some jokes |
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 Jul 20 2004, 08:26 PM
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#1
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 Retired Member  Group: Member Posts: 879 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,843  |
It was about a month ago when a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so went to his priest:
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin." "But I made him agree to pay me 20 Dollars for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?" Sick Little Girl A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'." A very faithful woman An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!" Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!" Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!" The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD." The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't." The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!" |
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(1 - 17)
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Jul 20 2004, 08:28 PM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,248 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 30,084 |
hahahah those are cute jokes lol. ^^
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Jul 20 2004, 08:59 PM
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#3
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 Hi! I'm Dani :) Group: Member Posts: 5,637 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,369 |
hahaha man those jokes r realli funni
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Jul 20 2004, 09:43 PM
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#4
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 Look its... Group: Official Member Posts: 5,817 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,767 |
i love the last one. that old women is a strong women. love the lord =)
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Jul 22 2004, 04:05 PM
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#5
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,412 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 3,012 |
hahhaahhahaah
how CUTE. ;D ive got one... there was this RICH RICH guy who had lots of money.. one day, he's in his porshe. and while he's getting out of the car, this big truck slams into it and drives away, taking the door with it. the guy is really mad, and calls the cops. a policeman comes over and asks what the problem is. the guy says ")#(*&$)!!! THAT TRUCK RUINED MY CAR! #(*&$)#^$" the policeman calmly says "man, you have to calm down. you need to stop focusing on worldy possessions. they arent going to last." guy says "I DONT #(*$%)#^$)@& CARE! MY PORSHE IS RUNIED!!!" the policeman points to the man. "dont you even care about your arm?" the guy looks down and sees that his arm is missing. the truch had taken it with the door. his eyes widening, he shouts ")#(%()#*%&#)(*&%)#&^!!!!!! MY ROLEX!!!!!!!!" hahahaahahah =D |
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Jul 22 2004, 04:27 PM
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#6
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Retired Member Group: Member Posts: 879 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,843 |
QUOTE(IIO__oII @ Jul 22 2004, 4:05 PM) hahhaahhahaah how CUTE. ;D ive got one... there was this RICH RICH guy who had lots of money.. one day, he's in his porshe. and while he's getting out of the car, this big truck slams into it and drives away, taking the door with it. the guy is really mad, and calls the cops. a policeman comes over and asks what the problem is. the guy says ")#(*&$)!!! THAT TRUCK RUINED MY CAR! #(*&$)#^$" the policeman calmly says "man, you have to calm down. you need to stop focusing on worldy possessions. they arent going to last." guy says "I DONT #(*$%)#^$)@& CARE! MY PORSHE IS RUNIED!!!" the policeman points to the man. "dont you even care about your arm?" the guy looks down and sees that his arm is missing. the truch had taken it with the door. his eyes widening, he shouts ")#(%()#*%&#)(*&%)#&^!!!!!! MY ROLEX!!!!!!!!" hahahaahahah =D nice....that's funny |
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Jul 22 2004, 05:33 PM
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#7
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 042304<3 Group: Member Posts: 600 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,231 |
QUOTE(IIO__oII @ Jul 22 2004, 2:05 PM) hahhaahhahaah how CUTE. ;D ive got one... there was this RICH RICH guy who had lots of money.. one day, he's in his porshe. and while he's getting out of the car, this big truck slams into it and drives away, taking the door with it. the guy is really mad, and calls the cops. a policeman comes over and asks what the problem is. the guy says ")#(*&$)!!! THAT TRUCK RUINED MY CAR! #(*&$)#^$" the policeman calmly says "man, you have to calm down. you need to stop focusing on worldy possessions. they arent going to last." guy says "I DONT #(*$%)#^$)@& CARE! MY PORSHE IS RUNIED!!!" the policeman points to the man. "dont you even care about your arm?" the guy looks down and sees that his arm is missing. the truch had taken it with the door. his eyes widening, he shouts ")#(%()#*%&#)(*&%)#&^!!!!!! MY ROLEX!!!!!!!!" hahahaahahah =D ^^ thats heckka funny! and i also like the 3rd joke. hehe. |
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| *Weird addiction* |
Jul 23 2004, 09:40 AM
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#8
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Guest |
lol,cute jokes,i love the first one
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Jul 23 2004, 10:45 PM
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#9
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 ..::i<3 POonSKi::.. Group: Member Posts: 1,268 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 22,022 |
lolz!! haha! they're cute!
