how to be an independent person? Options

[batman]

How do you do it? I've been dependent on my parents for so long, I don't even know where to begin. Like even now, I go to school away from my parents, but they pay for my tuition which includes housing. The job I have is really only supplemental money and is not enough to, say, pay for all the shit I need (or think I need) i.e. monthly phone bill, internet, rent (when I eventually move out of the dorms), car/travel, etc.

The reason I'm asking is because the "future" for me is about a year away. I've never worried about it before because everything was set in stone... college --> med school --> etc. And if I followed that path, my parents would carry me along because it's the path they approve of. But I know that next year when I DONT apply to med school (because it is suddenly clear to me that I have no interest in science at all and tbh don't want to be a doctor) things are gonna start getting tough.

And I'm super scared/freaked out/not sure what to do.

[brooklyneast05]

i just wrote in your answer thing on tumblr but it doesn't tell you anything useful

[synapse]

The state says that in order to be independent you must be older than 24, going for a graduate degree, or married. I think option #3 would be your best best for the finances getting affected. As far as your parent's footing the entire bill, if they're not complaining, and they have it give, I think they should until you can do it on your own.

[batman]

-_- even if i wanted to go to med school, i probably wouldn't be able to get in. i've been depending on "columbia university" to pull me through, but honestly, my grades are good enough to get by but not good enough to be a desirable candidate. that plus the fact that i have no research experience is really gonna make things hard for me. as it is, i'm so behind on my requirements that i'm gonna have to take a year off before med school anyways.

[batman]

ok, all that aside... med school isn't what i want and your argument to do it anyway bc my parents will be footing the bill feels really selfish and unfair both to my future and my parents.  idk what you think it is but med school is no joke.  it's hard work that practically eats up your life.  it's not like i'll be vacationing and just chilling out during that time... it's more than just "putting up with a few med classes."  if i go to med school, i'd be putting aside everything i want for myself for another 4 years.  and what happens after that?  if i do what my parents want just to buy more time under their bank account, then what happens next?  thanks for the lazy man's way out tip, but i'm not lazy and i'm not that desperate to leech off my parents.  plus... med school is also really f*cking expensive.

[brooklyneast05]

i don't think you should go to med school if you have zero interest. it's too much of a commitment and too expensive to take lightly. if you don't want to do anything with it afterward then it's really a waste of time and money. that's four (or more) years you could have used to get your footing in another area that you really want to be working in. you told me on tumblr about how you'd rather write, or be an artist, or continue music but you don't have a portfolio. i don't think that should be that big a factor in your decision. you can build a portfolio. you might be a step behind others, but the thought of working hard and catching up is (imo) much more tolerable when it's something you really want.

i think it's best to base your decision on what you think is going to make you the most satisfied. that's what i did when i switched from architecture to general art. (granted those two are a lot closer in general than science-->art, i wasn't near as far into it as you are when i switched, and i'm on scholarship so my parents weren't footing the bill) but for me i decided the best idea was to decide what i really wanted, and then worry about the rest later. it's sorta like a puzzle, you're not going to just be able to put the whole thing together perfectly all at once. you gotta start somewhere and then figure out how you can fit the rest of the pieces in right. i still haven't figured out exactly what i want to do. that was the kicker, because with architecture, everything was a lot more solid and i could count on knowing what i'd do and whether i'd be able to make a living. architecture for me was safer. science for you is safer. but at the end of the day the safeness of it just wasn't enough to out weigh anything for me. maybe i will end up going back to architecture in the end, but at least if i did that it would be for the right reasons. i wouldn't be wasting my time putting myself through an intensive program with no interest in the outcome.


just for the record, this is assuming you've wanted this for a while now. i think it's a terrible idea to defer med school if you just woke up one morning and decided you weren't interested in it and you've been thinking it for a couple weeks. you gotta feel pretty positive that it's not just a phase.

[batman]

just for the record, this is assuming you've wanted this for a while now. i think it's a terrible idea to defer med school if you just woke up one morning and decided you weren't interested in it and you've been thinking it for a couple weeks. you gotta feel pretty positive that it's not just a phase.

well, it's something i've been thinking about for a few years but only just started seeing clearly now. as it is, i'm going to finish up my premed requirements and i'm still going to apply (just in case). the thing is my entire life (literally) my parents have been reinforcing "you're gonna be a doctor" in my head. my grandparents are doctors, my uncles and aunts are all doctors, my cousins are all going to med school, in med school, or in their residency. and honestly i was never opposed to it... i went to a science magnet school for high school, i do well in chem, bio, physics, etc... i enjoyed interning with my uncle and watching him do surgery. plus, whenever i brought up any of my other interests to my mother, she would always say something like "after you become a doctor, you can do whatever you want. you wanna paint? become a doctor and you can buy the best supplies, take lessons, do anything."

becoming a doctor was sort of "it" for me and everything else was written aside as hobbies. over the past few years, though, i've sort of realized that i'm not as enthusiastic and crazy about going to med school as all the other insane premeds. my grades in my premed requirements are mediocre at best. i'm not doing any outside research, i don't have any internships currently, and honestly, i have no interest in working in a lab which, although is not required, is REALLY important for applying. idk i sort of feel unmotivated to do this and i feel like everything that i WANT to do i have no time to do.

i guess maybe i just want to explore my options before making this commitment? idk. i'm definitely taking a year off between graduation and med school though, assuming i decide to go to med school. if anything, i'll have to use that year to get in some research experience.

[queen]

^ typical asian parent mentality lol. i feel you.

anyway, i've voiced my opinion on your situation before, but you seem way more opposed to med school now than before. you won't really know the answer until you go through it yourself, so when you get your BS/BA degree, do what you feel is right for you. just know that coming back to your original plan will be harder than going for it straight. but if that's what it takes for you to find your path, so be it.

i personally have yet to know what's right for me, and i've major-hopped throughout all my college years. i've finally decided to buckle down and finish my chemistry (actually, i'm setting up a weird path to become an art restorer), but i still feel a tinge of guilt, because i know what could have been. then again, if i had taken that original path, i would've been asking myself "what if". so if you're the same me, you will go wandering about before you settle.

[iRapediCarly]

i don't think you should go to med school if you have zero interest. i like to touch myself when Lost is on too