't claim independence for financial aid then your parents have some obligation to help with tuition. i'm paying for as much tuition as i can out of my own money, but honestly i don't even make half of what my tuition costs and when i apply for financial aid, i'm eligible for absolutely nothing because my parents are considered fully able to cover tuition costs. on top of that, i didn't even qualify for a loan (or the bank just never got back to me, idk) probably because i've never had a credit card and have zero credit or whatever, so i'm pretty much riding on my parents' loan for school.

I don't think parents have any obligation to pay for a 23 year old or a 23 year old's tuition.

[brooklyneast05]

yeah i guess it depends on the people. i will feel an obligation to pay for or at least greatly help my kids pay for college seeing as i see college as basically a necessity in today's world. this depends on what university they went to or my financial situation, but if i can pay for it then i will.

[Blyat]

I feel like my parents are forced to love me
I appreciate the things they do for me, but at the same time they chose to have kids (like batman said) so they obviously knew there was going to be some sacrifices.

One time my mum got so pissed he told me I deserve to get abused...It was annoying

[Joanne]

I've never had that issue. My parents have supported me through college and when people bitch about how I'm spoiled because my parents pay for my college, f*ck them. I know some people aren't as fortunate, but my parents want what's best for me

This.

While I do sometimes feel bad about their paying for my education because my family isn't exactly well-off, they see it as a kind of investment. What they ask of my sister and me in return is that we respect them and do whatever we can in the future when we're in the workforce and they're old/retired.

[Matsumoto]

I've never had that issue. My parents have supported me through college and when people bitch about how I'm spoiled because my parents pay for my college, f*ck them. I know some people aren't as fortunate, but my parents want what's best for me and anyone who holds that against me can go f*ck themselves

I appreciate all that my parents have done for my brother and I, whether paying for college, cell phones, insurance, new cars, apartment etc. They want the best for us, besides it's also cheaper to have family plans and get write offs and whatnot. Some people might say I'm spoiled too or I don't know the value of money, but I don't just throw my things around or smash up my car, I take excellent care of the things my parents buy for me because I'm grateful for even having them.

Also, my college doesn't offer me any financial aid since I'm from out of state, but I've taken out some small loans here and there to help pay and plan to give back to my parents in the future even if it's not money I'm giving back. My parents don't expect money in return either, just that we are well rounded people with good morals driven to succeed etc etc etc

[Blyat]

Im so apprechiative that my parents can pay me and my sister's college, cause its hard to get all that money and my other relative will not help my parents