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Jul 23 2004, 10:48 PM
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#10
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 shut up when im sleepin...... Group: Member Posts: 46 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,102 |
QUOTE(IIO__oII @ Jul 22 2004, 4:05 PM) hahhaahhahaah how CUTE. ;D ive got one... there was this RICH RICH guy who had lots of money.. one day, he's in his porshe. and while he's getting out of the car, this big truck slams into it and drives away, taking the door with it. the guy is really mad, and calls the cops. a policeman comes over and asks what the problem is. the guy says ")#(*&$)!!! THAT TRUCK RUINED MY CAR! #(*&$)#^$" the policeman calmly says "man, you have to calm down. you need to stop focusing on worldy possessions. they arent going to last." guy says "I DONT #(*$%)#^$)@& CARE! MY PORSHE IS RUNIED!!!" the policeman points to the man. "dont you even care about your arm?" the guy looks down and sees that his arm is missing. the truch had taken it with the door. his eyes widening, he shouts ")#(%()#*%&#)(*&%)#&^!!!!!! MY ROLEX!!!!!!!!" hahahaahahah =D hahaha.. all rich ppl shood die! |
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Jul 24 2004, 03:10 PM
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#11
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Retired Member Group: Member Posts: 879 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,843 |
QUOTE(AzNPmPGMr @ Jul 23 2004, 10:48 PM) hahaha.. all rich ppl shood die! die? haha they should give their money away to us common folks lol |
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Jul 24 2004, 08:51 PM
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#12
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shut up when im sleepin...... Group: Member Posts: 46 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,102 |
QUOTE(v@por @ Jul 24 2004, 3:10 PM) die? haha they should give their money away to us common folks lol yea.... but they shood die after they give us there money!!!!! |
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Jul 24 2004, 09:39 PM
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#13
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 ooo la la Group: Member Posts: 433 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 19,853 |
hahaha those were funny.
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Jul 24 2004, 10:46 PM
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#14
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 doot doot doot Group: Member Posts: 1,803 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 1,954 |
lmao they're hilarious
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Jul 25 2004, 07:06 PM
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#15
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 214 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 14,404 |
DAAAHHH nice haha
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Jul 26 2004, 05:16 PM
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#16
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 s a r a h r o s e <3 Group: Member Posts: 575 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,944 |
lol i love them- not the last one too much :]
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Jul 26 2004, 05:28 PM
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#17
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s a r a h r o s e <3 Group: Member Posts: 575 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,944 |
QUOTE(IIO__oII @ Jul 22 2004, 4:05 PM) there was this RICH RICH guy who had lots of money.. one day, he's in his porshe. and while he's getting out of the car, this big truck slams into it and drives away, taking the door with it. the guy is really mad, and calls the cops. a policeman comes over and asks what the problem is. the guy says ")#(*&$)!!! THAT TRUCK RUINED MY CAR! #(*&$)#^$" the policeman calmly says "man, you have to calm down. you need to stop focusing on worldy possessions. they arent going to last." guy says "I DONT #(*$%)#^$)@& CARE! MY PORSHE IS RUNIED!!!" the policeman points to the man. "dont you even care about your arm?" the guy looks down and sees that his arm is missing. the truch had taken it with the door. his eyes widening, he shouts ")#(%()#*%&#)(*&%)#&^!!!!!! MY ROLEX!!!!!!!!" lol thats so funni! 
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Jul 26 2004, 05:31 PM
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#18
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 who again? Group: Member Posts: 555 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 31,458 |
LOL funny shit funn yshit
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